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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27478003">see hope rise with the tide</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiresFromOurHearts/pseuds/FiresFromOurHearts'>FiresFromOurHearts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Sea Never Dies [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Caring, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Friendship/Love, Gen, Heed warnings at the start of each chapter, Hurt/Comfort, I promise!!, It can be hard, It's not all bad, Looking After One Another, Love, Missions, Missions Gone Wrong, Multi, Naruto Founders Week 2020, Near Death Experiences, Ninjas - Freeform, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, QPR OC/Uchiha Izuna/Senju Tobirama eventually, Queerplatonic Relationships, Reincarnation, Romance, Some Fluff, The Sea Never Dies AU, Trauma, Uchiha Izuna Lives, Wanting your partners to be happy, Warring States Period (Naruto), but it's a minor thing, but you'll get there one day, can't believe i forgot that tag, happiness, healthy relationships for the win</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:48:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27478003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiresFromOurHearts/pseuds/FiresFromOurHearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In one world, Toru Uchiha will die and that will be the end of it. This is not that world.</p><p>The Warring Clans Era is an awful time to be alive and clans are throwing children to the frontlines and watching them drop and doing nothing. Toru is one of those many children - at least, he is until Izuna sees him fighting. Through Izuna's persistence and a mission gone wrong, Izuna manages to become friends with Toru and the world is changed by it. Then again, Toru's always had that effect. He might look only to his small part of the world, but the ripples are not so insignificant as they seem. </p><p>(Or where a thrice-born Toru is thrown into a world of war and blood, Izuna decides to make a friend outside of his brother, and Konoha is founded on the back of friendship rather than blood. Happy endings don't come from sacrifice and trauma and war and blood, it turns out. Happy endings come from what happens after.)</p><p>(Doesn't require knowledge of The Sea Never Dies or Toru as a character. A quick summary is given on the first chapter for an explanation as to what happened.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Character(s) &amp; Uchiha Madara, Senju Hashirama &amp; Senju Tobirama, Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito, Senju Tobirama &amp; Original Character(s), Senju Tobirama &amp; Uchiha Izuna &amp; Original Character(s), Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Izuna, Uchiha Izuna &amp; Original Character(s), Uchiha Izuna &amp; Uchiha Madara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Sea Never Dies [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/715674</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Founders Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverUtahraptor/gifts">SilverUtahraptor</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Silver. This is all your fault. Silver was like "IZUNA" and I was like okay. But what if I- and then she also mentioned TobiIzu and that began to wind its way through and I also threw some QPR in there because this is me we're talking about. Anyway, I hope you're ready for a bloody Toru and Izuna who will kill anyone who tries to harm the other boy (probably). But, before that, they meet. </p><p>Anyway, ultimately, this is Silver's AU. It's definitely all her fault. It was going to be short and then it grew and grew and grew and birthed its own child and here we are. </p><p>The title is stolen from Moving Forward by Colony House which you should definitely listen to. </p><p>Quick explanation for those who don't know the Sea Never Dies series: Toru was an Uzukage reincarnated into Toru Uchiha (canon time) a few years older than Sasuke and regained his memories following the massacre which he managed to survive thanks to a seal. Toru causes many changes, murders ROOT, gives Naruto and Sasuke a family and helps a lot of people, before he runs to the ruins of Uzushio and sees his village rebuilt. <i>This</i> AU goes wildly sideways by saying, after his death, Toru is born into the Uchiha Clan - but years earlier this time. He definitely has some problems with this.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>FIRST CHAPTER WARNING:</b> Toru is vaguely suicidal? At least to Izuna's eyes. Warning for that. Also dead family members. Welcome to the Warring Clans Era. Toru's also vaguely depressing in this - not depressed, but depressing. He's a child fighting in a war, so it's to be expected, but I figured I'd add that to the warning anyway.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Izuna first sees the boy on the battlefield.</p><p>He’s a scrap of a shinobi, someone Izuna’s more likely to see sitting on the streets in a civilian town than in his own family. He’s skin and bones, ragged clothing, <em>(and a thousand-yard stare that’s all too common to veterans)</em>. But Izuna doesn’t notice that—not in the heat of battle, that comes after.</p><p>What he notices is how small the boy is with no one watching his back. He blurs with speed, ducks between people, and slips around blows, and presses forward and forward and forward, <em>(with a ferocity that seems much too big for such a tiny body)</em>.</p><p>So Izuna charges forward, steps up to watch this kid’s back because <strike>Kou’s been in the ground for barely a month and he was thirteen</strike> the kid’s got to be younger than Izuna who’s <em>eight</em>. And so Izuna bares his teeth at the Kohaku-nin facing him, dares them to push against his line; beside him stands the kid, younger and much smaller than Izuna.</p><p>And Izuna has no idea how the boy’s managing to keep up with him, but <em>just keeping up isn’t enough</em>, he thinks to himself as he covers the kid’s back and slices the throat of a teen Kohaku.</p><p>In response, the kid whirls around, a snarl on his blood-splattered face, <em>(and he looks at Izuna like he’s the enemy)</em>. “I don’t fucking need your help,” he spits out, and then he spins, re-joining the battle, leaving Izuna almost floundering, <em>(but there’s no time for emotional upheaval on the battlefield, so Izuna shoves the thoughts of how he and his family have been failing the Uchiha children, and presses on like it’s the only thing he can do—and it is)</em>.</p><p>Soon, <em>(but not soon enough, <strong>never</strong> soon enough)</em>, the call is sounded and the Kohaku ninjas are retreating. Izuna doesn’t follow, but he watches them, wary. To his right somewhere, his elder brother’s chakra flares, <em>(campfire-hot-hearth-warmth-almost-all-encompassing)</em>, and although Izuna wants to see his brother and ensure that he’s alright, but-</p><p>The kid squats down next to a nearby corpse and starts ruffling around. At first, Izuna’s confused, but then when the boy grabs the weapon holster, he understands. Except, the kid continues searching the corpse.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Izuna asks, <em>(and maybe their opponents aren’t honourable, but everyone deserves to have a body to burn)</em>.</p><p>The kid looks at him, narrowed eyes and glaring, <em>(and ratty clothing that is too short, scars prominent against the pale skin; injuries not yet healed still red, bruises dark and big)</em>. “What do you think?” He spits out, antagonistic, and Izuna has never been treated this way by someone in the Uchiha Clan. He’s an heir, after all. He’s not sure whether to find it refreshing or not, <em>(or sad because the kid’s clearly got no one on his side)</em>. “I’m finding their fucking money. Got to survive after all. Not like anyone else will do it for me.”</p><p>Izuna doesn’t know what to say to that. He shuffles, somewhat uncomfortable. And, just like he almost always does, Madara appears next to him, focussed solely on him, scanning him for injuries. Once he seems to have realised Izuna is uninjured, he turns and raises an eyebrow at the kid near his brother who seems to be scavenging from corpses.</p><p>“Picked up a stray, Izuna?” Madara asks, shifting to stand next to Izuna, <em>(and looming, because he loves lording his latest growth spurt over Izuna)</em>.</p><p>Before Izuna has a chance to respond, the kid stands, spinning around, with yet another snarl on his face, <em>(and so far, Izuna has only seen anger, nothing else, and it makes him sad because it’s almost as if the kid has nothing but anger)</em>. “I’m no one’s <em>stray</em>,” he says, spitting out the word like it’s some kind of curse. Then, for the first time Izuna can see, he pauses afterward and grudgingly adds, “I’m Toru.”</p><p>It’s not necessarily a name that Izuna has heard before, <em>(and it’s a strange name, for an Uchiha)</em>, but when he glances at Madara he knows his brother has heard of Toru before. Which isn’t that surprising—Toru’s definitely younger than Izuna. He’s guessing that three years, but that seems almost too young to have been on the battlefield for a while already, <em>(but experience comes quick, he knows, when it’s survive or die)</em>.</p><p>Toru stares at them for a bit and Izuna finds himself unsure how to break the silence, the standoff. But then Toru is scoffing, <em>(skin and bones and scars)</em>, turning his back to them and saying, “Go back to your home. Some of us have things to do.” Izuna watches as Toru moves to another corpse, once again scrounging for weapons and money.</p><p>“He’s our youngest ninja currently,” Madara says quietly before Izuna can even ask. “Started completing missions and joined the battlefield last year like you, but he’s two years younger.”</p><p>Izuna breathes out, slowly, carefully. That- That places Toru at six right now. Five last year then. Child ninjas are far from uncommon, but the normal beginning age for missions and battlefields is eight—seven for those like Izuna who need to be seen and need to be strong. The fact he’s using the battlefield to find money is abnormal, most only scavenge for weapons; but even then, the Uchiha blacksmiths have weapons of superior quality.</p><p>Ultimately, it implies that Toru’s parents are dead and he has to provide for himself, <em>(assuming he has no siblings)</em>. The death of family members isn’t unusual, they’re always at war after all. But normally the kids are passed amongst all the Uchiha and looked after. It’s a system that works. Izuna <em>knows</em> it works, but it’s failed Toru, <em>(even if that might be because the kid is so standoffish and angry, but still—he deserves some safety)</em>.</p><p>And without anyone looking out for him, there’s no one to advocate for higher-paying missions, which means Toru’s probably using minimal funds to keep himself alive. Which explains how skinny he looks. How small.</p><p>Six, Izuna thinks to himself, and lets himself mourn that slightly. At six, he’d been mourning the death of Togakushi and training, but he’d been unbloodied and still playing games with other kids. Toru doesn’t have any of that<em>.</em></p><p>
  <em>(A part of Izuna wonders if he ever did.)</em>
</p><p>“Come on, Izuna,” Madara says, a friendly shove to his shoulder, just enough to make him rock without actively pushing him over. “There’s work to be done.” Izuna nods, watches for one moment, the solitary figure of a child, crouched over a corpse and methodically working through their pockets. Then Izuna turns away and follows Madara.</p>
<hr/><p>The house is quiet, <em>(it is always silent)</em>, as Toru lights the incense of the shrine and continues the ritual for his dead family. The one he never got to know and all those he’s had in past lives.</p><p>
  <em>(He tries not to wonder if those from past lives are watching over him. Because it raises the question of whether they exist—whether they will exist. He’s never researched the time theories based on seals, but he’s fairly certain the theory of different timelines had been a prominent one in Uzushio once upon a time. He has to believe that this is a new timeline and that he hasn’t rewritten the past <strike>and ruined the lives of all the friends and family he once had</strike>.)</em>
</p><p>Sighing, Toru bows his head. The shrine, technically, is for his family. His father, a brave shinobi who was gone more than he was around, who died when Toru was five. His elder sister, a kunoichi who hated the role they tried to place her in but never got anywhere, who died shortly before Toru turned five. His mother who had been in his life for two years, then died giving birth to a brother Toru would never know.</p><p>He doesn’t know if he grieves for the family he could have had, <em>(there’s so much grief)</em>. He’d had too little time with his mother and barely remembers any of it. His father had been absent and while his sister had tried, Toru had not. He’d been angry and grieving and quiet. Then the chance was lost to him forever.</p><p>
  <em>(Toru is bitter and angry, and he’s not sure who he’s angry at.)</em>
</p><p>The morning waits for no one and so Toru stands. He’s not well-known here. Those who live nearby know him. The families who tried to foster him might remember him, but that had been years ago and Toru had fought off any sign of a relationship forming. He didn’t let himself get attached to his family, and it’s not fair to the dead to connect with others in their stead—even if he had wanted to.</p><p>He’s not on the active battle roster today. The fight yesterday means that unless they need all the able-bodied ninjas, <em>(soldiers)</em>, they could get, he can take the day off. Of course, a day off often meant dealing with the weekly household chores that accumulated when he was fighting or on a mission, <em>(which, really, were the same thing in the end)</em>. Or training.</p><p>
  <em>(Sometimes it feels like all he does is train. And even then, he trains half-heartedly. He hasn’t quite slipped under the radar here, but he’s not unique either. There are parts of him he’s left behind. Parts he refuses to use until he has to. The deadliness of seals might be useful on the battlefield, but it’ll raise questions—and it’ll leave even more dead and while Toru might protect the Uchiha Clan with all he has left in him, he’s still unwilling to be responsible for massacres.)</em>
</p><p>Cleaning is easy. It’s one task after another and Toru’s done it often enough that it’s almost second-nature. He could do it faster, speed through it, but he doesn’t want to. There’s something good about it all. It’s bloodless and it takes time,<em> (there are so many hours in the day and Toru doesn’t know what to do with them; sometimes he just wants to sleep and sleep, but he can’t do that; can’t waste the day away, people have died so he could have another day to live and breathe)</em>.</p><p>After cleaning, he heads towards the main market for food. The Uchiha Clan aren’t doing too bad, but the food prices always seem to be rising and taking most of Toru’s money with them. As much as he tries to budget, he’s almost always hungry, <em>(but at least that’s something he can live with)</em>, especially after putting aside funds for weaponry and clothing, which take precedence because he’d be dead without the correct clothing for fighting, and weapons are the only thing between him and certain death.</p><p>The market is in a lull. The compound itself feels at ease to Toru. It always does. It’s so different to the rush and danger of the battlefield, and their territory is big enough that the fighting rarely comes to the compound. Only once in recent memory was there an attack—the year before Toru had been born—when one of the Clan Head’s sons had been assassinated.</p><p>Toru buys enough food to last him for a week—although it can be stretched to last two weeks or longer—that should keep if he goes away. He’s just turning to head home when someone appears next to him in a blur of speed.</p><p>Instinct has him dropping everything, a kunai in hand, and then he’s digging the blade against the soft throat of someone taller than him. Adrenaline raging, Toru looks at the other ninja’s face—Izuna. The hostile feeling surrounding Toru suddenly makes more sense.</p><p>Slowly so that he doesn’t upset any of the ninjas further, <em>(and they’re watching him, careful and dangerous and ready to attack if he goes after the scion of the Clan Head)</em>, he steps backward and drops the kunai onto the ground, point first. Immediately afterwards, there’s someone roughly pushing him to his knees, hands tied up with wire behind his back. He keeps his head down. There’s nothing he can say in his defence here—but he shouldn’t be punished. Battlefield instincts are known to cause problems for the majority of the Uchiha Clan. But if Izuna pushes the issue, then he might be punished.</p><p>
  <em>(Toru doesn’t think he will, though. But he’s been wrong before.)</em>
</p><p>“You can let him go,” Izuna says after a beat. He gives no explanation, and after a moment of hesitation, they let Toru go. The world goes back to normal around them.</p><p>Toru stands, <em>(refuses to rub his wrists)</em>, and—without looking at Izuna—starts picking up his dropped items. Izuna drops to his knees and helps him. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I shouldn’t have landed so close.”</p><p>There’s anger still, thrumming in his veins. But Toru’s tired too. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” He asks and he hates that he doesn’t sound angry or anything—just defeated.</p><p>Izuna almost doesn’t flinch, but there’s an aborted twitch there. It’s enough of a response that Toru doesn’t ask again, just takes his items from Izuna and heads home. But Izuna refuses to leave him alone, trailing along in his wake.</p><p>Izuna chatters away in the silence, only pausing if it’s something that Toru can respond to. But the other boy just stays silent—yet he’s not chased off or shouted at again, which Izuna thinks is a rather good sign.</p><p>Toru leads him to a house near the outskirts of the compound. Izuna eyes it critically. It’s on the decrepit side, paint flaking, and looking rather worn, but Toru marches up to it. Near the doorstep, Izuna pauses. He wants to follow Toru in, but good manners dictate that he waits until he’s invited in.</p><p>“What do you want?” Toru asks, once again, as he opens the door.</p><p>Izuna hesitates, once again. He’s not sure what he wants. Not sure why he wants to know more about this kid.</p><p>
  <em>(Just remembers the broken body of his brother on the battlefield not even a month ago. Toru is younger than Kou and no one’s looking out for him. Izuna doesn’t want to see the six-year-old with the other causalities. Doesn’t want to see kids younger than him out fighting on the warfront.)</em>
</p><p>“You fight well,” he says, <em>(and there are teasing words on his tongue, something he might say to Madara, but he doesn’t know Toru—not yet—so he bites them back)</em>.</p><p>Toru narrows his eyes. “If I spar with you, will you leave me alone?” He asks. Izuna shrugs in response. It hadn’t been what he’d been going for, but he won’t refuse a spar. It’d be interesting, if nothing else.</p><p>“Alright,” Toru decides. “I’ll spar with you. Give me a minute to put everything away.” Pausing, adds slowly, “You may come in.”</p><p>Rocking back on his heels, Izuna smiles at Toru instead. “I’ll wait here, it’s okay,” he says, <em>(because Toru clearly doesn’t really want him inside, he’s just offering out of common courtesy)</em>.</p><p>It doesn’t take long before Toru comes out, and he just looks resigned, <em>(Izuna’s not sure how he feels about that)</em>. Either way, Izuna cheerfully leads Toru deeper into the compound to one of the more isolated training grounds. He has a feeling that Toru will likely appreciate avoiding crowds—and after that situation in the market, it’s the least Izuna can do. Probably.</p><p>The ground they come to isn’t very big, marked with old scars from past spars, but it’s mostly flat for the most part. With excitement growing in his chest, Izuna turns to Toru, “Ready?” He asks, bouncing on his toes lightly.</p><p>
  <em>(And he wonders what fighting Toru will be like. Because from what he’s seen, Toru is deceptively fast and pushes forward, without ever stepping back. It won’t be like Madara who’s strong and dangerous and deadly, throwing out ninjutsu again and again. <strike>Kou had fought like a viper, sharp and quick, and it had not been enough. Togakushi used a katana and might have been a prodigy, with enough time; there had not been enough time. No one would know how Kuro might have fought, he was killed too early to even begin training.</strike>)</em>
</p><p>“Yeah,” Toru says, settling into a loose defensive position. It’s not one that Izuna’s seen before, or at least not one commonly used. Toru stands almost side-on, low to the ground, weight resting in his back leg, hands raised—one higher almost out in front of his throat, the lower one near hip-height. Most Uchiha fighting styles generally employ standing straight-on, ready to move and catch your opponent’s gaze. This is one of the few Izuna doesn’t know, probably made for Uchiha without the Sharingan and unlikely to ever get it, <em>(those who came from lower families, Izuna knows)</em>.</p><p>“Taijutsu to warm up,” he decides. “Standard rules apply.”</p><p>Something changes in Toru’s stance—a tightening of muscles, maybe? <em>Or</em>, Izuna thinks, narrowing his eyes, <em>an aborted twitch.</em> It occurs to him that Toru might not spar much, <em>(especially if his family is dead and he looks after himself alone, without depending on anyone around him who would help in a heartbeat because they are clan)</em>. “No attacks that can cause death,” he begins to list, “and avoid injuries that may cause harm—permanent or anything that can’t be fixed with a quick visit to the healers. Anything that may require stitches or more than the rest of the day off means the spar is instantly called off and the injured person wins. Vocal surrender is allowed, but if you can’t voice it, simply tap me twice or form this hand signal.” Izuna makes the gesture with his own hand to show Toru.</p><p>Then, he drops into his own stance. “Ready?”</p><p>Izuna barely has time to see Toru’s small nod before the younger boy launches forward, blurring with speed. Mentally cursing, Izuna throws himself sideways, rolls and comes up in a defensive stance. Toru is already there though, and somehow fast enough that Izuna can’t quite pick out his movements and is forced to retreat slightly to find a better way to fight. Toru pushes hard, blow after blow raining down upon him. He’s not strong, <em>(if he gets the time to live and grow up, he will be, Izuna knows)</em>, but he’s fast and he uses that to his advantage.</p><p>It’s not like most of the ninjas Izuna fights, who are primarily adults and use their own strength and extra reach to try and take him down. It’s something new, but no less dangerous, and there’s a moment where Toru steps back beneath one of Izuna’s blow—a moment where he thinks, <em>yes!</em>—before he disappears in another burst of speed, and then there are feet landing on his shoulders from behind.</p><p>He goes to roll forward, but then Toru is slipping, hands coming to clamp over his face and Toru shifts his own weight back, and a sudden flare of chakra has Izuna off balance both physically and mentally. Toru slips, flips off, and lands in front of Izuna.</p><p>
  <em>(The shift in weight, Izuna realises, had been a simple example of what Toru could have done—could have pulled Izuna backwards and broken his neck. Not easily, because Izuna would have fought, but it’s one of the quickest death-blows someone has landed on Izuna recently—aside from his brother, of course. It’s humiliating, but then Toru is certainly something else.)</em>
</p><p>“I won’t be that quick to lose a second time,” Izuna warns as he settles into a stance that’s so familiar, he could enter it in his sleep, <em>(it feels like coming home more than returning to the compound does)</em>. “Anything goes now, but same rules as before.”</p><p>His Sharingan flares to life and the world took on a red tinge. With any luck, it’ll be enough to give him the edge over Toru’s speed. This time, Izuna spots the small signs that Toru’s about to move—the shift of his back foot, the tensing of muscles, the slight drop in height. It’s not enough though. Somehow, against all the odds, Toru still moves too fast for Izuna—he can see where the other will land, but he’s just too slow to react.</p><p>However, he doesn’t have to depend solely on taijutsu know. He meets Toru, deflects two blows, and lashes out with a kick. Which Toru slips around, because of course he does. His defence seems to be primarily based around avoiding the blow, and while understandable, it’s still infuriating.</p><p>There’s a moment where Izuna launches an attack that just misses Toru’s cheek, and the kid meets Izuna’s gaze for the briefest moment. But it’s enough. It’s more than enough. Izuna’s chakra rises and he twists reality around them, sends Toru hurtling through several layers of genjutsu.</p><p>Toru breaks the first layer with the ease of an Uchiha, but stumbles over nothing. It lets Izuna land a heavy kick to Toru’s ribs—which will undoubtably bruise—and leads Toru to break through the second layer of the genjutsu. It means that there’s a single layer left, because three is the maximum number of layers Izuna can create in a brief second. It’s the most subtle layer—and it’ll hopefully remain long enough that it’ll let Izuna win. Except, Toru’s clearly caught onto the layers of genjutsu as his chakra flares and breaks the final one.</p><p>For a moment, they both pause, surveying each other. Then, breathing in, Izuna feels his lungs fill and his chakra settles in the back of his throat, almost burning. The hand seals he goes through are ones he knows intimately, and then he’s spitting out a fireball at Toru. It’s one of his better ones, half his size and swift, even without any natural wind strengthening it, <em>(he’s killed many with this jutsu)</em>.</p><p>His opponent doesn’t pause, doesn’t hesitate, <em>(and Izuna wonders if he even knows how)</em>, just speeds through his own hand seals. A wall of earth rises, hard and solid and out of nowhere.</p><p>Izuna almost freezes, <em>(but you can’t freeze in battle, that can and will kill you)</em>, in surprise because there are so few Uchihas who don’t use fire ninjutsu, but the <em>thunk</em> of the kunai he’d hidden in the fireball brings him back to the present.</p><p>He’d only paused for a bare second, but when he takes in the whole wall, he notices two Torus standing on top of it. <em>A genjutsu, surely,</em> he thinks to himself, sending a surge of chakra through his Sharingan to disperse the genjutsu. That’s when he notices that both Torus only have a thin veneer of chakra—<em>clones</em>.</p><p>The moment of focussing on the clones costs him, however, as Toru appears from behind him, <em>(and Izuna has no idea how he got there or when). </em>He darts low, but Izuna refuses to lose. The warm-up might have been over quickly, but Izuna won’t let this fight be over so quickly. His, <em>(Togakushi’s)</em>, katana is sitting on his back. He unsheathes it in one quick moment, sends Toru’s kunai flying as the other has to hastily move so he can avoid a blow that would take off fingers otherwise.</p><p>Izuna presses on the advantage, narrowed eyes and chakra giving his arms more strength than they would normally have. Most people would retreat, take a moment to gather themselves and continue, but Toru doesn’t.</p><p>
  <em>(Izuna’s beginning to wonder whether Toru even knows the meaning of retreat.)</em>
</p><p>Still, Toru can’t keep it up forever, and he eventually moves—slipping sideways, body seeming to blur with the surrounding colours, and it’s strange. It’s nothing like Izuna has ever seen before, but the chakra surrounding Toru marks it as a jutsu of some kind. And not a genjutsu. But Izuna’s used to fighting with jutsus he’s never seen before being thrown his way. So he adapts, uses the moment of space to take a breath and launch a fire jutsu at Toru.</p><p>This time Toru can’t stop it and doesn’t have enough time to call up his earth wall. For a heartbeat, Izuna is worried, but then Toru leaps upward, swaps with a nearby branch and disappears from Izuna’s field of vision.</p><p>Not that that can stop Izuna. He might not have a fantastic sensory range, but he can actively sense nearby chakra signatures when he tries—and he’s trying right now. He sends a brace of kunai flying at Toru’s position on a tree branch, then charges forward before Toru can charge at him, <em>(and he’s starting to get an idea of how Toru fights now)</em>.</p><p>Except, he’s forced to pull up short when another jutsu comes at him—this one is a fire ninjutsu that Izuna knows, <em>(but then how did Toru use the earth ninjutsu earlier?)</em>. The fire moves rapidly to circle him and then a spider made of fire comes scuttling at him. Izuna’s faced this jutsu before in a spar, so he throws himself upwards and throws a kunai, aiming at the one weak spot of the spider. The spider explodes, fire lashing outwards, and disrupting the rest of the jutsu and breaking it. The added benefit is that it sends Toru out from where he’d been positioned and into the main part of the ground—and directly below Izuna.</p><p>He sends a fireball downwards, follows it up with a flame bullet, then swaps with a nearby rock behind Toru. He lands, rolls, takes the single stride necessary to be right behind Toru. But the other’s already dealt with the fire ninjutsus, Izuna didn’t see how, <em>(but he wants to know, because that had been in the one blink he’d swapped positions)</em>, and has twisted, body at an awkward angle.</p><p>Izuna goes to place a death blow, before a leg hits his and sends him stumbling off balance. Now he’s the one forced to twist, trying to avoid Toru’s swift attack, and his Sharingan warns him of a genjutsu that slides off his skin before fracturing. A clone superimposes on top of Toru, steps forward and almost into Izuna. It feels weird, chakra pressing almost against his skin and, for a second, all he can see is Toru’s chakra clone.</p><p>The second passes and Izuna feels the cool kiss of a blade against his throat. There’s a tense moment when he wonders whether Toru will back down as he taps twice against Toru’s arm. Then, Toru breathes out shakily and steps back, holstering his weapon. There’s no smile on his face, no pride in his achievement, <em>(and Izuna knows how winning a spar against him could raise Toru up in the eyes of their family, and yet-), </em>just that same expression. “Will you leave me alone now?” He asks quietly.</p><p>
  <em>(And Izuna has only ever thought about how to save his kin on the battlefield. He never thought about saving them from themselves.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(How do you save someone who doesn’t want to be saved?)</em>
</p><p>He doesn’t quite know how to answer Toru’s question, because he doesn’t want to leave the boy alone. But he also has the feeling that pushing Toru now will end badly. So, instead, he inclines his head and steps backward, increasing the distance between them. “Thank you for the spar.” Toru meets his eyes, nods once, and then leaves without looking back.</p><p>
  <em>(When Izuna goes home, he will be told off for wasting time on a frivolous task and forbidden from wasting more time on the six-year-old, unless it’s for a mission or on the battlefield. Izuna wants to rage about it, because their father—their Clan Head—is treating Toru like he’s expendable. But he isn’t. None of them are. But Madara shakes his head and Izuna doesn’t say anything. Just swallows the words down and chokes on them.)</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>A week later, a mission comes to Izuna, given by his father. He bows his head, murmurs his acknowledgement, and quickly starts to pack. Madara finds him just as sheathes katana. He doesn’t say anything, just hands over another brace of kunai, which Izuna doesn’t technically need. Besides, the intelligence accompanying the mission scroll indicates minimal, if any, resistance, meaning Izuna’s unlikely to get in any trouble. Madara, on the other hand, will be on the frontline until he gets back. Probably. So he takes half the brace and hands the rest back. Madara frowns, but doesn’t say anything, simply taking the weapons.</p><p>Izuna fiddles with his sheathe, makes sure it sits properly on his shoulder. He hesitates on the threshold of the household. Spinning around, he tugs Madara into a hug, buries his head in his brother’s shoulder. Madara runs a hand through his hair, before resting it on the nape of his neck. “Come back to me,” he says quietly. “No matter what, come back to me.”</p><p>Swallowing, Izuna struggles to find his voice. “I will,” he promises. Then he steps back and departs without saying another word.</p><p>His mission partners are already at the gate, two ninjas in their twenties—and Toru. Toru scowls at him, eyes narrowed, a sharp pointed look that says everything he doesn’t say aloud.</p><p>Technically, Izuna isn’t to blame for this. The Clan Head gives out the missions, decides who receives what, not Izuna. But it’s unlikely Toru is normally send on missions like this one that were of a higher stake since it was out of Hi no Kuni, especially with no one to advocate for him. He’s not in a position to advocate for Toru, not really, <em>(and his father certainly wouldn’t want to hear it)</em>, but Madara had added Toru’s name to the list. Izuna hadn’t even asked him to.</p><p>
  <em>(They’re both angry about the children on the battlefield, but they can’t do much. They’re too young and inexperienced to have a say, so instead they’re stuck mourning the lost childhoods of those around them, thinking about the child hunters and hunts that the clan goes on, stuck grieving the brothers they no longer have.)</em>
</p><p>He hands the mission scroll to the most experienced ninja of the group. They activate their Sharingan, read the scroll quickly, and then passes the scroll on. The next ninja does the same before passing it along to Toru. The youngest ninja takes longer to read the scroll and retain the knowledge, <em>(and Izuna considers how the protocol for important missions is made easier with the Sharingan)</em>, before burning it.</p><p>“We’ve been given a mission Cha no Kuni to clear out a smuggling cache,” the mission leader says, who’s also the oldest person on the mission. “It should be relatively easy. If any information can be found, it should be taken and returned to the capital where it will be returned to the client. Any products should be destroyed. I’ll take point, Izuna-sama and Toru-kun will take left and right respectively. You’ve got back then,” they add, meeting the other adult’s eyes who nods in response. And then they’re off, heading south towards Cha no Kuni.</p>
<hr/><p>The mission starts off well. They make it to Cha no Kuni and then to the smuggling cache itself. Everything went wrong shortly following that. The first issue they encounter is that the smuggling cache is guarded by <em>ninjas</em>. The only good news is that they’re not a clan from Hi no Kuni, which makes things easier. The second issue is that some of the smuggled goods include explosions and the ninjas are all too happy to use them.</p><p>The mission leader doesn’t give them the order to retreat and Izuna may be one of the Uchiha heirs, but he’s not the mission leader. He could force the others to listen to him, but there’d be massive ramifications.</p><p>Izuna finds he regrets not deciding that it was too dangerous to engage with an unknown clan when they’re two ninjas down and the only thing he can hear is ringing in his ears.</p><p>Somehow, against the odds, Toru sticks with him, eyes wide but not scared, <em>(he never seems scared, just tired and angry and grieving, Izuna realises)</em>. Rather than head down the mountain like the pursuers might expect, <em>(because they’re being hunted)</em>, they head up, winding their way up rocks and craggy cliffs.</p><p>It’s been four hours of rushing upwards, not knowing where their chasers are, before they finally take a break. Izuna’s technically mission leader, but their decisions are unanimous and not much has been done yet. They stop by a small trickle of a creek, drinking the crystal-clear water with their hands.</p><p>His ears have stopped ringing, he notices, as he sits back to rest on his haunches and goes through a checklist for injuries. He’s come out fine, a bit battered, but nothing bleeding or broken.</p><p>“You good?” He asks Toru because Izuna has to make sure Toru gets home. Toru’s an Uchiha and that means they go home together, <em>(and Izuna has the worst feeling that going home without Toru means that he won’t actually go home at all)</em>.</p><p>
  <em>(He can’t die on his brother. He promised. Madara’s already lost brothers, he can’t lose his last one Izuna knows. But more than that, Madara put Toru’s name down. If Toru dies, Madara’s likely to blame himself and Izuna knows his brother.)</em>
</p><p>Toru looks up from where he’s washing a cut on his arm in the creek. “Yeah,” he says, and he doesn’t sound tired for once—just alert and ready, <em>(a shinobi, Izuna’s mind says, like he doesn’t already know that, but this…)</em>.</p><p>
  <em>(Izuna had seen it on the battlefield. Toru isn’t doing his best to stay alive. He’s pushing himself to the point of exhaustion, and maybe that’s because of the constant fighting and the fact that there’s no one looking out for him. But Toru’s family is dead Izuna knows now, so maybe he pushes himself because of the grief that surrounds him and never leaves him <strike>and just tries to down him because there’s no escape</strike>. Izuna has the awful feeling that Toru’s been silently screaming for years but no one’s heard him. And so Toru just throws himself forward and protects his family <strike>because he’s just one more body on the frontlines so he might as well</strike>.)</em>
</p><p>“Do you want me to wrap that?” He asks as the cut looks deep and long.</p><p>Toru glances at him as he lifts his arm out of the creek, sending rivulets of blood and water down his arm. Pauses and seems to consider him, before shrugging like it doesn’t really matter. Swallowing down a thought, <em>(he already knows Toru doesn’t care to live<strike> but he has no way of knowing that Toru doesn’t care because there’s no one left to mourn him and maybe when he dies this time, he’ll finally be able to rest</strike>), </em>Izuna stands and pulls out a bandage, carefully wrapping it around the cut. It probably needs stitches, but he doesn’t have the supplies out here to do it, <em>(a mission with four ninjas that occurs in the opposite direction of the majority of Hi no Kuni’s clans shouldn’t require much first aid gear, so they’d left most behind because the clan needs it more)</em>.</p><p>When he’s done, Toru doesn’t thank him, but he doesn’t shift away either, just remains still. Almost like he doesn’t know what to do with human contact or how to reciprocate, <em>(it’s just sad and says all too much about what Toru’s life’s been like)</em>. “We should continue heading up,” Toru says, once another ten minutes have passed, and he heaves himself to his feet. “My chakra levels are still good.”</p><p>Izuna’s not a sensor but he’s fairly certain that Toru threw a chakra-heavy ninjutsu at their enemies and the younger kid doesn’t have that much chakra to spare. But-</p><p>But there’s no other option. They have to keep going. A half an hour rest is more than Izuna thought they’d get anyway. “Let’s move,” he agrees, and then they’re heading up and scrambling across open rocky areas and through forests that seem bent over from the force of the wind.</p><p>He’s just starting to feel the mountain chill when there’s a chakra surge from behind them. There’s a thin layer of snow in the ground, but not enough to cause any problems, yet it had slowed them down. Izuna doesn’t bother cursing as he picks up the pace, speeding up through the snow and over fallen logs and stupid rock piles, Toru keeping pace by his side.</p><p>Without a word, they split, heading in opposite directions, and a rock spear slams into the ground where they had been. Izuna doesn’t bother trying to head upwards, instead heading towards the enemy-nin. Only one, thankfully. His Sharingan flickers to life but he avoids using any ninjutsu, knowing that he needs to conserve his strength. He dodges another stone spear, and then a boulder, before he’s close enough for the enemy-nin to meet his gaze. They do it and he pulls them into a genjutsu.</p><p>There’s no point layering it, it’s just a distraction, and as the enemy-nin breaks out of it, Toru leaps forward, feet slamming into the enemy-nin’s back. A second later, he cuts their neck with a kunai. But their fight had been far from quiet and there’s more enemies approaching that Izuna can see, so they don’t celebrate their win, just hurtle further up the mountain.</p><p>They can’t run forever though. Izuna knows that and Toru knows it. And there’s only so much of the mountain they can run, especially as they don’t want to head further into Cha no Kuni.</p><p>
  <em>(And Toru’s started getting paler and paler as time passes, and Izuna’s starting to think it isn’t just the chill either. Not when the other feels like a furnace beside him with the fire chakra he’s using to increase his temperature.)</em>
</p><p>“We need to head down,” Izuna says, when they pause for a few minutes to scoff down ration bars. “We can’t keep going up.” The snow’s now thick enough that it comes up to Izuna’s waist when he forgets to use chakra for a moment. As a result, his legs are freezing from the frost clinging to the clothing. It could be worse though, <em>(he forces himself to cling to the sentiment while not thinking about how it can get worse)</em>.</p><p>Toru nods. “Gotta get past the enemy-nins,” he points out. “We don’t know their numbers and we can’t sneak past them so they’ve probably got a sensor or two.”</p><p>There’s a flare of chakra behind them. They’ve been found. “Fuck,” Izuna says, getting to his feet. A beat later, Toru gets up, almost wavering on his feet, and Izuna frowns at him.</p><p>“We need to keep moving,” Toru says in response and they head off again, chakra fuelling their movements.</p><p>In the end, though, they’re kids and their enemies are adults who aren’t exhausted. They’re cornered with a cliff at their backs, too open to dare trying to head up with their pursuers right on their heels.</p><p>There’s five of them, <em>(and that means there’s been at least ten enemy-nins they’ve encountered so far)</em>. Not the best odds Izuna’s ever had. The only bright side is that they have the cliff at their backs so they can’t be surrounded completely. His Sharingan whirls and the fight begins.</p><p>It’s easy to fall into the rhythm of it. Throw out one jutsu after another. Together, he and Toru try to keep their enemies at bay, but they’re weaker and without help. Not to mention, it’s completely the wrong environment for fire ninjutsu and none of their opponents will meet Izuna’s eyes which is infuriating.</p><p>He almost thinks they might make it through this when one of the ninjas throws something at them. It’s round and he automatically throws a kunai, <em>(two left, use them well)</em>, at it. Everything goes white and he’s sent flying into the cliff from the noise and air as the explosive goes off.</p><p>His eyes are burning and there’s a ringing in his ears and the ground’s shaking below him. A hand clamps around his wrist and he’s tugged backwards. It’s Toru. He knows it’s Toru, <em>(such a small hand, skin and bones and scars)</em>, and he waits to hit the cliff but there’s nothing in front of him and suddenly he’s stumbling forward on rocky ground with no snow below his feet.</p><p>It’s cold and he can’t see anything and everything hurts. He feels like he’s on fire, <em>(and he’d know what that feels like too)</em>. Then the hand around his wrist is gone and he swings around wildly, trying to feel Toru because he’s vulnerable like this and they can’t be separated and-</p><p>
  <em>
    <strike>(And Togakushi is dead and Kuro is dead and Kou is dead.)</strike>
  </em>
</p><p>There are hands resting against his arms again, tapping something and Izuna forces his heartbeat to calm and pay attention. It’s one word repeated, over and over again. <em>Safe</em>. They remain like that for at least ten minutes, and eventually Izuna’s hearing returns to him.</p><p>“You with me?” Toru asks, somehow noticing the change.</p><p>Izuna swallows. “I can hear again,” he says. “What happened? There was an explosive and then-”</p><p>“Avalanche started,” Toru explains. “I’ve pulled us into the cliff with an earth ninjutsu but I don’t think we should stay here for long.”</p><p>“Your chakra?” Izuna asks, opening his eyes slowly and realising that he can see their surroundings due to the dim light from Toru’s handful of fire.</p><p>Toru shrugs, which isn’t an answer and is in the same way. There’s nothing either of them can do about it, so Izuna just frowns. “We can head out now then,” he says instead. “Did you get injured?”</p><p>“Nothing major,” Toru answers. He pauses, as if considering what to reveal, <em>(you can trust me, Izuna wants to scream, I won’t use this against you, let me help you)</em>. “I think they use poison though. The enemy-nins.”</p><p>Horror is rising in Izuna’s throat as he quickly unravels the bandages around Toru’s cut without even telling the other boy, who flinches, but doesn’t pull away, <em>(he’s pale but Izuna had thought it was the cold or the shadows or the snow—but what if it’s not?)</em>. The cut’s bleeding sluggishly and the edges are black and there’s dark lines snaking away from it.</p><p>“Fuck,” he says because there’s nothing they can do. “We need to get home.”</p><p>“I’d be a good distraction so you can get home,” Toru offers. “You’re an heir, you need to get back.”</p><p>“Not without you,” Izuna says fiercely, desperation and hope entangled in his chest. “We go together.”</p><p>
  <em>(He will not leave his <strike>brother</strike> clan members behind. Not if he can help it.)</em>
</p><p>For a moment, Toru looks like he’s going to resist, before he stumbles to his feet. The signs of poison are obvious there and running won’t help, <em>(and Izuna doesn’t know what to do and Madara isn’t here to help him and-)</em>. “Anchor a genjutsu to us so we blend in,” Toru says. “They might not be looking for us right now.”</p><p>It’s not a type of genjutsu that Izuna’s used often, but he can do it, <em>(it’s a genius idea and not one Izuna would have thought of and… he knows there’s a reason why Toru’s out on the battlefield so young and survived)</em>. The genjutsu sits coolly against his skin as they slowly move down the mountain.</p><p>For the first time since they arrived in Cha no Kuni, it seems that luck is on their side, as they make it safely out of the snow and further down the mountain. Izuna’s trailing behind Toru, so he can ensure he goes at the pace the other boy sets. It’s only when they’re four klicks from the smuggling cache he realises that Toru is heading towards it rather than back home.</p><p>“What are you doing?” He hisses.</p><p>“We have to complete the mission,” Toru says back. “We don’t complete the mission and then we don’t get paid. <em>I</em> need the money and so does the clan. Besides, if we fail this mission that looks bad on the clan especially with who the client is.”</p><p>Izuna’s an heir to the Uchiha Clan, but he didn’t actually pay much attention to the client for the mission. He doesn’t know anything about politics in the capital simply because they don’t get news often enough for it to matter unless they’re going to the capital.</p><p>
  <em>(And his father says that Madara will learn about politics first whilst Izuna learns how to look after the clan since Madara’s going to be Clan Head <strike>unless he dies</strike>.)</em>
</p><p>“The client?”</p><p>“A noble from the capital, family of one of the Daimyō’s advisors. Could definitely put a bad word in for us. But more than that, he owns a massive business dealing with ores and metals to sell. Stuff that’s vitally important to the Uchiha Clan. We depend on them for a great deal of trade to make weapons and we often sell items back to earn more money for our coffers.”</p><p>Now that Izuna thinks about it, the noble’s name did sound familiar. Still, it’s strange that Toru knows this. “How do you know all this?”</p><p>“Easy way to make money is to help the messengers,” he says. “An’ you can often receive a cheap mission to write down stuff for others so they don’t have to. Not sure if it’s official though.”</p><p>That makes Izuna feel slightly better at not knowing—but Toru remembered all that information even without the Sharingan. It makes him feel like a rather cheap trick. “You’re poisoned and I can’t defeat the whole smuggling cache by myself.”</p><p>“We just need to set off the explosions,” Toru says. “After that, everything will take care of itself.”</p><p>Izuna considers it. There’s no way that both of them are going to get in and avoid the enemy-nins, which means someone is going to have to act as a distraction, <em>(and Toru’s pale and shaky and poisoned)</em>. “Can you set off the explosions?” He asks. He doesn’t wonder whether Toru overestimates his skills, they can’t afford to, <em>(not as children on the battlefield)</em>.</p><p>The silence stretches as Toru thinks and seems to test something, chakra shifting beside Izuna. “I’ll manage,” he says at last. “But depending on the resistance I encounter; I might not be useful after.”</p><p>
  <em>(There’s no mention of the poison. They’re both all too aware of the clock ticking down in their heads.)</em>
</p><p>He breathes out, measured, forces himself to keep going. “That’s okay. Let’s complete the mission. We’ll meet at the place agreed earlier.” A forest that they’d agreed on back when the whole team had still been alive.</p><p>“Got it,” Toru says and then he’s ghosting off. Izuna gives him at least ten minutes before racing off, chakra flaring, and preparing to cause chaos, <em>(he only hopes that they both meet up again afterwards)</em>.</p>
<hr/><p>Izuna gets there first. He waits. Then waits some more. Starts wondering if Toru died—but he’d heard the explosion. It felt like the whole mountain had shaken with it, but the snow hadn’t come racing down this time, hadn’t come to swallow him whole. Toru had to be alive.</p><p>
  <em>(What’s another Uchiha’s blood on his hands? They already number in the hundreds.)</em>
</p><p>A snapped twig has Izuna getting to his feet, alert and ready, but it’s Toru who comes stumbling out of the bushes. And kami, he looks bad. The poison’s clearly taken his toll because the younger boy looks feverish. There’s also bandages wrapped around his thigh, already dark with blood. Izuna doesn’t know how he’s walking, <em>(except he does; he’s seen the battle-dead walk, only to die when they make it home—sometimes that’s all you can do, get home and die)</em>.</p><p>He doesn’t say any of that. He can’t do anything, so he just pulls himself together, <em>(can’t fall apart yet, can’t die, can’t leave Madara alone; got to return home)</em>. “There’s still some enemies chasing us,” he says, <em>(and it’s personal now, not just for the mission—they’ve killed enough to make this a proper ninja hunt)</em>.</p><p>Toru grins, bloodied teeth showing, <em>(it looks more like a grimace than anything else)</em>. “We gotta move,” he says.</p><p>“You’re not getting down the mountain like this,” Izuna says and it’s true. “I need to rest as well. We need a good hiding spot to figure out what to do. There’s a cave nearby. Heads underground. We should be safe there. Too small for adults.”</p><p>Toru nods and follows Izuna. They’ve got a few hours until sundown—which is the best time to make their escape probably. Izuna, at least, can see better in the darkness than other ninjas. It’ll be enough to rest and hopefully Toru won’t get worse, <em>(Izuna knows Toru will, he just hopes that Toru can still get home)</em>.</p><p>They have to squeeze through a small crack one at a time to drop into the cave. It’s a short fall and Izuna lands gently. Toru doesn’t. He lands, almost falls, and <em>fuck</em>, Izuna’s certain that the other boy, <em>(he’s only six!)</em>, will die here. Far from home. Without the sun able to watch him.</p><p>“I’ll live,” Toru says and Izuna swallows. Doesn’t respond, <em>(<strike>if you could live on hope and willpower alone Izuna’s brothers would still be alive</strike>)</em>. “Plan for after?”</p><p>There’s one thing that Uchihas know better than anyone else. One thing that they usually use as a last resort because it can end badly. This feels like the kind of situation for it. “Burn the mountain down,” he says, forcing a grin to his lips.</p><p>“You can’t just burn everything down!” Toru protests, half-dead and probably dying, <em>(and Izuna’s starting to push past the fear and exhaustion and onto rage)</em>.</p><p>“Fucking watch me,” Izuna says, <em>(and he can already feel the embers flicking past his skin, ash raining down from above)</em>. “We’ll be able to escape and they’ll be stuck dealing with a forest fire.”</p><p>Toru shifts, a wince crossing his face, and says, “Not a bad plan. Stupid.” Pauses and frowns. “I’ll sleep for a few hours then be able to run. We get home.”</p><p>The other boy doesn’t care as Izuna manhandles him so that he’s resting in Izuna’s lap. “Sleep,” he says, swallowing, <em>(remember to wake up, he wants to say)</em>. “I’ll keep watch.”</p><p>Toru breathes out. “‘Kay. You’re a goo’ kid,” he says, words muffled as he yawns. “Safe.” He seems to drop off quickly and Izuna listens to his breathing. It’s not weak, still strong. He’s not sure how, but the poison seems to be a lingering one, one that takes and takes and takes—gives you time to get away, <em>(and get out and get to safety, with any luck)</em>.</p><p>There’s anger in Izuna’s chest. Fiery and hot. It’s sharp and burning, <em>(and Madara’s anger is a burst of flame, quick to rouse and quick to die out; Izuna’s is not like that—it burns and burns and burns and never stops taking)</em>, a forest fire in the making. He’s angry, the kind of anger that follows grief. His clanmates are dead and Toru might be dying.</p><p>
  <em>(They’ve completed the mission, but at what cost?)</em>
</p><p>The hours pass slowly and Toru keeps breathing evenly the whole time. The burning in his chest doesn’t abate, but it’s less important, when Toru flinches and seems to curl in on himself. He’s quiet, doesn’t make a sound, just looks small and worn and plagued by terrors even asleep.</p><p>Eventually, <em>(too soon and yet too long)</em>, Izuna wakes Toru with a quiet touch to the shoulder and a call of his name. Toru snaps awake, still and wary—but lucid. They head down the mountain slowly, scurrying from one piece of cover to the next. Their luck lasts for an hour, during which they make good time, and then they’re found.</p><p>The fight ends quickly because Izuna doesn’t care for collateral damage and Toru goes for the throat without ever hesitating. The forest begins to burn.</p><p>Now’s no longer the time for stealth, and they take off at break-neck pace, fleeing through the forest and going down and down and down. Around them, tongues of flame jump from tree to tree, consuming any source of life in its path. The smoke tries to smother them but Toru keeps it at bay with a wind ninjutsu. Ash begins to fall from the sky and the heat beats at them, makes them sweat. But they’re not followed.</p><p> <em>They’re not followed</em>.</p><p>They leave Cha no Kuni with a cloud of smoke behind them, the mission completed, and down two ninjas. They leave alive, against the odds, and maybe Toru’s poisoned and pale and almost stumbling. But he’s still alive and <em>they will make it home!</em></p><p>
  <em>(Izuna will allow nothing less.)</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Madara meets them on the edge of the Uchiha Clan’s territory, a border patrol accompanying him, <em>(or, far more likely Izuna knows, Madara got himself onto the patrol just to meet Izuna on his way home)</em>. He looks almost frantic to Izuna’s eye, tension creasing his forehead, mouth tilting downwards, but most people probably won’t see it.</p><p>“Anyone got a universal antidote?” Izuna asks, tightening his grip around Toru’s waist. The younger boy has an arm looped over his shoulders to keep him upright. He’d been leaning heavily against Izuna earlier, but with the patrol in their sights, he’s stopped.</p><p>
  <em>(And it galls Izuna to think how Toru feels the need to appear strong to the rest of the Uchiha. They’re family. They should be safe.)</em>
</p><p>Madara’s eyes flash red with the Sharingan. “Not me,” Izuna hastens to add. “Toru was poisoned a while back. Not certain it’s lethal, but he’s not in good condition. Not then and not now.”</p><p>There’s an almost-flicker of Madara’s chakra and Izuna internally winces. Referring to Toru so informally says many things that Izuna didn’t particularly want to reveal—not without Toru’s own opinion that is. It’s not uncommon to leave on a mission and come back more friendly with your teammates, but Madara had seen the way Toru had spat sparks at them,<em> (and had heard Izuna rave about their spar and what had happened in the market)</em>.</p><p>One of the patrol members steps forward and Izuna takes the universal antidote from their hand, passing it on to Toru, who takes it with a grimace. His hands aren’t shaking, <em>(too good of a ninja for that Izuna reckons)</em>, but there’s a small hesitation before he injects himself with the antidote. The needle is burnt with a brief burst of fire chakra.</p><p>Toru takes a step forward, away from Izuna’s help, and doesn’t stumble. Izuna narrows his eyes. He’s fairly certain that it’s sheer willpower holding Toru up. “I’ll see you soon,” Izuna says to Madara, before he follows Toru as the other shinobi blurs forward in speed. Their pace doesn’t quite drop when they’re out of sight of the patrol, but Toru’s movements become less graceful.</p><p>Nevertheless, they make it home safely and Izuna ensures Toru goes to the healers before going to report to his father. The mission was a success but they lost two of their members. Their families have to be told. Rituals completed.</p><p>
  <em>(But they came back alive, and that had been more than Izuna had hoped for when they were being hunted and with Toru dying.)</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So! We're at the end of the first chapter, what do people think, hmm? </p><p>In regards to Madara and Izuna's unnamed brothers, in this piece they were named Kou, Togakushi, and Kuro. Kou was the oldest and also the last to die outside of Madara and Izuna. Kuro was the third son (Madara being the second) and was assassinated, though it's not known by who, when he was like a year old or something. Togakushi was killed by Senju during a mission. The names themselves are from mountains, I believe? Someone (Silver) shared an awesome source about Izuna and Madara's names and then took a guess at the rest of the Uchiha brothers. </p><p>Okay, so I mentioned lower families briefly. This is more based on the idea that not all Uchihas get the Sharingan and those who don't aren't as good ninja-wise. I could go into more detail here but, honestly, I do not feel like I want to today. So, we're moving on.</p><p>Izuna appears surprised by Toru's use of earth ninjutsu as well as other elemental ninjutsu. I'm following the idea that the Uchiha Clan largely believes it's almost impossible to use chakra affinities that aren't yours - or like your opposite or something? They usually focus on fire and lightning and Toru doesn't have the Sharingan either, so it doesn't make sense he knows how to use other ninjutsu. It's vaguely occurred to me this doesn't make much sense but the clock is ticking down so I am, once again, moving on.</p><p>I'm also really sorry about chapter lengths, they're likely to be all over the place as I'm basing this more by arcs and I kinda wrote it as one massive long thing rather than splitting it ahead of time. But! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Things get better, I swear. Eventually.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"That middle bit" as I like to call it.</p>
<p>OR: The part that comes before everything starts to happen but after the beginning. Wherein we get to see our faves grow and age and live (and laugh and cry).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Izuna is nine-years-old; Toru is seven-years-old</strong>
</p>
<p>This world has normalised child soldiers, has normalised early deaths, and every day you make it out alive is something to celebrate. However, for Toru, it’s never really been something to celebrate. He’d made it through day after day with no purpose but to throw himself forward into whatever battle the Clan Head directs him at.</p>
<p>Somewhere along the way that begins to change.</p>
<p>
  <em>(It’s Izuna’s fault, Toru will think much later, and the thought will be kind</em>
  <em>.)</em>
</p>
<p>They had relied heavily on one another during that mission, <em>(the first time they’d worked together outside of the continuous clan wars)</em>. And maybe it would’ve meant nothing if they were anyone else but who they were. If Izuna was less persistent. If Toru was less lonely. In the end, though, none of that matters. They are who they are and that shapes their lives.</p>
<p>It’s also how Toru finds himself, a year later, spending time with Izuna even out of missions. Sometimes Madara is there and sometimes he isn’t. And Toru knows, though it’s not been said aloud, that the Clan Head has likely encouraged, <em>(demanded)</em>, Izuna and Madara to stay away from him. After all, Toru doesn’t have the Sharingan, is strange even as an Uchiha, <em>(he who rarely wields fire, who avoided family when comfort was offered following his parents’ deaths)</em>. He has nothing to offer the Uchiha but another solider.</p>
<p>Except Toru is more than that. He knows it, and so do Izuna and Madara. And so they spend time together, normally out of sight and away from where most would think to look for them. They spend afternoons sparring and training and laughing, talking and spending time together.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Even before this, Madara knew what he wanted. He wanted a world where all his brothers were alive and smiled because they wanted to, not just when they were covered with blood and a battle won. That world is no longer a possibility. Three of his brothers have had their lives stolen from them, far too early. Where there should have been five, there’s only two. And now Madara would do anything to have his only brother stay alive and remain smiling.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(Izuna loved Madara, a love that consumed everything he was and never went out. But now Izuna is coming to love Toru, especially as the younger boy becomes more confident to smile, trusts them enough to laugh in their company. It’s only now that this has become to mean something more. Only now has Izuna started questioning the constant fighting, wondering whether it’s the best for the clan when the only thing it seems to do is increase the number of graves.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is ten-years-old. Toru is eight-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p>Izuna is livid enough to be spitting sparks. His chakra burns beneath his skin, chaotic and fierce. Spinning on his heel, he continues his pacing, feeling each step press further into the ground, the grass having turned to mud beneath his feet. Madara is elsewhere—far away, if he knows what’s good for him.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He loves his brother, fiercely and without reserve, and this does not feel like betrayal—but something deep within Izuna has fractured and he doesn’t know how to glue the pieces back together.)</em>
</p>
<p>Just as he’s turning to continue his pacing, Toru comes skidding around the corner, eyes wild and looking panicked—a far cry from how Izuna always sees him. Even in the midst of battle, Toru never appears unnerved.</p>
<p>“You’re alright?” Toru asks, straight away, standing in front of Izuna’s face and demanding an answer. His hands open and close by his side, like he’s just avoiding grabbing onto Izuna.</p>
<p>Izuna… doesn’t soften, but Toru in front of him is almost afraid and that cannot stand. “I’m alive and uninjured,” he says. “What did you hear?” Because Toru clearly heard something.</p>
<p>The other Uchiha steps back, draws away, <em>(stiffens, like he has something to be ashamed to be—like caring is a mistake, and this is a step backward but Izuna refuses to let things be)</em>, and shrugs, half-hearted, eyes darting to look away from Izuna. “People said the Clan Head family fought with the Senju Clan in a small party. And people have been saying that you and Madara are fighting. And you never fight.”</p>
<p>
  <em>(Sometimes Izuna forgets that Toru is young, even if he has fought on the warfront. But, looking at Toru now, with his wide eyes and uncertainty, it’s hard to think anything else except that Toru’s a child.)</em>
</p>
<p>Toru’s right on all accounts. A small Uchiha party fought the Senju Clan. Madara and him are fighting, although they never do, not in a way that incites rumours.</p>
<p>“You’re not wrong,” Izuna says, and it’s only now he feels his rage start to take a turn towards exhaustion. The armour plates now sit heavily on his shoulders, pressing uncomfortably against his shoulders. Heedless of the muddy ground, Izuna suddenly wants them off with reckless abandon. He tries to undo the buckles, fingers slipping on them, but they won’t undo!</p>
<p>Then, Toru bats his hands away, awfully close without warning, and carefully works the buckles undone. Izuna’s hands drop by his sides and, for the first time since the fight, he’s still. Toru nudges him into turning, undoes the other buckles, and slides the pieces off one by one, piling them up by their feet.</p>
<p>“You’re uninjured?” Toru asks, the tone not quite an order but it feels like one to Izuna.</p>
<p>“Uninjured,” Izuna says, dipping his head. Here, with Toru and missing Madara and hating Madara and twisted inside, Izuna lets himself finally explain what had happened. “Madara’s been meeting with the Senju Heir,” he says, voice stiff rather than monotone, not quite the mission report he wanted, <em>(but this is Toru and so Izuna doesn’t have to be objective)</em>. “A number of times. I reported in where Madara had gone and who he was meeting, but I didn’t realise.”</p>
<p>Silence fills the world. Izuna doesn’t know how to get the words out, rage rising in his throat and he chokes on it.</p>
<p>“You told the Clan Head,” Toru says, following the tale even though he doesn’t know all the details. “And a war party of Uchiha went down to the river the next time Madara went. But… the Senju Clan did the same?”</p>
<p>Izuna nods. “The Senju Clan Head was there, along with the other Heir. We fought but-” He laughs, wild and chaotic and does his best not to sob. “Madara chose us. Of course he did—but he said that the Senju Heir was <em>stronger</em> than him. Which is stupid! They’d likely fight on the same level, you know what Madara’s like, always wanting to be stronger—though it seems like the Senju Heir has the same drive.”</p>
<p>
  <em>(Izuna hates the Senju Heirs. A bone-deep hate that consumes him. He doesn’t know how to do anything else but hate them. It’s so, so easy. Those child-murderers, child-hunters; they’re responsible for countless deaths. How can he do anything else but hate?)</em>
</p>
<p>“And you’re angry,” Toru says. The words sound so simple coming from Toru and they fail to describe the rage that’s eating him up. “Madara didn’t quite betray you, but he didn’t support you entirely either.”</p>
<p>“He didn’t betray the Uchiha,” Izuna says, almost tripping over his words. Something burns in his chest, in his eyes.</p>
<p>Toru shifts his weight, letting it settle into his heels rather than his toes, <em>(doesn’t let himself feel upset; he should’ve expected this; what right does he have to demand anything)</em>. “That doesn’t mean you can’t feel betrayed anyway,” he points out. “It’s not like emotions are logical.”</p>
<p>“Life would be much easier if they were,” Izuna says, but he can feel the last dredges of his anger start to seep out, leaving only exhaustion in its place. Away from the rest of the world, he lets himself slouch. He finally feels ready to return home and sleep the rest of the day away, recovering.</p>
<p>Then, at last, he sees the way that Toru’s holding himself apart. Unsure. Weight leaning back. And yet he leans towards Izuna, wanting something.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He thinks of Toru’s panic, his wide eyes, his hands opening and closing by his side. ‘You’re uninjured?’ Toru is used to losing people, whether it be in battle or a lingering death afterwards due to an injury. It’s one thing to fight for your own life, it’s another to stand by as someone you love fights without you there.)</em>
</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” He asks, the question almost too late.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Izuna is ten-years-old. He is allowed to make mistakes, though his world does not let many pass without consequences. Izuna is ten, he is allowed to be self-adsorbed, though he tries to avoid behaving that way.)</em>
</p>
<p>Toru tries on a smile. It flickers, weak. “I’m not the one who fought in a battle, am I?” He says, <em>(deflects)</em>. “I’m fine.” His words lack sincerity, and his eyes are still scanning Izuna as if looking for some injury.</p>
<p>It clicks, minutes late, and Izuna steps forward and gently wraps his arms around Toru, pulling him closer. Toru almost seems to fall into him, hands wrapped tightly around Izuna with surprising strength. Closing his eyes, Izuna breathes out and rests his chin on Toru’s hair.</p>
<p>“I’m still here, I swear,” Izuna whispers. “I’m not done yet.” In response, Toru tightens his grip. It says everything Izuna missed, <em>(he’ll never make this mistake again)</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is eleven-years-old. Toru is nine-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p>Unexpectedly, the Clan Head realises that Madara and Izuna are spending time with Toru against orders.</p>
<p>
  <em>(They should’ve expected this.)</em>
</p>
<p>They had been unofficial orders, but that doesn’t make them less important. They still had to be obeyed. It just meant not everyone knew about them.</p>
<p>Word had gotten back to the Clan Head one way or another, <em>(and it’s only now that Toru realises how much he can’t trust those around him; they are not his people nor even Izuna’s or Madara’s—he misses Kakumau, with their trust and hard-won loyalty, misses Tomoe and all the others with all his heart)</em>. As a group, they had tried to be careful. Staggered their appearances in the public eye before disappearing, tried to avoid busy areas, but they’d failed.</p>
<p>
  <em>(How many times does Toru fail and fail and fail? The number’s so high now it must be impossible to count.)</em>
</p>
<p>However, they’ve also come too far now for the Clan Head to put a complete stop to it. Toru has settled into Izuna and Madara’s lives like a burr that’s impossible to move. He will not give them up, no matter the hardships that it might cause. There’s no need to hide it now either as the Clan has seen it—it cannot be forced back into hiding, <em>(because Izuna has fire in his heart and he will let the world burn with his displeasure—not to hurt, but to show how important this is)</em>.</p>
<p>That doesn’t prevent the Clan Head from trying though, forcing Izuna and Madara to spend more time training, <em>(punishment, Toru knows, but the Clan Head still calls it training)</em>. It limits the amount of time they see one another, but there are some positives, <em>(accidental, and positives forcefully taken rather than occurring naturally, but positives nonetheless)</em>.</p>
<p>Due to the extra training, the Uchiha Heirs now got up earlier for breakfast—before the Clan Head, in fact. Before most of the world is up starts to become <em>their</em> time. Toru and Izuna’s that is, occasionally Madara’s as well. Toru has always woken early, <em>(a habit that has carried over in every life he has lived)</em>, and so is awake for breakfast at the same time. So, they’ve taken to eating breakfast together whether it be in Toru’s house or in a training area instead.</p>
<p>It becomes a staple in their life, something to do whenever they find the time. And it’s something that’ll remain as they grow and grow and grow, <em>(and never stop growing as long as they live)</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is twelve-years-old. Toru is ten-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p>Toru hears about it. After. After the battle. And not from Izuna. He hears that Izuna—and Madara—now have the Mangekyō Sharingan, but not from Izuna. It’s not that Toru minds that. He’s certain that Izuna is mourning the loss of someone close, <em>(and if Toru knows anything, it’s grief)</em>.</p>
<p>Like anyone capable of standing, and even some who aren’t, he attends the listing of the updated KIA list. A few days after major battles, the Clan Head will list the names of those now dead. It’s the closest thing this era has to funerals, <em>(there are too many dead to give individual funerals to, but they try; they do their best</em><em>)</em>.</p>
<p>Toru is there when he hears a name he knows, mainly through stories told by Izuna and Madara. A close cousin, he remembers, one who had a heavy hand in bringing the Uchiha heirs up. Alone, Toru stands, and watches as Izuna and Madara lean on one another. Depending on one another, <em>(and he does not wonder why he is alone; he knows grief in many of its forms—sometimes you need people who share it with you, and sometimes you need to be alone)</em>.</p>
<p>All in all, the problem isn’t that Toru learns of Izuna’s grief, and Mangekyō Sharingan, second-hand. The problem is that Izuna and Madara are training more and more underneath their father’s thumb and Toru isn’t even on the sidelines. He’s on the opposite of the compound, <em>(and getting lonelier and lonelier, but there’s nothing he can do)</em>.</p>
<p>And so Toru walks by himself, eats by himself, trains by himself. The loneliness presses against his shoulders, like a weight he can’t carry. He struggles against it, fights to take each step.</p>
<p>One day though, things change. There’s no reason for it. It just comes to Toru, as he eats breakfast alone in his empty house. He’s just going through the motions—but why should he be settling for that?</p>
<p>
  <em>(Someone once taught Toru that you should fight for the people you love. Sometimes people want you in their lives. Toru will never stop missing </em>
  <em>his team, but he hasn’t been doing the things they taught him. They taught him to fight for the people he loves, taught him that he was wanted. They taught him to look after himself.) </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(Izuna reminded him why he wants to live, why he goes out and fights every day. It’s to protect his family, the clan, but it’s more than that too.)</em>
</p>
<p>You fight for everything and everyone you love. Sometimes that’s on the battlefield, sometimes it’s at home. This time, Toru doesn’t wait for Izuna to come find him for breakfast. He goes searching.</p>
<p>
  <em>(You’re not alone, he says. I’m still here. You’re still here. And we keep fighting so others can stay here as well.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is thirteen-years-old. Toru is eleven-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p>Time passes, <em>(time always passes, whether you want it to or not)</em>. Against the odds, Toru remains friends with Izuna and his brother, <em>(it’s not really against the odds—all of them fought for it)</em>. And it’s Toru who’s with Izuna when the anniversary of his cousin’s death rolls around, <em>(and where the Clan Head lauds the anniversary of his sons receiving the Mangekyō Sharingan, forgetting what causes it)</em>.</p>
<p>Izuna, now thirteen, is allowed to drink by clan law. By clan law, Toru is not. But the day has been full of grief and mourning. Toru knows a lot about that. Sometimes the only thing you can do is be there and help. And, in the end, Toru is a ninja—the rule of the law is knowing how to get around the law.</p>
<p>So Toru watches Izuna drink and drink and drink, and gets a bit tipsy himself <em>(he is always in mourning)</em>.</p>
<p>He’s not sure how the conversation starts, but he’s fairly certain Izuna suggests it, <em>(it’s certainly nothing Toru has ever thought about)</em>. Then, with Izuna’s hand loosely wrapped around his wrist, they’re walking—not stumbling—down the street to where an Uchiha tattoo artist lives.</p>
<p>“We won’t get matching tattoos of course,” Izuna explains to Toru with a disgusted expression. “But they’ll be meaningful.” Toru nods, because this seems reasonable. “I’ll- I’ll get a- a star! ‘Cause you’re my northern star.”</p>
<p>Toru sniffs, rubs his eyes, and brushes tears away, <em>(there is <strike>no</strike> shame in crying</em><em>)</em>. Tattoos that don’t match but are meaningful anyway. He likes the sounds of that, likes the invisible words that neither of them have said.</p>
<p>
  <em>(I won’t ever abandon you, they both say without words. I am alive and I will always be here, an image on your skin; and when one of us dies, we will remember because that’s all you can ever do.)</em>
</p>
<p>“What’re you gonna get?” Izuna asks, as they knock on the door.</p>
<p>Toru’s immediate response is to shrug. There’s nothing in his mind that really can encompass everything Izuna means to him. But… He takes a moment to think about it. “A tree,” he says at last, “with leaves,” because leaves mean spring and spring is about renewal, about live, <em>(and Izuna provided him with a reason to live, reminds him to be alive and to do more than just survive)</em>.</p>
<p>For a moment, Izuna’s face becomes something resembling hatred, before it smooths out. “Oh,” he says. “Spring?” Because Toru’s favourite season is spring, and Izuna knows this.</p>
<p>“Life,” Toru agrees and then, because he can’t help it, he smiles at Izuna and says, “Were you thinking of the Senju again?”</p>
<p>Izuna squawks loudly, flailing his arms, just in time for the door to open and they get hustled inside, no questions asked. The conversation is lost—but the memory? That stays, <em>(and it is full of laughter)</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is thirteen-years-old. Toru is eleven-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p>Toru is standing on the porch greeting the sunrise when someone hands him a mission scroll. Back in his bedroom, Izuna is still sleeping having only grumbled and complained when Toru had gotten up. In consideration of the hangover Izuna’s bound to be hosting, Toru had not pushed the other out of bed and had left a glass of water nearby instead.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Toru says, taking the mission scroll. He reads it quickly. It’s not, technically, assigned to him by the Clan Head—it’s too small of a mission to matter that much. But…</p>
<p>But the Clan Head may have given up trying to keep him and Izuna apart, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try to punish Toru, <em>(though he doubts Izuna has realised what the Clan Head’s been doing)</em>.</p>
<p>It’s only a short mission—a courier one, for the most part. For resources. On its own, it sounds easy and would probably only be a C-rank mission in his past lives. But, in this life, all missions are fraught with danger and resources are a hot commodity. If anyone realises what Toru’s carrying, he’ll definitely be in trouble especially as he’s the only one on the mission.</p>
<p>Thankfully, Toru’s appearance often leads to people underestimating him and not expecting him to have anything vitally important, <em>(which is true to a small extent—he may be getting resources, but it’s fabric which is probably the only reason it’s been trusted to him)</em>.</p>
<p>He heads off while the sun is still rising. The trees blur around him as he traces a path that ambles south before twisting east towards the contact. In theory, he’s expected to return to the compound as fast as possible. The mission itself would only take a day, at most, but the tattoos from last night had created an idea in Toru’s mind, not anything he’d thought about before.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Why would he? He’d been a ninja and an infiltrator and a high-profile target. It was far better to not have many identifying figures, but here… Why would it matter here?) </em>
</p>
<p>Roughly forty minutes away from the contact, Toru ducks into a town that’s already awake and full of bustle with morning crowds. Having snagged a piece of paper before leaving, Toru sits outside the town on a branch and sketches a number of different things across the page.</p>
<p>When he’s done, and happy with his drawings, he enters the town. Head down, he shuffles through the crowd, <em>(and only now does it occur to him how strange it might be—because he’s so young and here he’ll be asking for a tattoo; not his best idea that’s for sure)</em>. People glance at him, then look away, <em>(they know he is a ninja; they do not want the bloody business he brings to follow them home)</em>.</p>
<p>The town is rather large—large enough that there’s someone manages to give him some directions after he’s henged into an older version of himself, <em>(two lives ago though, so that this does not come back to the Uchiha)</em>.</p>
<p>“This will take a while,” the tattooist warns. “And it won’t be pleasant.”</p>
<p>“But it’ll be worth it,” Toru says, because he’s certain of that. The tattooist grunts in acknowledgement and then begins.</p>
<p>
  <em>(And, before the day is up, Toru will have more tattoos to join his one; for lives lived and lives left behind. There will be a set of masks, the accumulation of teams that had been family and more—a jackal mask, an ibis mask, a caterpillar mask, a squirrel mask, a bird mask, a turtle mask, and a tiger mask. Masks he will never forget—and now he can’t. They’re grouped together, of course, because they always belong together.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(But these are not the only tattoos he will have. Two animals make their way onto his skin—a fox face in side profile along with a dog. The kids he almost thinks of his own, the ones he watched grow up and keep growing.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(The last tattoo he got was a simple one, a sun rising above the ocean with its reflection in lines. For Uzushio, of course. Uzushio which stands for everything he is, which doesn’t stand anymore—and his Uzushio never will. Some days he almost feels like he can live with that.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is fourteen-years-old. Toru is twelve-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p>Toru chokes the screams down, forces the rage crawling up his throat to go elsewhere. He wants to spit sparks, wants to call upon the ocean’s force, but instead he traps it in his chest. He can’t do anything, <em>(and maybe part of it is because of his ties to Izuna and Madara, but Toru will only break those with his death)</em>.</p>
<p>He had plans to meet with Izuna and Madara—to train, if nothing else. And now he has a mission instead.</p>
<p>Toru knows, <em>knows</em>, that he doesn’t deserve to be treated as less important that Izuna and Madara. But <em>he is</em>. In the eyes of the Uchiha, the Clan Head and the Clan Heirs are those who lead the clan into the future, lead the clan to glory. Toru, in comparison, matters little. Unlike the Clan Heirs, he’s not popular or loved by most of the Uchiha Clan, nor is he even in the limelight.</p>
<p>Toru’s just cannon fodder, and so the Clan Head sends him out on mission after mission, each one increasing in difficulty. Over the past eight months, they’ve steadily changed from being important to not mattering and things that should kill him—would kill him, if he had been anyone other than who he is.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Sometime he wants to scream and burn the world down, because he is eleven and eleven-year-olds don’t deserve this. Maybe Toru isn’t really eleven, but this is still a world that would place someone who looks eleven on the frontlines and tell them to fight. And </em>
  <em>Toru wants to rage for all the other kids being tossed on the frontlines, tossed to the wolves. They don’t know any other life but fighting, but blood and war, and Toru <strong>hates</strong>.)</em>
</p>
<p>Still, though, Toru goes out and fights and completes his missions and comes back. He comes back and he comes back and he comes back. The tattoos are permanent on his skin and they remind him to keep going forward, bolster him forward when Izuna isn’t there to do it for him, <em>(but Izuna, like the others he claims as family, is also tattooed onto his skin; there are things Toru would never want to forget and now he has ensured it)</em>.</p>
<p>So Toru fights and fights and completes his missions and keeps going—because he wants to live.</p>
<p>
  <em>(And Izuna doesn’t notice because Toru has always been sent on mission, even when he was younger, and Toru is very, very good at hiding; sometimes, it feels like the only thing he knows</em>
  <em>.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is fifteen-years-old. Toru is thirteen-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p>Izuna opens one eye lazily at the sound of approaching footsteps, pulled out of his partial meditation. The day’s warm, not overly hot, but the perfect kind of weather that made you want to laze around beneath the sun, <em>(not that he ever got to do it often)</em>. Even better is the fact that <em>Toru</em> is off-duty and free to hang out with. And, even better, Toru had been willing to join Izuna on the grass in the sunshine rather than train, <em>(Izuna knows that much of that can be attributed to the tiredness that always seems to surround Toru)</em>.</p>
<p>Despite the sound of footsteps, Toru doesn’t shift, still asleep with his eyes closed. It’s a miracle, except it also isn’t—because Toru trusts Izuna, <em>(and it never fails to fill him with warmth; Toru’s trust is hard-earned, won over years of effort and work, and Izuna will do everything to avoid betraying it)</em>.</p>
<p>Madara appears. He looks remarkably calm, at ease. It’s a good look on him, one Izuna wishes he saw more often. Upon spotting Toru and him, Madara smiles, something soft and sweet.</p>
<p>Head in Izuna’s lap, Toru shifts, mouth twisting downwards, and Izuna runs a careful hand through Toru’s hair and the younger boy stills momentarily, before returning to sleep. Izuna glances up at Madara who watches, smile having turned slightly bittersweet.</p>
<p>“I’ll keep watch,” Madara signs, <em>(and Izuna trusts Madara, with himself and with Toru and with the clan)</em>.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Izuna signs back, before patting the ground next to him. “Join us.”</p>
<p>For a second, it looks like Madara will hesitate, before he sits down next to Izuna. His shoulder is the perfect height for Izuna to rest his head on as well. With Toru asleep and Madara beside him, Izuna feels safe—and happy. Happier than he can remember being for a long time.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Izuna wants, with every bone in his body, for this to be their normal. For Toru to be rested and willing to cuddle </em>
  <em>rather than train anyway. For Madara to be free from his duties and be able to smile easily. Izuna wants to be safe and happy all the time. He wants so many things but he knows he’ll never get them. But he has this, and he is thankful for that much.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is sixteen-years-old. Toru is fourteen-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p>Most children games are, to some degree, training. Which means, if anyone asks Izuna what he’s doing with Toru, he can claim that it’s training. It wouldn’t be wrong, although ninjas of their calibre probably don’t likely train, <em>(play)</em>, like this.</p>
<p>Izuna sweeps through the trees, twisting around a branch to push off the tree’s trunk and send himself flying higher into the branches. He holds there, crouching amongst the thinnest branches and laying a genjutsu over himself to remain hidden. After all, it wouldn’t do to make it too easy for Toru.</p>
<p>Somewhere nearby, Izuna catches the sound of a soft footfall against bark—Toru. He clicks his tongue, the other Uchiha should be better, <em>is </em>better. Izuna’s certain of it, though he rarely takes missions with Toru. He frowns in thought, something’s not right here. And he knows it, but he can’t figure out what, exactly, it is.</p>
<p>The only warning he gets is the sound of wind through the leaves before someone slams into him. Izuna stiffens for a moment, before trying to shift, but Toru has a hold keeping his arms pinned to his side.</p>
<p>Thankfully, likely due to Toru redirecting their fall, they don’t hit any branches on their way down. Just before they hit the ground, Toru lets go and Izuna hits the ground, rolls, and comes up—just missing a puddle left from last night’s storm.</p>
<p>“If you get me wet, I will drop you into the pond,” Izuna says, glaring at Toru, who rolls his eyes in response.</p>
<p>“That’s Madara’s threat, not yours,” Toru answers, even as he shifts his weight forward. “Your turn now, right?”</p>
<p>Izuna shoos Toru away with his hand. “I’ll give you ten seconds.” Toru’s laughter echoes in his ears even as Toru leaps away and into the trees. What they’re playing is a mix of hide-and-seek and tag, with enough ninja elements thrown in to pretend it’s more training than anything else.</p>
<p>After five seconds pass, Izuna heads into the trees to track down Toru, <em>(he’s a ninja, what else would you expect?)</em>. There’s no sign of Toru nor can Izuna sense him—but Toru has habits and this training ground has something of a small pond that Toru usually retreats to, <em>(and it often works well for him which Izuna is still confused about, they’re Uchiha!)</em></p>
<p>In the trees, Izuna runs towards the pond easily leaping the gaps between branches. Just as he comes up to a clearing, something swishes off to his left. Immediately, Izuna changes his direction and quickens his pace, knowing that Toru will soon be off to hide. He leaps across the clearing and, just as he lands on the next branch, something hits his back.</p>
<p>It… doesn’t feel right. Izuna has an awful, <em>awful</em> realisation of what it likely is.</p>
<p>Ever so slowly, Izuna turns and the <em>something</em> drips off his back. It’s wet and heavy. Down on the ground, Toru grins up at him, a massive puddle that’s more mud than water lays in front of him.</p>
<p>“You did not,” Izuna says, because his clothes had been clean—and he’d been trying to avoid the mud! He’d even been successful so far!</p>
<p>In retrospect, it was probably the wrong thing to say, as the next attack comes too fast and ends up splattering all over his front. Mud. And water. It’s dreadfully cold and Izuna is not happy about this.</p>
<p>Toru’s smile widens, eyes glinting, because he knows Izuna doesn’t want to come down onto the muddy ground but Izuna also needs to tag Toru to win. Except Izuna no longer cares about getting muddy because Toru already <em>ruined that for him</em>.</p>
<p>Chakra flares and Izuna launches himself down. He slams into Toru, takes the other down, and muddy water is sent cascading up, drenching them both. Toru shouts, and they wrestle. Izuna’s extra reach and strength lets him get the upper-hand and he rubs Toru’s face into the mud.</p>
<p>“This is revenge!” Izuna says loudly, <em>(and they’re definitely no longer training but Izuna doesn’t mind, never would when Toru’s enjoying himself)</em>.</p>
<p>For a moment, it looks like Toru will give in, but then his chakra flares and the water shoves Izuna away, and he finds himself on his back in the puddle that now makes up most of the clearing, staring up at the sky. He might’ve been drenched before, but now it’s <em>in his hair</em><em>.</em></p>
<p>“I hate you,” Izuna says, trying and failing to keep the laughter out of his voice. He already knows he’s smiling. “You suck so much.”</p>
<p>The response he gets is laughter, and he pushes himself onto his elbows and twists to look at Toru. The other’s hair is messed up and sticking to his scalp, and he’s drenched in muddy water too. But he’s grinning, laughing without reserve and Izuna loves him so much, <em>(Izuna would burn the world for those he loves, it’s so much harder to make it better—but he’ll try)</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Izuna is seventeen-years-old. Toru is fifteen-years-old.</strong>
</p>
<p><em>We’re winning</em>, Izuna thinks to himself as he surveys the battlefield. This battle has been a win for them, with the Senjus eventually calling the retreat while Tajima ensures the Uchiha hold their line, <em>(no one wants to go further into the trees after a Senju retreat—they have only made that mistake once, and it hadn’t been a victory)</em>. But it’s not even this win that makes Izuna think they’re winning—it’s the fact that the warfront is being pushed back further and further, and the Senju are retreating back to their forests.</p>
<p>Crouching down, Izuna pulls his kunai out of a chest where it had been buried hilt-deep. He glances around. His father and Madara are in a discussion with one of the other high-ranking Uchiha. Probably about the next plan to push the warfront further forward, which Izuna should likely be involved in—even if it’s only as Madara’s shadow.</p>
<p>But, well, in the aftermath of a battle, Izuna’s priorities aren’t the same as his father’s, <em>(in the few battles that Madara has directed without their father being on the battlefield, the aftermath isn’t focussed on future fighting plans but on their injured; Izuna knows which one he prefers)</em>. Instead, Izuna searches for those nearby, picking out the ones injured and calling other Uchiha over to help the injured get back home. And, all the while, he searches for Toru.</p>
<p>There’s always the fear beating rapidly in his chest that Toru has gone down during the battle, that he’s gone down and won’t get up. But—no, there’s Toru. Izuna catches sight of the fourteen-year-old with Sharingan-sharp eyes.</p>
<p>A scan reveals no obvious injuries, which lets Izuna’s heart beat easy. He makes his way closer to Toru.</p>
<p>
  <em>(There’s no sign of the boy Izuna had first seen. No longer skin and bones and ragged clothing. Toru’s gangly, perhaps on the short side due to problems getting food when he was younger, but he looks like most Uchiha kids now. Long limbed and always growing.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(The past isn’t quite erased, though. Toru still fights like his back’s against the wall. Still fights like death doesn’t just watch over the battlefield, but like he’s almost in its grasp. Still he doesn’t always fight like he’s alone now. He fights like he trusts those beside him to watch his back.)</em>
</p>
<p>Toru meets him part of the way there. Not limping or injured or anything. He meets Izuna’s gaze evenly and nods. “I’m fine,” he says even before Izuna reaches him properly.</p>
<p>“I’m uninjured as well,” Izuna says, <em>(though uninjured might not be the right word; he’s bruised and might have some minor cuts, exhausted down to his bones, but he’s not going to die nor does he require healing—which is more than they can hope for at times)</em>.</p>
<p>And it’s almost strange how easy Toru smiles at that, but it’s not at the same time. Somehow, even in the aftermath of the battle, Toru looks good, <em>(and that’s how Izuna really knows they’re winning)</em>. Toru looks calmer, focussed, <em>present</em>. Izuna might not be able to change the world or anything, but if Toru looks rested he’s doing something right.</p>
<p>
  <em>(If the future looks like this—Toru rested, his family safe, Madara happy—Izuna knows he will love it.)</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter titles? I think not! </p>
<p>Also if you've noticed that the chapter count has gone up that's because I have no idea how to do basic counting and totally forgot to actually create chapters before I put the first one up. BUT, I'm there now. It'll still be done in a few days. You'll just get an extra update at some point (potentially today). </p>
<p>Anyway, the ages might be a little bit stuffed here, but it's mainly to show that it occurs in the next year more than anything else. Hopefully you understood most of it. </p>
<p>I've been writing comments for this book as I go to make up the end  notes so hopefully they make sense. They're often just fun thoughts I had as I read through this.</p>
<p><i>The thought will be kind.</i> Don't ask me why I'm obsessed with this line, I have no idea.</p>
<p>Also!! The soft intimacy of taking off someone's armour for them? I just love that?? It's so soft and trusting and I just??? Anyway. I hope you sobbed with me at that scene.</p>
<p>Izuna and Toru learning to be soft and gentle and good with each other is just the best and I love them.</p>
<p>Okay so I briefly mentioned how the clan had too many dead for funerals and like, maybe that doesn't really work but I liked the idea/line so everyone gets to deal. This fic's already longer than it was meant to be and we were just going with it.</p>
<p>Any time there's a vague implication of Sora and Souma, cry because they're not here. I love them and I miss them.</p>
<p>You'll notice Toru has a number of things to work through. He'll get there. Eventually. You know, when he has time to think about himself. </p>
<p>Okay, so! I did have some inspiration/picture bases for the tattoos. You have Izuna's <a href="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/722581614302855301/728576731312816258/6ab7245fa11fd1b132128e29ba76230d.png">star one</a>. Then you've got Toru's <a href="http://nextluxury.com/wp-content/uploads/guys-forearms-green-leaved-oak-tree-painting-tattoos.jpg">tree one</a>. It's more night colours rather than the colours given, but whatever. Then there's the one Toru gets for Uzushio which is based off of <a href="https://cdntattoofilter.com/tattoo/35344/l.jpg">this</a>.</p>
<p>Cuddle piles are the way to go. As the group on Discord know, it's cuddle piles or murder. We picked the first one. Also the second one. Look, you get both in this fic. I don't make the rules.</p>
<p>Izuna is very overdramatic and that characterisation is at least, in part, due to Silver. Everything's Silver's fault really. But the mud scene was so much fun to write and Izuna is so dramatic and I had a great time.</p>
<p>And yeah, listen, Izuna sees what he wants to see. And well... He's a tiny, little bit off.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The part that contains many things such as Konoha, Hashirama, TobiIzu, and a little bit of war.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pyrrhic victories are all too common, Izuna knows. And he’d known that his father would fall if he kept fighting. Tajima had been forty-one, it hadn’t been unexpected. But… Izuna still hadn’t been expecting it.</p><p>But in one battle, both the Uchiha Clan Head and Senju Clan Head fell—to each other, as well. A fitting death for them, but they were stilled mourned.</p><p>Life goes on though. The Uchiha Clan knows this far too well. Madara takes the mantle of Clan Head and Izuna steps into the Clan Heir role, <em>(the Senju Clan would be doing the same, but Izuna does not think about that)</em>. And maybe Izuna should still be in mourning for his father, rather than completing other tasks and hatching a scheme with Madara, but…</p><p>Tajima had been a Clan Head far more than he’d been a father. It’s the absence that Izuna, <em>(and Madara)</em>, remember more.</p><p>
  <em>(The absence of their brothers; the gap where their mother should be; the comfort of a fatherly hug; the gentleness of a hand on their shoulders. They are, to each other, what their entire family should have been for them, but wasn’t.)</em>
</p><p>Now that Madara is Clan Head, however, there are things he can do without Tajima impeding him. The first official decree Madara makes is the refusal of child hunters as part of the war efforts, <em>(how many children were hunted down before they joined the battlefield; how many were killed and were never even going to join the battlefield; the numbers might make sense but Madara knows too many lost children to think about that)</em>. The Clan Elders had been unhappy with his decision, and had made this known, but the Uchiha Clan had celebrated the change—too many small bodies had been buried when they shouldn’t have had to be.</p><p>But it’s what Izuna can now do with Madara as Clan Head that is more important, <em>(of course, the war looms over them all and they cannot escape it, but Izuna finds joy in the small changes he can enact without his father watching over his shoulders, inescapable)</em>. No one can prevent him from seeing Toru now, <em>(not that it ever worked)</em>, nor can Toru be sent on mission after mission to keep him away from Izuna, <em>(he knew what was happening, even if he couldn’t stop it)</em>.</p><p>And, in the end, Toru might not be six anymore, but that doesn’t mean Izuna won’t look out for him anyway.</p><p>
  <em>(And it doesn’t mean that Toru isn’t struggling still. Largely because he gives away all the money and food he has spare to children, those struggling, those who aren’t fighting, or anyone who asks. Because Toru learnt to live off of little and has yet to learn otherwise. The clan has come to love him for what he does, for his kindness, but he cannot live off of that alone. In the end, they are all greedy.)</em>
</p><p>The path Izuna travels is one he knows intimately, even the loose stone three strides from Toru’s house. He pauses by the door, glancing around with mild distaste. Toru might have grown over the years, earned money, but his house still looks to be in a state of permanent disrepair. The paint isn’t quite flaking though, and nothing’s rotted through—instead, wood has been hammered into place to fix sections. But… it still feels empty, doesn’t feel right, <em>(and Izuna doesn’t know how Toru lives there)</em>.</p><p>Before Izuna can knock, the door opens to reveal Toru. The door’s pushed open in invitation, but Izuna remains outside—he’s not sure how Toru will take this and he doesn’t want to crowd the younger boy, <em>(he wants to push him, but not further than Toru would go on his own)</em>.</p><p>Toru tilts his head in question. “You have something to ask me,” he says, eyes narrowed. “But there are no missions and you’re not here to train or anything.” He pauses, a smile pulling at his lips, “Do you need a hand in pranking Madara?”</p><p>At the memory that question incites, Izuna grins. With Toru’s help, they’d planned—and enacted—a glorious prank that left Madara with blue hair so bright Izuna almost couldn’t look at it with the Sharingan. Toru had been the one to get the dye done while Izuna had acted as the distraction. The outcome had let Toru flee the scene of the prank whilst Izuna had been tossed into a nearby pond. Well worth it in Izuna’s opinion though.</p><p>
  <em>(It hadn’t lasted for longer than a day, but the laughter that had arisen as a result had been beautiful. The clan had needed a laugh in the face of their latest defeat, and Madara had known that—which is why he left it in for a day.)</em>
</p><p>“Not this time,” Izuna answers. He pauses, thinking about how to word his question. But perhaps it’s better to simply blurt it out and deal with the answer that comes. “You should come live with me.”</p><p>“And Madara?”</p><p>“Yes,” Izuna says. “We want you with us.”</p><p>
  <em>(The angry boy Izuna had first met would shout and spit sparks </em>
  <em>at him for asking this. Would claim that Izuna just wants to ‘keep an eye’ on him and that he wanted ‘to be left alone’. But Toru isn’t six anymore, and he knows he is loved. That this question comes from love.)</em>
</p><p>The silence that comes is worrying but good at the same time. Izuna wants Toru to think about this, but he also wants Toru to leave the house that is always empty and often far too silent and never quite feels like Toru’s home. Still, he waits.</p><p>A long moment of silence passes, and then Toru swallows, shifting his way so that he can sweep his gaze around. “I… Yes. I think I would like that.”</p><p>The exhilaration that fills Izuna makes him want to shout to the stars about Toru’s decision. Instead, he grins and pulls Toru into a tight hug. Feels the hug returned just as strong. “Thank you,” he whispers into Toru’s ear.</p><p>“<em>Thank you</em>,” Toru says. “For everything.”</p><p>***</p><p>They’re a month into Madara’s reign as Clan Head and nothing seems to be getting better. The Senju appear almost stronger than ever, even if they’re not often pushing for battle. Rather, they’re going on more missions and sabotaging trade routes and supplies meant for the Uchiha Clan. It’s just as dangerous as the outright warring that’s been going on for years, just not as obvious in its immediacy.</p><p>However, those aren’t problems that Madara caused, just the result of changed leadership and bad luck. There’s nothing they can do but increase guarding and patrol and tighten up their trade routes, as well as pick up whatever missions are leftover.</p><p>No, the problem isn’t focussed on the war efforts at all. It’s about Toru—who’s on a mission somewhere east. A mission that Izuna had wrangled for the other as a break. Because other clans are pushing at their borders once again, hoping to make Madara’s leadership unstable undoubtably. The Senju, too, are a dangerous force that the Clan Elders urge Madara to attack time after time, <em>(and he cannot always say no, to say no most of the time would be dangerous as it is)</em>.</p><p>And, in the end, Toru learnt to fight and live and breathe on the frontlines. He is deadly in a war, takes every inch of space someone gives him and claims more. He doesn’t stop until everyone else does, never gives in, and never stops. He is a devastating force, <em>(and all Izuna can do is watch as it kills him more and more)</em>.</p><p>The Clan is used to petty arguments between Izuna and Madara. They fight and squabble like siblings, Izuna will insult Madara and steal something, and Madara will toss him in the pond. They argue loudly, voices raised, and shouting and pointing fingers and never truly pressing a button. When they really argue, the few times they have, Izuna goes quiet and Madara goes still.</p><p>“He needs to get off the frontlines,” Izuna says, eyes fixed on Madara’s, <em>(he will not look away, will not look down, will not submit)</em>.</p><p>“There are some people who can come off the frontlines, but Toru is not one of them,” Madara says. “That’s beside the point—you went behind my back to give Toru a mission. You can’t show favouritism like that, and you shouldn’t be doing things behind my back like that! It’s against clan law. If anyone else knew Izuna, you would be in serious trouble.”</p><p>“Fuck that!” Izuna says back, voice almost raised in a shout. “Toru is killing himself out on those frontlines for you. And he won’t say a word. But you can’t tell me you haven’t seen the signs. Toru will die out there for you and will never utter a single complaint.”</p><p>“You think I don’t know that? I know that! I live with him too, and I see how he looks and know how he suffers. But I take him off the frontlines and countless others will die. Toru is <em>good</em> at fighting, and that comes with a price. I can’t take either of us off the frontlines, and the same goes for Toru. We <em>need</em> him there.”</p><p>Again, Izuna curses, low and heartfelt. Because Madara is right. Toru’s needed at the frontlines, but it’s also destroying Toru, <em>(and Izuna doesn’t want to bury another brother)</em>. “Give him some more time on missions at least,” he says. “If nothing else, grant him that.”</p><p>Madara nods. “I’ll do my best, but…”</p><p>“The war.”</p><p>“The war indeed.”</p><p>***</p><p>Toru’s heading back home when he sees it. The only reason he spots it is because of how slowly he’s going. He’d managed to finish the mission ahead of schedule, and though he knows he’s needed back home, <em>(Izuna may have said to enjoy the break but Toru knows what the warfront’s like, he can’t save everyone—but if he can save one person, that has to be enough)</em>, his leg’s bothering him enough to go slightly slower than his usual. An enemy he hadn’t sensed had gotten the drop and given him a nasty cut that’d been stitched up as well as partially healed, but it ached regardless. He’d have to actually go to a medic when he got home, <em>(he would get home—he always would)</em>.</p><p>
  <em>(Looking back at it all, this is the start of something. Not that Toru knows it at the time. But if he had to pick a single incident that started it all—this would be the one that begins it all, at least in Toru’s view.)</em>
</p><p>Dropping out of the trees, Toru surveys the seal almost hidden on the ground. Its style is similar, through slightly distorted—Uzumaki-style, rather than Uzushio-style. But legible. The seal is working currently. A ward seal of some kind, with intricate details that Toru is hard-pressed to read without expanding the seal, which might alert the creator.</p><p>Realistically, Toru really should either continue on his way home avoiding any potential enemies, <em>(the Uzumaki Clan is allied with the Senju Clan),</em> or spy to see if he can gather any information. But…</p><p>But this is the first sign of seals that Toru’s seen here, outside of his own—which he doesn’t use for the most part, <em>(does Izuna even know he can use seals? Toru can’t remember… he has a feeling he might be slightly concussed</em><em>, which would explain the headache)</em>. It’s gorgeous, even if it could definitely be refined. Uzumaki Clan seals, if Toru remembers correctly, were often seen everywhere and had a decorative aspect to them. This seal seems to fit that description.</p><p>A nearby sound has Toru shifting into a defensive stance, though he remains unarmed for now. He breathes out slowly, channelling chakra into his senses as he tries to figure out if anyone’s nearby or if it’s an animal or the wind.</p><p>“What have we got here?” The voice seems to come from nowhere, dripping out of the air like the wind itself spoke.</p><p>Toru steps backward so he has a tree guarding his back and looks around with narrowed eyes. “No one important,” he answers because he’s already been spotted, he might as well go all in. Besides, he has faith in his ability to run and escape if things take a turn for the worse, <em>(and Uzushio-style seals are the standard in Uzushiogakure rather than the Uzumaki-style seals for good reason)</em>.</p><p>“Really?” The voice seems to loop around him and Toru flares his chakra, but no genjutsu breaks. “Most people don’t just spot a seal and stop, you know.”</p><p>Licking his lips, Toru considers his answer. “Most people don’t know much about seals,” he offers in return, heart in his mouth.</p><p>“Oh?” Something shimmers and a ninja with bold, bright red hair seems to appear from nowhere, standing on a branch above the seal. Uzumaki. “Do tell.”</p><p>Toru shrugs, limbs loose and easy, <em>(and ready to fight)</em>. “I know the basics,” he says, “but I don’t use them.”</p><p>He tries to reach out and sense if there’s anyone else around. It’s almost certain there is, but he doesn’t know where they are and that makes him worried.</p><p>The Uzumaki is still watching him, careful eyes, before she smiles. “Want to try and unravel that seal? I promise it won’t explode.”</p><p>Before he can help himself, Toru snorts. “If I do something wrong, it’ll explode,” he says. “You can’t trick me like that.” And yet, he finds himself stepping forward, away from the tree and towards the seal. He places down one of the basic seals, and watches the Uzumaki seal expand to show all its intricate details.</p><p>Rocking backwards on his heel, Toru considers the seal. Going further would involve picking up parts of the Uzumaki-style and that… that feels wrong. The Uzumaki had given him the option, but she likely hadn’t expected him to actually get this far he reckons.</p><p>He steps backward and lifts his head to meet the gaze of the kunoichi. “You can remove it if you want. It’s your style.”</p><p>The Uzumaki lands before him, and he tenses, but does nothing else. She smiles—and not like she’s an enemy. Tentatively, he smiles back.</p><p>
  <em>(In the end, Toru is still the ninja who believed in mercy. He might’ve changed, but there’s still a possibility of mercy and he pushes it forward whenever he can.)</em>
</p><p>Almost immediately, the seal is rubbed out and no sign remains; it’s as if it was never there in the first place. The Uzumaki meets Toru’s gaze. “Just the basics, huh?”</p><p>“Just the basics,” Toru agrees, although he certainly knows more than the basics and the Uzumaki clearly knows this by now. “Can I ask what you’re doing so far away from Uzu no Kuni?”</p><p>The Uzumaki tilts her head and glances elsewhere, before her gaze returns to him. “Occasionally a few seal masters meet up outside of Uzu no Kuni,” she says. “You could come with.”</p><p>
  <em>(The idea sounds absurd. It has to be a lie. No such thing would happen with the country torn up by war and fighting. There’s no peace here and seal masters from different clans certainly wouldn’t meet up and discuss ideas unless something else was at work.) </em>
</p><p>Toru misses seals, misses talking about them, misses creating them. He’s an idiot for even thinking about following the Uzumaki, and Izuna certainly wouldn’t agree with him but… But.</p><p>Is it selfish to want one thing for yourself? Toru knows it is, knows this would be a selfish move on his behalf. But he <em>wants</em>.</p><p>“Alright,” he says slowly. At the very least, he can use his seals against the Uzumaki if it all goes wrong. He has the upper-hand as well, considering the Uzushio-style partially evolved from the Uzumaki-style. Not to mention, Toru likely knows this land better, and he reckons he has the speed he needs to outrun them. “I’ll come.”</p><p>The Uzumaki grins, wide. “Follow me then,” she says, <em>(and turns her back—and that, more than anything else, suggests that even if she was lying, she’s not necessarily his enemy)</em>.</p><p>***</p><p>In previous years, Tobirama Senju hadn’t been allowed to meet with a group of Uzumaki-nins. Not that it had necessarily stopped him, <em>(not when Hashirama said he should go and Mito agreed)</em>, but it had made things a great deal trickier.</p><p>Nowadays, a meeting was easier to organise even if the location often varied. Most meetings followed the same pattern—discussing the alliance and swapping resources, but also discussing seal creations and developments. For the most part, they spoke about offensive seals, though occasionally more defensive and warding seals were discussed. The normal pattern did not, however, involve random shinobi picked up by the Uzumaki-nins.</p><p>And- And there’s something about the shinobi, <em>(and despite his clear youth, he must be a shinobi)</em>, that sets Tobirama on edge. But the Uzumaki-nins are calm and the unknown ninja seems to be just as cautious but unwilling to make any obvious threatening movements.</p><p>What really gets to him, however, is the kid’s age. Tobirama’s seventeen and been on the battlefield for most of his life—but the shinobi across from him looks to be thirteen or even younger, <em>(there are some things that cannot be fixed with enough love, sometimes damage is done before it can be fixed; Toru’s growth was stunted far too early, and even with enough food, he’s still too small for his age)</em>. And he looks like he’s used to fight and-</p><p>And Tobirama’s seen him on the war front, actually. That’s an Uchiha ninja.</p><p>The only reason Tobirama doesn’t immediately attack is because the Uchiha seems surprised as well, and he doubts the Uzumaki-nins knew who they were bringing. Why, however, they brought the Uchiha is in question.</p><p>“We found someone who knows about seals,” the ringleader of the group, Aiko, says. “We weren’t aware that someone else was a creator around here.”</p><p>That is a surprise. Tobirama’s never seen this Uchiha use seals, never seen any Uchiha use seals for that account. He can’t help but be curious. How did this Uchiha learn? When? Why doesn’t he use them on the battlefield? Not that Tobirama could ask such things outright.</p><p>“I wasn’t aware of this,” he says instead, looking at Aiko instead of the Uchiha, <em>(don’t look into his eyes, you never know when they will ensnare you in a genjutsu and attack)</em>.</p><p>The Uchiha shrugs, seemingly at ease. “I don’t use them in battle,” he says, which is unusual. For one, he said such a thing straight away with little prompting, and two—who doesn’t use a weapon in battle? Clearly guessing at the path of Tobirama’s thoughts, the Uchiha adds, “It costs too much.”</p><p>For a heartbeat, Tobirama is reminded of Hashirama and his speeches of peace. Hashirama could, if he so desired, easily take out the Uchiha Clan but chooses not to. Tobirama doubted he would ever find someone who would do the same, and yet here he is. And an Uchiha, at that. Impossible things, Tobirama would have once said, but aren’t his meetings with the Uzumaki-nins impossible things too? Moments of peace in a country full of war and bloodshed. How strange that an Uchiha should join him here, without fighting, without wanting a battle.</p><p>This isn’t just any Uchiha either. There’s a reason Tobirama has seen this Uchiha before, usually at Izuna’s back, <em>(though whether he’s at Izuna’s back or Izuna’s at his back is unclear)</em>. Although, no one really seems to know who, exactly, the Uchiha is. He has no obvious position in the Uchiha Clan, no relation to Madara, and isn’t even third in command. Yet, he’s still known, somehow.</p><p>Which makes it even stranger that he’s here and not fighting. Just… sitting. Like the Uzumaki-nins. Like Tobirama.</p><p>
  <em>(Maybe… Maybe Hashirama’s dream isn’t too impossible. No more than all the other impossible things Hashirama has done</em>
  <em>.)</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Toru comes home and something is off. Izuna can see it, and it’s not just that he got injured. That’s not particularly strange. There’s something else. Something Toru’s not saying. And Izuna knows it, which is why he’s watching Toru with narrowed eyes as the other putters around the room yet does nothing.</p><p>“Staring at him isn’t going to get you the answer you want,” Madara points out from where he’s frowning over some account numbers or something. It’s not Izuna’s problem, Izuna has other things to do. Mainly figuring out what’s going on with Toru.</p><p>“You don’t know that,” Izuna huffs. “Toru’s going to give in eventually.”</p><p>“Or,” Madara says rather pointedly, “you could just go and ask him. He’ll answer. Or he won’t but at least you’ll know.”</p><p>Izuna makes a face, and though Madara doesn’t look up, he gives a rude gesture in response. He bounds over to Toru and drops an arm around the fifteen-year-old’s shoulders. Toru rocks with the weight, leans into him, and Izuna can’t help but squeeze his shoulder.</p><p>“You know I could hear you, right?” Toru asks, amused.</p><p>“I knew you could see me too,” Izuna replies, “and you know what I want.”</p><p>Toru laughs, a smile gracing his face. “And you know to ask.”</p><p>“Toru,” Izuna whines, stretching the syllables out. “Tell me what happened on your mission? Whatever it is that has you thinking so much.”</p><p>For a split second, Toru’s shoulders tense and draw up, before he relaxes. But—it’s enough for Izuna to feel. Enough for Izuna to realise that Toru’s worried about his response, fearful of what will come, <em>(and Izuna had hoped Toru would leave these responses behind, but even if he doesn’t, Izuna will just have to keep reminding him that he’s not going anywhere)</em>. Izuna leans his weight further onto Toru, and steers him away from Madara.</p><p>Toru breathes out slowly and that, too, is a sign. He’s comfortable enough to show the release of tension. “Don’t freak out,” he says lowly and Izuna decides immediately to not respond and make sure he’s showing nothing. Comforting Toru comes first here.</p><p>“Have you ever known me to freak out?” Izuna asks, and smiles when Toru snorts in response.</p><p>“Always,” he says drily. “Anyway, I sorta maybe-met-Senju-Tobirama-andwespokewithsomeUzumakisanditsallfine.”</p><p>The words slur together with speed and it takes Izuna a heartbeat to pick them apart. “I’m sorry, you what.” His tone is flat and Izuna almost immediately winces because Toru’s stiffened beneath his arm and is drawing away. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” It’s too late for levity though, and it falls flat. Toru pulls away, stiff and uncomfortable and not meeting Izuna’s eyes.</p><p>“That’s something you should report straight away,” Izuna adds, because he has to. He’s the second-in-command, Madara’s heir, and this <em>matters</em>.</p><p>There’s an aborted flinch, and Toru keeps his gaze downward. It hurts Izuna’s heart, and he’s caught between panic and fright and all he can think about is how Toru’s lucky to be alive. “Fuck,” he spits out, stepping forward, and pulls Toru into a tight hug. “I’m glad you’re okay. You know that right? You being alive is far more important than anything else.”</p><p>Toru doesn’t relax, but there’s an easing of tension in his body. It’s not enough, not what Izuna wants, but has to be enough. He… definitely could’ve reacted better, not that he was wrong to react the way he did, but this is something they’ll have to work on.</p><p>“I…” Toru trails off and Izuna waits, drawing back a little bit to watch him chew over his words. He’s looking slightly calmer, though not by much, and Izuna refuses to move further away from him. “There were these Uzumaki-nins when I was on my way back. And they asked me if I wanted to join them for a conversation.” At last, Toru meets Izuna’s gaze but it’s a worried, frantic thing that Izuna hates to see. “I know I shouldn’t have. But they wanted to talk and…”</p><p>
  <em>(And Toru likes to help people, Izuna knows. Toru likes to talk to people and laugh with them. Toru has this idea of peace, though he hasn’t ever mentioned it. Toru believes in mercy when such a thing is impossible.)</em>
</p><p>“They were safe,” Toru says, at last, swallowing. “They were safe and I knew I could escape. I was <em>safe</em>.”</p><p>One thing that can always be said about Toru is that he rarely underestimates or overestimates himself. “I believe you,” Izuna says, and Toru relaxes further, shoulders loosening.</p><p>“Right,” Toru says, gathering himself together and finding his words. “So I went with them and Tobirama was there too. I wasn’t expecting that, but he didn’t attack. And we all talked.”</p><p>Sounds insane. Sounds impossible. Sounds exactly like something that might have happened to Toru. “What did you talk about?” Izuna asks, trying not to sound suspicious.</p><p>For a second, it seems like Toru might look away, but then he meets Izuna’s gaze and seems to be <em>more</em>. Like he has a presence to him now, <em>(it’s something Izuna sees, albeit rarely; this is why people occasionally back away from Toru, how Toru makes himself heard though he’s so young; this is something all predators have to them—those who know they are dangerous and know how to use it)</em>. “Seals,” he says, something beneath his tone tells Izuna to avoid asking, and so he doesn’t.</p><p>“You didn’t tell me you knew about seals,” Izuna says, forcing his eyes wide and going for something humorous. There’s nothing to do about what happened—and Toru’s telling the truth. Nothing happened and Toru’s safe, <em>(and Izuna’s never letting that Senju bastard near Toru ever again)</em>.</p><p>Toru shrugs, but there’s something more shy to it now, like he knows Izuna’s going to compliment him over something he doesn’t think needs to be compliments which—seals! How can Izuna not compliment Toru over that?</p><p>“I know a bit,” Toru says, worrying his lip between his teeth for a moment before adding, with a touch more strength and something that says not to push him, “but not for battlefield use.”</p><p>Toru’s a bit weird like that. Tends to place limitations on himself for in the battlefield, <em>(how could Izuna ever know of the massacre that rests in Toru’s head? The remains of skeletons that haunt him even now)</em>, and it’s something they’ve fought about a few times. And the last fight over it sticks in Izuna’s mind now. Toru crying, sharp as ever, and saying that he’ll burn his soul and give up his heart for Izuna but there are things he won’t do—massacres, genocides, the deaths of everyone on his shoulder is something he wouldn’t do. Not for Izuna. Not for Madara. Not even for the clan.</p><p>
  <em>(Sometimes Izuna looks at Toru and wonders.)</em>
</p><p>And Izuna knows he shouldn’t have let such things go. Toru should follow the orders of Madara and himself, should do everything for the clan. But there are somethings he won’t push, and Toru was crying and there was something jagged to him, something liable to break and fracture and Izuna had the awful feeling that if there was thing that would cause Toru’s death—it would be pushing him on this issue.</p><p>“You’re a little genius aren’t you,” Izuna says instead, pulling Toru to him and messing up his hair. Toru elbows him in the ribs and wriggles out, sending Izuna off-balance with a sweeping kick. Thankfully, Izuna keeps his feet beneath him rather than falling ungracefully onto the ground.</p><p>“And you’re just a big brat,” Toru replies pulling a face. He’s at ease now, something more settled, and it’s good to see. Not enough to stop Izuna from charging at him in revenge though.</p><p>
  <em>(And, slowly, an idea begins to settle into Izuna’s brain.)</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>The idea circles in the back of his mind on sleepless nights. Circles when he’s falling asleep. Starts to circle in his head even when he wakes up. Whispers into his ear during meals. Whenever he has a break, whenever he tries to stop thinking, it comes back. And-</p><p>And Izuna starts to consider it, is the thing. It’s an insane idea. An impossible thing. But so many things are, and yet they’re still done. So Izuna considers it. Looks at it from multiple angles. And <em>thinks</em>.</p><p>All the while, he listens to Toru talk about seals, <em>(and he’s so happy to discuss things outside of the war and battle and blood; he’s a soldier of the war and fights and… and there’s something there that Izuna doesn’t quite understand, not yet)</em>. He listens and he thinks <em>wow, imagine what he could do if we weren’t at war</em>.</p><p>
  <em>(Would he be happy?)</em>
</p><p>The thing that Izuna wants, above everything else, is the clan to be happy and survive. He can’t ensure everyone happiness—isn’t responsible for all of them to be happy outside of his duties to the clan. For Toru, though, Izuna wants him happy. Wants him to stay alive, <em>(but Toru’s getting thinner and thinner and his eyes are harder and none of these changes are good)</em>.</p><p>So Izuna thinks. And thinks. And watches Toru who never voices a word of compliant, who never backs down, who fights like it’s all he knows, <em>(who starts to look like a ghost somehow alive)</em>.</p><p>Izuna wonders about impossible things. And starts believing in them.</p><p>***</p><p>When Toru’s asleep, well and truly asleep to the point where he won’t wake up for a few hours, Izuna talks to Madara. “Do you still believe in peace?” He asks quietly, fingers running through Toru’s hair since the younger boy’s head was on his lap. “Like you did when you were a child?”</p><p>
  <em>(Even if Izuna likes to play the fool, he notices things. Notices how Madara fights, but not with his whole heart. Fights, but like there’s something else to believe in.)</em>
</p><p>Madara shakes himself, eyes opening and seems much more alert. He scans Izuna as if looking for injuries. “This seems to have come from nowhere,” he says. “But… yes, Izuna, I do.”</p><p>“I was thinking,” Izuna says slowly, “about the war. And we can continue this way. But… we don’t have to, do we? Realistically, what are the chances of a ceasefire with the Senju Clan?”</p><p>“High,” Madara answers instantly. “Considering Hashirama’s still badgering me about peace even when we fight. He’ll push for it to be more though.”</p><p>Izuna closes his eyes, thinks about the clan safe for once. Thinks about Toru relaxed. Thinks about a lot of things. “Your village,” he says at last, “the one you imagined as a kid, is it… possible?”</p><p>
  <em>(There are a lot of things not being said here. But they do not need to be said.)</em>
</p><p>“The clan will not protest much,” Madara says. “We will have to fight the Elders, but many are sick of the fighting and the deaths. Izuna, tell me, what’s this all about?”</p><p>Izuna runs his fingers through Toru’s hair. Toru doesn’t shift, though he should, but he’s exhausted, <em>(he shouldn’t be so tired)</em>. “Peace,” he says. “A stop to the fighting. A chance to rest. The clan being safe. Everyone being happier. And… maybe there’s a chance. If the Clan Head and Heir of the Senju Clan throw their weight behind peace… Things might work.”</p><p>“You never believed it was possible until now,” Madara says.</p><p>“I never thought that the Senju Clan could be anything but warmongers,” Izuna says, <em>(and when he says Senju Clan, he means Tobirama)</em>. “But they can be.” Izuna catches Madara’s gaze. “Only a ceasefire though. Nothing more. Not yet.”</p><p>***</p><p>The ceasefire takes two months to finalise and complete. Izuna stands beside Madara and gives his advice, and words of caution. The Elders squabble and fight and argue and Madara yells them down, Izuna speaks to the rest of the clan, gathers them together and they all listen to Madara.</p><p>The ceasefire takes two months and lasts one month.</p><p>From what Izuna knows of ceasefires, usually both sides don’t keep meeting up, <em>Hashirama</em>. Except Hashirama turns up and talks about a village and is a blubbering mess. That’s not meant to be happening but Izuna can’t necessarily stop it, especially when Madara seems to be tentatively rekindling his friendship with Hashirama.</p><p>Anyway, the ceasefire lasts a month and then Izuna finds himself chest-deep in the creation of a village. It’s not bad. It feels good, actually, to have something to work towards rather than wait for a fight to breakout, <em>(Izuna is starting to realise he doesn’t know what to do with himself when there’s not always a battle to wait for)</em>.</p><p>It turns out ending a war that has been going on for generations is somewhat easier than creating an entire village when you have nothing to base it off. At the very least, they had the location settled. But everything else? Constantly in flux.</p><p>Not only do clan allies have to be organised and treaties sent out, but there are systems to be created and logistical structures to be figured out. You’d think that more of it would’ve been figured out considering that Hashirama has been wanting to do this for years. Except, there are a number of unrealistic ideas that have to be shot down.</p><p>The worst part of it all, by far, is the number of times Izuna looks across the table to see Tobirama making the exact same expression of disgust at an outrageous idea one of their brothers suggests. Izuna doesn’t want to feel a sense of kinship with the Senju.</p><p>But… It’s good. Izuna sees more of his clan grinning than he has in a long time. The dark lines beneath eyes are starting to disappear. People are laughing on the streets. They aren’t constantly burying clan member after clan member.</p><p>Perhaps peace is hard and no one knows where to go from here. But it’s rewarding.</p><p>There are so many good things that Izuna can’t pick a favourite. Madara’s happiness is more genuine and appears more often. Toru smiles easily and seems more comfortable in his skin. There’s so much to be thankful for and Izuna is grateful to have given peace a chance.</p><p>***</p><p>A year passes and things begin to settle down into a routine. And there’s no war. It’s the strangest year in Izuna’s life. He never expected to see anything like this, <em>(doubted peace was possible and, if it was, that he would ever live to see it)</em>.</p><p>The village—Konohagakure—is still a work in progress, but it’s starting to feel like a home.</p><p>“You ready?” Toru calls from the door, and Izuna secures his sword and meets him at the door.</p><p>“Are you?” Izuna returns, nudging Toru off-balance so he can squeeze out the door and dart off. From behind him, there’s a bark of laughter, the sound of a door closing, and then silence as Toru follows.</p><p>Toru catches him seconds out from their chosen training ground. “I’ll beat you one day,” Izuna tells him before Toru can say anything. In response, Toru grins, <em>(and he’s so at ease; Izuna loves seeing it)</em>.</p><p>“Sure,” Toru says, confident as he rocks back onto his heels. “The same day you actually do anything about your crush.”</p><p>No matter what Toru says, Izuna certainly did not screech. He did, however, launch himself at Toru and wrestle him to the ground, smearing dirt through his hair. Eventually, he lets Toru push him off.</p><p>“Thanks,” Toru says, nudging Izuna’s shoulder. “I really wanted a dust bath.”</p><p>“You needed it,” Izuna says before getting to his feet. “<em>Especially</em> after that comment.” He offers a hand to Toru, who grabs it, and is easily pulled to his feet.</p><p>Toru’s still smiling and Izuna shakes his head as he steps back into a defensive position. He doesn’t really have a crush. Just feelings that are getting in the way of things. They’ll go away in, <em>(another)</em>, month, <em>(on the other hand, Izuna has been telling himself this for three months now and could be a little bit off)</em>.</p><p>Okay, so maybe it <em>is</em> a crush. Izuna’s certainly not going to talk about it to anyone outside of Toru—and Madara, if he feels like traumatising his brother. To be fair, it is—indirectly—Toru’s fault. Kind of. Well, it’s Toru’s fault that Izuna’s aware of his feelings. He’d been very happy wallowing in his hatred not—whatever this is.</p><p>“Same rules as always?” Toru asks, <em>(and how far he’s come from that boy Izuna first sparred with)</em>.</p><p>“You got it,” Izuna says, and then he’s darting forward, Sharingan flicking on.</p><p>Toru slips around the first blow, deflects a second, catches Izuna’s wrist and yanks him forward before Izuna can do anything else. Izuna goes with the motion, hitting the ground and rolling away from Toru. Immediately, he gets to his feet, eyes catching on something in the distance and-</p><p><em>Fuck</em>. Izuna freezes and swallows. The world collapses to one thing in the distance. Pale skin. White hair. Red eyes. Muscles. Izuna does not whine or squeak, <em>(Toru’s a lying liar who lies)</em>. But- Tobirama is unfairly pretty. And he’s strong. And it’s very hot. And Izuna is very weak.</p><p>A scuff against the ground has him shifting to move—but then Tobirama shifts in his kata and, with his Sharingan on, Izuna can catch the sweat glistening off of his pale skin and it’s—a lot! It’s a lot.</p><p>“Doing alright there?” Toru asks from somewhere behind him. Izuna spins, but somehow manages to get his legs crossed and ends up falling to the ground.</p><p>“Toru, he’s too hot. I can’t handle it. I’m actually going to die,” Izuna says seriously. “We have to move training grounds and go to like the opposite side of Konoha.”</p><p>Toru rolls his eyes. “You’re an idiot,” he says, though the words are fond. “Have you tried talking to him? Doing something other than glaring?”</p><p>“Yes! I did as you suggested, and everything got <em>worse</em>. It was the worst suggestion and I actually hate you. Maybe. Like a tiny bit of hate. Enough to fill a spoon.”</p><p>Snorting, Toru rolls a shoulder. “You could actually do something about your crush,” he says. “At least this is less embarrassing than that time you walked into a tree.”</p><p>“I did no such thing!”</p><p>“He saw you do it that time too.”</p><p>“Stop talking about my mistakes!! Leave things in the past,” Izuna says, finally getting to his feet and firmly keeping his back towards- towards Tobirama, <em>(who is very hot and could probably pin Izuna to the ground and he is going to stop thinking about this now)</em>.</p><p>“It was two days ago,” Toru says with a roll of his eyes. “At least you know he cares about you.”</p><p>“He laughed at me. You laughed at me!”</p><p>“You were fine,” Toru says with a wave of his hand. “Besides, it was very funny that you got so distracted by his muscles that you didn’t see the tree right in front of you.”</p><p>“Who said it was his muscles?” Izuna asks, eyes flickering side to side, before he finally meets Toru’s gaze in an attempt to pretend that it’s fine, <em>(and he’s certainly not thinking about how cute Tobirama’s laugh is or how good he looks smiling or-)</em>. “It could’ve been a number of things! Like… Like something someone was saying! Or how fluffy his hair might be. Or how strong he looks. Or how beautiful his eyes are.”</p><p>Toru’s laughing. Again. And Izuna does not appreciate it, though he does realise he might be digging himself a bigger hole here. Groaning, he sinks to the ground and wonders whether it’ll do him a favour and swallow him so he doesn’t have to face any embarrassment. Toru’s kind enough to sit down next to him.</p><p>“Hey, you’ll be alright,” Toru says, and somehow that’s even worse. He’s apparently pathetic enough to have Toru comforting him over his crush. “Maybe he’ll ask you out on a date when you don’t do it in the next five years.”</p><p>Izuna rolls over so his face is hidden by the grass. “He’ll never want to date me.”</p><p>“Don’t talk yourself like that,” Toru says, something sharp beneath his tone that warns of his seriousness. “You’re one of the best people I know and if Tobirama-san doesn’t know that, he certainly doesn’t deserve you.”</p><p>That’s enough to get Izuna rolling over again and this time resting his head in Toru’s lap. “You’re the best, you know that right?” He gets the pleasure of watching Toru blush and duck his head. “The actual best. I love you.”</p><p>“Love you too,” Toru says softly. And it might not solve anything, but at least Izuna always has someone to talk to about his woes—whether they be something infuriating his brother’s done or how pretty his crush is.</p><p>
  <em>(Izuna really, really hopes it’ll fade soon. Anytime now would be good. Preferably before he makes an embarrassment of himself again. Especially where Tobirama can see.)</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Izuna has a feeling that this is Toru’s fault somehow. Tobirama and him being sent on the same mission? It’s certainly never happened before and why would it—Izuna and Tobirama are some of the strongest in their respective clans, missions rarely require both of them.</p><p>Then again, this mission is politically important and has a high chance of fighting so perhaps it makes sense. But Izuna still has his doubts, though he keeps them to himself. What are the chances of this happening a week after he spoke to Toru about his crush for a little bit of time?</p><p>
  <em>(Toru would possibly disagree that a few hours isn’t a little bit of time but Toru isn’t here to argue so there</em>
  <em>.)</em>
</p><p>With a lot of effort, Izuna forces his mind into the present and focusses on the mission. They’re in a dingy ally, hidden by the shadows for the most part. However, they’re infiltrating as civilians for the most part. Their target, after all, is a civilian who they’ll have to approach when their guards leave them. All they need is one bit of information and then they’ll be set for their secondary objective, so long as no realises what information’s been shared of course.</p><p>“Two people are coming,” Tobirama says lowly, eyes flicking towards the back door.</p><p>“Know who it is?” Izuna asks quietly. “We might be able to move now-”</p><p>The door opens with a whinge of its hinges, cutting Izuna off. Neither him nor Tobirama stiffen, but Izuna can feel himself tense. There’s no reason for two civilians to be out here in an ally, especially at this time of night, without something suspicious happening and they can’t be found out.</p><p>Tobirama steps forward, blocks the minimal light so that everything turns to darkened shadows in Izuna’s vision, <em>(except for pale skin and red eyes)</em>. The strength of Tobirama’s gaze has Izuna shifting backwards, just enough for his back to hit the wall. Again, Tobirama steps forward, all strength and silence, every inch a ninja, <em>(a predator, and it’s enough that a thrill shoots through Izuna’s body, heady and darkened by desire)</em>.</p><p>A hand, careful and soft and gentle, <em>(and Izuna does not want to cry from it, he doesn’t)</em>, cups his face, resting on his cheek and Tobirama looks at him—like he cares, like he loves, <em>(and Izuna has none of this but he wants it, wants it like he wants everything, greedy enough to devour the sun)</em>.</p><p>Tobirama looks down at him, meets his gaze evenly. And-</p><p><em>Fuck</em>, Izuna thinks to himself, because Tobirama is almost a head taller than him and carefully has him backed against the wall and Izuna has had visions that go something like this. He breathes in, Tobirama’s scent surrounding him, and he can see nothing but Tobirama.</p><p>“Can I?” Tobirama asks, voice quiet and serious and—he <em>asks</em>. Perhaps Izuna should have expected it.</p><p>Wordlessly, Izuna nods. Tobirama leans down, and pauses, close enough that Izuna can feel Tobirama’s breath skate across his lips, trembling. Tilting his head up, Izuna presses his lips against Tobirama’s.</p><p>It’s almost awkward at first. Not practiced. Not quite smooth. For a heartbeat or two, Izuna feels his hands flutter around, not sure where to place them. But then he tilts his head, deepens the kiss, lets himself relax as Tobirama presses against him, strong and hard muscles. One of Izuna’s hands settles on Tobirama’s hip, the other lifts to cup the back of his neck.</p><p>
  <em>(Tobirama doesn’t tense, just remains relaxed—trusts Izuna, to have his back and rest a hand on his neck. It’s insane and it’s not just faked either. This is real. All of this is real. It’s trust and Izuna doesn’t know how he achieved this level of trust.)</em>
</p><p>Time doesn’t exist. There’s just Tobirama’s lips on his, the press of their bodies, his pounding heart.</p><p>Somewhere, in the distance, someone makes a noise of disgust. Izuna’s aware enough to notice this, he’s too occupied to find himself caring.</p><p>They part, breathe, and Izuna finds himself staring up at Tobirama. Both of their lips are kiss-swollen, and neither of them look fully coherent. It’s not quite strange, to see Tobirama so undone, but it’s far from normal either, <em>(and some part of Izuna is pleased to have made Tobirama look like that)</em>.</p><p>But- This is too close. Too much. This is a mission and nothing more and Izuna <em>has to remember that</em>. Tobirama- Tobirama doesn’t care for him like this. He did it for the mission. It’s just adrenaline making them like this, nothing more. So Izuna disengages, lets his gaze leave Tobirama’s and glance over towards the door instead. “I think we’re safe now,” he says.</p><p>For a moment, it seems like Tobirama won’t move, but then he does, stepping backward and leaving Izuna with his back to the wall, <em>(alone)</em>. “Let’s go,” the Senju says and-</p><p>And Izuna swallows and follows, <em>(what else can he do?)</em>.</p><p>
  <em>(He doesn’t curse Toru for getting him a mission with Tobirama. At the very least, Izuna knows his feelings aren’t returned now. At the very least, Izuna knows this will never really work. At the very least, Izuna knows there’s no point deluding himself by believing Tobirama could possibly like him.)</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>When he was younger, Tobirama made a mistake, <em>(not that he knows it now; he’ll figure it out in the future—but that is sometime off). </em></p><p>See, there are very few people Tobirama has learnt from, at least in terms of social interactions. Much of what Tobirama knows, and depends on, are things he’s been told by his brother or what he’s heard from Tōka.</p><p>
  <em>(It will not occur to Tobirama for a rather long time that Hashirama was, perhaps, not the best person to ask. After all, Hashirama was in a political marriage.)</em>
</p><p>Regardless, when Tobirama was younger he asked about dating, <em>(curiosity—not just for one thing, but for all things, even if his interests didn’t last all that long in some cases)</em>, Hashirama told him you had to ask their parents for permission first. Not that the knowledge had ever been needed—until now, that is.</p><p>
  <em>(He’s never really felt this way before either. He’s seen people, found them attractive, but there’s never been anything like this—nothing like Hashirama’s described. But now Tobirama’s starting to understand what Hashirama had meant by butterflies in your stomach. The desire to steal Izuna’s attention for himself is strong and Tobirama finds himself warring with his own thoughts and feelings too much. For so long, Tobirama has denied himself so many things—but this, this is something he can try to have for himself.)</em>
</p><p>It comes back to the kiss on the mission, though Tobirama knows it had been the best course of action to take at the time. The emotions that had come from it, the <em>realisations</em>, however, had not been so helpful. Not that Tobirama would take it back. He knows himself well enough to realise that he’s been feeling this way for some time, though it might not have been realised for a while.</p><p>And now Tobirama is here, heading towards where Toru normally trains, <em>(because he can tell that Toru is family to Izuna, even if it’s not by blood)</em>. Because he wants to try—for himself and for Izuna. He’s hopeful that Izuna feels the same. The signs of attraction are there, though he hadn’t realised what they were previously.</p><p>He can sense Toru the closer he gets. The Uchiha’s chakra is fluctuating in a way that warns of jutsus and training more than anything else. There’s nothing frantic to the changes, just a calm, steadiness that Tobirama has come to associate with the Uchiha the few times they have met.</p><p>On the edge of the training ground, Tobirama pauses and waits for Toru to come to him. Training ground courtesy isn’t something Tobirama’s too used to, but nobody is so at least they’re all on equal ground here.</p><p>A jutsu seemingly made of fire and wind dies down before Toru approaches. “That was an original of yours, wasn’t it?” Tobirama asks, recalling the image of a twister of fire in his head. “You’ve used it a few times on the battlefield.”</p><p>Toru seems to consider him for a heartbeat, before inclining his head. “It’s a jutsu of my own making,” he agrees. “Though it can hardly compare to some of your jutsus, it is useful on the battlefield. Less useful in areas with a lot of greenery however.”</p><p>For a moment, Tobirama wants to talk to Toru about it further. Jutsu creation isn’t very common, and Toru doesn’t even have the Sharingan to help him, but he <em>is</em> here for one reason. “I would like to ask you a question about Izuna-san,” he says.</p><p>
  <em>(There is a reason Tobirama has come to Toru first. Toru is kinder and less likely to kill him for asking than Madara is. And Tobirama needs to ask them both, but taking a small step first and then a larger one is usually the safest plan when walking on unstable ground.)</em>
</p><p>“I’m not his keeper,” Toru says, and there’s a warning beneath his words, “nor will I say anything about him that he wouldn’t tell you himself.”</p><p>It makes Tobirama glad that someone cares for Izuna to such an extent—someone other than Madara, that is. “I would like to date him with your permission,” he says, meeting Toru’s gaze evenly.</p><p>Something, Tobirama’s not sure what, crosses Toru’s face. “Izuna can make his own decisions,” Toru says, before a small smile appears, easing the tension that had started to creep up Tobirama’s spine, “but you have my permission to date him.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Tobirama says, before turning around and leaving. Madara should be heading home about now, so he should be able to catch the Uchiha out of the public eye. After all, it certainly won’t do to see Konoha’s citizens seeing two government figures arguing even if the matter is personal in nature.</p><p>Tobirama takes to the rooftops when he reaches Konoha proper rather than its many training grounds. There are only a few ninjas doing the same, and he nods them when he passes. For the most part, the majority of ninjas keep to the paths and only during the rush at the start and end of the day are the rooftop pathways busy.</p><p>It’s a short run to the Uchiha Clan Compound. Tobirama enters through the main gate, nodding to the two manning it. Although it’s not a very common sight, it’s not unusual to see him in the compound—though he’s often seen with someone rather than by himself.</p><p>“Tobirama-sama,” one of the Uchihas says, matching Tobirama’s pace. He glances at them. It’s Hikaku—third in command, and unwilling clan heir should it come to that. “May I ask what brings you here?”</p><p>“Hikaku-san,” he responds in greeting. “I need to talk to Madara-san about something.”</p><p>Hikaku hums. “Not about your brother this time?”</p><p>Tobirama grimaces, letting himself be open because he should be safe here. “Thankfully not,” he says. “I have told my brother if he ever did something like that again, I would tell Mito-san. As such, he’s promised to control himself.”</p><p>Hikaku shoots Tobirama an amused look. He might have only really got to know the Senjus recently, but there’s something about seeing someone run through the village crying who’s known as the ‘God of the Shinobi’ that makes them seem less intimidating. “Do you think that will stop him?”</p><p>“For a month perhaps,” Tobirama answers. They pause outside the house of the Clan Head. “Enjoy your evening.”</p><p>“You too,” Hikaku says before he walks away.</p><p>Meanwhile, Tobirama knocks sharply on the door. There’s no sound before Madara opens it, but that is to be expected—they are ninjas, after all. The door opens to reveal Madara looking rather surprised behind it. He looks ruffled, but then again he did just get home so perhaps it makes sense. “Tobirama-san,” Madara says, “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”</p><p>Facing Toru had seemed easier in comparison to this. Less dangerous, at the very least. Madara’s known to be his brother’s equal for very good reason. That doesn’t mean Tobirama won’t do this—he got this far and he wants this. “I would like your permission to date Izuna-san.”</p><p>“I- You- What?” Madara’s voice rises in volume, and Tobirama frowns. The question had been fairly straightforward and he wants to avoid yelling. “<em>Izuna</em>?”</p><p>“Yes,” Tobirama answers, tone leaning towards clipped. “I spoke to Toru-san and got his permission already.”</p><p>The silence stretches between them for minutes, before Madara eventually gives a slow nod. “If Izuna agrees, then you have my permission. But if you hurt him on purpose, no one will find your body. Or Toru will get there first and no one will even remember your name.”</p><p>Perhaps Toru is more dangerous than Tobirama had thought, if Madara is willing to leave much of the revenge to the younger Uchiha. Regardless, Tobirama is well and truly into his plan now—there’s only Izuna left to talk to, <em>(he hopes, with all his heart, that Izuna will agree; that Izuna will say yes; that Izuna wants him too)</em>.</p><p>***</p><p>Izuna accepts Tobirama’s invitation to a spar without much fumbling, <em>(anything Toru </em><em>says that disagrees is a <strong>lie</strong>)</em>. As he reaches the training ground, he realises that this might have been a mistake.</p><p>Tobirama’s not wearing his armour, which isn’t—it’s not common, but it’s not rare either. He doesn’t wear his armour when he’s comfortable, when he feels safe, and that means something here. Izuna doesn’t wear his armour either, but he doesn’t seem to be as attached to his as Tobirama is.</p><p>“Are you ready?” Izuna asks, forcing a smile on his face and his eyes to <em>not</em> stare at Tobirama’s arm muscles. He stretches his arms above his head instead and bounces lightly on his toes.</p><p>Tobirama nods, and the spar begins.</p><p>Sharingan activated, Izuna dodges the jutsu of water that tries to take out his feet. Rather than lunging forward, Izuna takes a different route and leans on his defence, slipping around blows and deflecting them.</p><p>He catches the downward tilt of Tobirama’s lips, <em>(don’t think about kissing them),</em> as he dodges yet again, and smiles in response. Tobirama’s expression becomes a fierce snarl, <em>(his eyes are so beautiful—don’t get distracted)</em>, in response.</p><p>As always when they spar, they both control their aggression. Izuna’s always found it to be something beautiful. Muscles tense and perfectly controlled, strength and grace incarnate, <em>(Izuna is in love)</em>. Izuna twirls between an attack, being overly showy on purpose, and spots how Tobirama’s eyes turn dagger-sharp and narrow. The spar ramps up.</p><p><em>This</em> is what Izuna wants. The speed and fury that comes from Tobirama that pushes and pushes Izuna until he’s hard-pressed to keep up. But it’s more than that, it’s the irritation that comes from Izuna deflecting and blocking and never really being the aggressor. And that is what causes Tobirama to make a mistake.</p><p>He doesn’t overreach or make any rookie error, but he expects Izuna to deflect and dodge—and for the first time, Izuna doesn’t. Ducking, Izuna takes the initiative and plants a heavy blow against Tobirama’s sternum, shoving the other shinobi back. Tobirama staggers, finds his footing, and tries to ground himself. But the momentum has changed and now Izuna has the advantage.</p><p>Layering a bunch of genjutsu, Izuna subtly places one on the surroundings rather than just on Tobirama. Quickly, Tobirama fractures the first couple and manages all but the one placed on the surroundings. Izuna shoves forward, sweeping out with one leg, and Tobirama stumbles over a root that he hadn’t seen—hadn’t known was there thanks to the genjutsu.</p><p>Even as Tobirama snaps out of the genjutsu, Izuna lunges forward, slamming into Tobirama and knocking him onto the ground. For half a minute, it’s a wrestling match before Izuna finally manages to pin Tobirama to the ground, and Tobirama gives in with a double tap to Izuna’s shoulder.</p><p>Breathing heavily, Izuna smiles as he meets Tobirama’s gaze. Then he realises the position he’s in and, swallowing, scrambles to get up. Tobirama follows slower, and when he’s standing, he meets Izuna’s eyes. And-</p><p>And there’s something there. Something strong and certain and it makes Izuna want to drop his gaze, <em>(makes him want to smile, to run his hands through Tobirama’s silver hair, to kiss his lips, to touch—but he can’t do that and so holds himself back)</em>. “I have a question for you,” Tobirama says. “You don’t have to answer. If you don’t wish to.” For someone who’s usually concise and put together, Tobirama is strangely not. Maybe he’s sick.</p><p>The silence stretches until Izuna grows sick of it and narrows his eyes. “Are you going to ask me or not?”</p><p>“Right,” Tobirama says, voice hoarser than normal. “I was- I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me?”</p><p>Izuna blinks and waits for reality to set in. When it doesn’t after multiple heartbeats, he asks, “Could you repeat that? I think I misheard you.”</p><p>In response, Tobirama frowns. “You don’t have to make fun of me,” he snaps, strangely harsh.</p><p>“No! I don’t mean to-” Izuna cuts of his words with a swallow. His throat feels tight and his body is full of tingles and- and what if Tobirama wants what he wants? What if-</p><p>“I just- You want to date me?” He manages at last, stumbling over his words, <em>(but not over his feet, at the very least)</em>. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“I’d hardly ask if I wasn’t,” Tobirama says, with narrowed eyes and a sharp look—Izuna has an awful feeling that he’s hurt Tobirama’s feelings. Which won’t do. Not at all.</p><p>Slowly enough that Tobirama can pull away if he wants, Izuna reaches out to hold Tobirama’s hand. Not hard just enough to be felt, just enough to be a presence, <em>(just enough to show that he cares)</em>. “I want to date you,” he says, weak at the knees but wanting, wanting so very much. “I have for a while, if you hadn’t noticed.”</p><p>Tobirama blinks, and then laughs. The sun creates a halo around him and he is <em>gorgeous</em>. Izuna doesn’t know how he got this lucky—but he wants this moment forever, Sharingan spinning so that he has it remembered forevermore. “Is that why you walked into a tree the other week?”</p><p>Izuna squawks but doesn’t deny it. Can’t deny it—not when Tobirama’s looking at him like that. “I’ll have you know that- that…” He trails off, meets Tobirama’s curious eyes and smiles. “I was distracted by your beauty.”</p><p>Tobirama raises an eyebrow. “For a ninja, you’re very easily distracted.”</p><p>“Hey!” Izuna says, flailing without letting go of Tobirama’s hand, <em>(not when Tobirama’s holding him as well)</em>. “I’ll have you know I’m a great ninja!”</p><p>“Mmm,” Tobirama says, seemingly in agreement. He steps forward and Izuna’s protests about his ninja abilities die off. Instead, he swallows, pinned by Tobirama’s gaze. It almost feels like an echo of their mission—but there’s no shadows, no hiding, and- and there’s emotions here. It’s not just for a mission.</p><p>Looking up at Tobirama’s face, Izuna lifts a hand and places it carefully around the back of Tobirama’s neck. “May I?” He asks.</p><p>“Yes,” Tobirama whispers and ducks his head to kiss Izuna.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter pretty much follows straight on from the last one, hence why there's no mention of the time changing. Anyway, don't know if there'll be many notes for this one (and I see your comments everyone, but I'm a little bit busy so you aren't getting much out of me until I finally get around to writing them. </p><p>Can I just mention I didn't expect Izuna or Toru to spend their time pranking Madara? But they do and it's great. I approve (they're kids, let them have fun).</p><p>How many times have I used the imagery or something similar to 'spit sparks' for the Uchiha? Listen. It's such a fun little saying and I love it. It's an Uchiha Clan thing. I have declared it and so it is.</p><p>I'd also like to mention that Izuna's thoughts towards the end of the last chapter was SO off. We really see the contrast in Izuna's thoughts when he argues about Toru being on the frontlines with Madara. A massive point of difference between Madara and Izuna, and Toru is the fact that neither Madara or Izuna know anything <i>but</i> the war. Toru, on the other hand, does know peace. And he doesn't see a reason for the war. So he hates as he kills child after child (they are all children), but he does it anyway. Can hardly do anything else. </p><p>If you think you have a concussion, do not be a Toru. Get it checked out! Even if its minor, better safe than sorry, and this way you can probably recover faster? No I'm definitely not talking about that time I had a headache for a few days and was pretty sure I had gotten a concussion but did nothing about it. Moving on.</p><p>Toru really is just here being like caution? No thanks! Like not everyone who you vaguely liked in your past life will be good people Toru. Please stop doing that. That said, they don't kill him so it is working out for the better I guess.</p><p>Anyway, you can see in the Uzumaki, Tobirama, and Toru scene how I decided that realism could get fucked because I was gunning towards the end of this fic with everything I was. But that's fine.</p><p>Tobirama's characterisation might be out of character? He was such a hard character to write. But, once again, I was like fuck it, we're going for the end. </p><p>Not saying I almost forgot about Madara and hurried to sneak him in with a scene for him and Izuna. BUT, I absolutely did. He's just no longer that major here I guess.</p><p>Izuna is an overdramatic bitch and I will not be taking criticism. I love this characterisation of him. (Thanks Silver.)</p><p>Hashirama is also overdramatic but more in a blubbering mess kind of way who keeps <i>crying</i> and Izuna has no idea what to do with all that. He makes it Madara's problem and Madara, protests aside, is probably very happy about this.</p><p>ROMANCE IS THE WORST!! How do people write it??? What are these feelings????? Writing people kissing?? Crushes?? Attraction??? Like no thanks, I can't write that? But I tried!! Because Silver chanted TobiIzu and now we're arriving to that point. I'm so sorry to put all of you through this attempt at writing romance. Hopefully it wasn't too bad but, wow, I struggled so so much. Massive shout out to Silver for dealing with me sending question marks her way and being like 'HELP??' because she was an actual legend and helped me get through it. Somehow.</p><p>(Also Izuna is the most mature adult to Ever. Really. He is. He gave himself the number 1 spot!)</p><p>Very likely Tobirama gets even more OOC towards the end here and I decided to just let it work with timeskips and all other sorts of things. Maybe he changed from his canon characterisation. It's about slamming towards the end at high speed, not about things making sense along the way (right? Not really, but anyway).</p><p>That's all I've really got for this chapter. Hope you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm sure you're wondering, what happens next? Well, great news! I have a chapter for that. </p>
<p>This chapter includes relationships, communication, some more relationships, softness, love, bad days, and tattoos. This chapter sees a happy ending. But this chapter is not the end. There's one more to go.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Warnings for this chapter:</b> I'm not sure how much of a warning this chapter requires, but Toru has some bad days? Well. A number of bad days. And he's just aware of that spiral as well. If you want more information, mention it in a comment and I'll get back to you straight away.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tobirama and Izuna are good together. Toru sees it in their gentle touches, in their mannerisms, in the way they turn to each other and always, <em>always</em>, check on each other. They don’t coddle each other, and at first it seems like nothing has really changed. But it has. They care for each other, not obviously so in public, but when they’re home and safe? It’s so easy to see.</p>
<p>They’re soft with each other. The same way that Izuna’s soft and gentle when he’s with his family.</p>
<p>The only obvious sign that their relationship has really changed, in the public eye at least, is that they spend more time together. Izuna will have meals with Tobirama, whether it be out in Konoha or in the latter’s office, and Tobirama goes searching for Izuna to spend time with or spar.</p>
<p>Toru’s happy for them. He is, really. But… Well. It doesn’t really matter what Toru feels, <em>(how can it when they’re so happy together?)</em>. When Tobirama and Izuna are over, he makes himself scarce. He’s sure they want time to themselves. He knows Madara does the same, though Madara seems endlessly busy all the time.</p>
<p>That’s not to say they don’t stop and pause and all spend time together. Breakfasts are usually for Madara, Izuna, and Toru. It brings back memories of before Konoha but still of good times. Occasionally, Tobirama is there for dinner alongside the rest of Izuna’s family, and sometimes it’s just Madara and Toru, with Izuna as the obvious gap.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Toru is happy for Izuna. And for Madara as well. In Konoha, they both seem so happy and content. They love the village and its people, and peace is such a good look for them. They’re always working but they’re smiling more, their shoulders more at ease. And… and Toru feels the same. But Konoha is strange too. Konoha’s a place Toru had once known. It’s not the same, far from it really, even as the village builds itself from the ground up. It’s a different village, different paths, but it’s similar enough that Toru feels strange walking through it. The village feels off and… Well, there’s no point wanting impossible things.)</em>
</p>
<p>Without Izuna though, Toru’s time is largely spent doing nothing. He’s not really in any position to do anything. He has no claim to power, no claim to an important position, <em>(and, some days, he’s thankful for that; thankful down to his very bones that he doesn’t have anything resting on his shoulders, heavy and difficult to bear)</em>. But Toru doesn’t know what to do, without the endless fighting and missions.</p>
<p>And maybe that’s on him. He doesn’t really reach out for friends, doesn’t try to make allies, not in this new, <em>(different)</em>, Konoha.</p>
<p>
  <em>(There are too many ghosts in Konoha. Future ghosts, ones that will never exist in this world—not if Toru has a say in it, but they cluster around Toru and sometimes he can’t help but look for the people who will never come. The people he’s never had in this life. He thought after so many years, he finally would’ve stopped looking for them. But it seems like it wasn’t to be.)</em>
</p>
<p>He does, however, find solace with Mito. She’s whip-smart and fūinjutsu master and is willing to share her knowledge with Toru, <em>(and he struggles to keep what he knows from her, because there are too many similarities in the styles to easily be explained away)</em>. But Mito has things to do as well, she has a clan to run as Hashirama does his best to keep the village running smoothly with Madara at his side.</p>
<p>So Toru takes to wandering lonely paths, picking up random patrols to run with for the village. It doesn’t fill all the time, but it does wear away at some hours. The rest of the time he spends by training. What else can he do? He has no skills and nothing to offer. He’s built a half-burnt village up from its ruins, but he oversaw things then. Dealt with problems as they arose. That isn’t his position here, <em>(now)</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>(On his best days, he’s grateful. He’s built one village and he loved it, though it weighed heavy on him. Konoha isn’t Uzushio, never could be Uzushio, and he loves Uzushio fiercely. He loves Uzushio so much that Konoha couldn’t compare, but he cares for Konoha. Cares for the people here, cares for those he loves.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(On his worst days, he hates it. He hates that he has nothing to do, that he’s falling to pieces over something so small. Some days he wants to remember he has a purpose in life. Some days he wants to bring the Konoha he knows from his past roaring into his present. But the world doesn’t work like that. He doesn’t really want it to either. But…)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(Konoha should be home so why is he so unhappy here?)</em>
</p>
<p>He knows he’s spiralling. Can feel it sometimes. The way his body tenses out in Konoha proper, the way he avoids people. His muscles ache from training and he just wants to keep fighting. It’s all he knows here and he can’t do anything else.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He wants to scream to the sky and the sea and never stop. His soul is a fractured, bleeding thing. He wants someone to help. He wants people he no longer has. He just wants- wants-)</em>
</p>
<p>It’s a normal day when something changes. He’s slipping through katas from Uzushio—one that isn’t made for fighting but calms him down. It’s all he can do it feels, to keep a hold of himself and not fall to pieces. He speeds through the motions. Again and again and again. His breathe stutters in his throat, heart beating fiercely, and he wants to let go, <em>(wants to drop and never get up, but he won’t—he never will)</em>.</p>
<p>“Hey,” someone says just before he slips into the kata for the nth time. He looks up, catches Izuna staring at him, a worried expression on his face. He pauses, swallows, and feels his body tremble from exertion. “Hey,” Izuna repeats, stepping closer, voice soft, and he closes the distance between them. “Are you alright?”</p>
<p>Toru closes his eyes against the words, against the softness, the kindness, the gentleness. He breathes out, breathe hitching, and his eyes itch something fierce but he won’t cry. “I’m fine,” he says, voice hoarse.</p>
<p>A hand rests on his face, so kind and gentle, and Toru flinches from it. “I’m fine,” he says, but his voice only gets weaker rather than stronger.</p>
<p>“It’s okay to not be, you know,” Izuna says, voice barely a whisper. It’s so gentle and so kind and Toru can feel himself bracing for something. He’s not sure what he’s bracing against though. “Hey, easy,” Izuna says. “You’re with me and we’re safe. Talk to me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you want to hear,” he answers, words pulled out from his mouth by Izuna rather than choice. He keeps his eyes closed, <em>(he doesn’t know what he’ll see, doesn’t want to see pity or kindness or anything because he might just break and- and he can’t break; he <strong>can’t</strong></em><em>).</em></p>
<p>A measured breath, and then Izuna says, “Anything you want to say. Anything you want to give me. Even things I don’t want to hear. Just talk to me, Toru.”</p>
<p>Stubbornly, he remains silent. He doesn’t have anything to say, <em>(if he speaks, he’ll shatter and won’t be able to pull himself back together)</em>.</p>
<p>“Why haven’t you spoken to me properly in months? Why do you walk around Konoha like a ghost? This is peace, and you should look better for it, but somehow you look worse. Fighting was killing you and yet somehow peace is even worse.”</p>
<p>The words hit him like a blow and he almost staggers from it. He opens his eyes and meets Izuna’s gaze. Izuna stares at him, calm and steady and a rock, and- and loves him. Loves him openly and cares and is gentle and kind, <em>(all these things Toru doesn’t deserve)</em>. “We’re together here. Lean on me, <em>please</em>.”</p>
<p>Maybe it’s the please that does it, maybe it’s something else, maybe it’s the way Izuna presses his tattoo of a northern star against Toru’s skin and reminds him of who they are to each other, what they are.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Toru spits out, and he curls his body around Izuna, pulling him tight. He buries his head in Izuna’s shoulder and doesn’t speak. Soundlessly, he sobs, tears falling from his eyes. He cries for families lost, for a Konoha he will never have, for the people he will never see again. He cries because this is peace and he hates it. He cries because Izuna is here and Izuna cares and Toru’s not alone and- and he’s allowed to be weak.</p>
<p>
  <em>(There’s no weakness here, Toru knows but somehow it feels like there should be. After so long fighting in a war on the frontlines, it feels like caring is a vulnerability that he can’t show. But this is peace. And he knows it’s peace and he knows he can trust it because it remains. And yet he feels like he can’t.) </em>
</p>
<p>Izuna holds him. Stands steady. And he’s just there, arms around Toru and holding him, but not caging him—never caging him. “Easy,” he whispers to Toru, hushed and kind and soft, <em>(and Toru loves him so, so much)</em>. “I’ve got you.” He pauses, then adds, “You don’t have to pull yourself together. You don’t have to be- don’t have to be together or whatever. You’re allowed to show cracks and fall apart and be like this the whole time. It’s not just a one-off. I’m here. Forever.”</p>
<p>Slowly, Toru breathes in and breathes out. He feels calmer now. Or maybe not calmer, but tired in a way that only crying ever makes him. “I think-” He bites off his word. “Later.” He doesn’t know whether he’ll stick to the decision, can’t even bring himself to care, but he’s tired and exhausted and feels generally shitty. The only good thing is that Izuna’s here. “I want to go home,” he says and he allows himself that much. Allows Izuna that much, though he has a vague feeling Izuna would take anything and nothing if that’s what Toru wanted.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He can’t stop thinking. Wants to but can’t. Always on alert, always awake, always thinking. It winds him up and drags him down and there’s nothing to just make him pause and slow down—or there is, but it’s Izuna and Izuna has his own life to live. So Toru keeps thinking, wonders what Izuna makes of his answer. If Izuna thinks that home is the old compound or something else. He doesn’t know what answer he wants to here. All of them. None of them. What does it matter?)</em>
</p>
<p>“I’ve got you,” Izuna answers. “Let’s go—back, yeah?” The last minute change from home to back is obvious, but Toru can’t bring himself to care. Can’t bring himself to feel. “We can have some alone time. I haven’t seen you in ages. We can just relax. I’ll take the day off and you can tell me what you’ve been up to! If you want, that is. We don’t have to talk. Or I can talk. I bet you I know all the gossip going in Konoha, and some of it is <em>spicy</em>.”</p>
<p>In the face of Izuna’s chatter, Toru lets himself relax and walk beside the other shinobi. He doesn’t pay attention to Izuna’s words, doesn’t really feel much, but just follows. There’s too much to think and he has no energy and the whole world is falling apart around him, <em>(but Izuna’s here and maybe… maybe he’ll help, tape the pieces back together, watch Toru’s back as he fails to stand guard)</em>.</p>
<p>When they reach home, Toru doesn’t want to do anything, and Izuna seems to see this. “C’mon,” he says tugging Toru out into the sunshine where they won’t be seen from the main street. He drops down onto the ground, flopping about and Toru forces a small smile to his face at the sight, but it falls quickly. “Let’s just enjoy the sunshine without doing anything.”</p>
<p>As he settles down next to Izuna, Toru has to ask the one question that’s buzzing around his mind. “You don’t mind me distracting you from Tobirama-san?”</p>
<p>“First of all,” Izuna says, in a tone much more serious than Toru had expected, “you are never a distraction. I would want to be with you here and helping you. You’re family, you got that? Tobirama is my boyfriend, but that doesn’t make you less important or him more important. Second of all, Tobirama doesn’t mind me being here or spending time with you. You know you’re his friend as well right? He cares for you too.”</p>
<p>The urge to apologise still sits on Toru’s tongue, but he swallows it down in the comfort of Izuna’s words. “Thanks,” he says at last, the word more a sigh than anything else. He closes his eyes and rolls so he’s closer to Izuna. With the warm sun overhead and Izuna breathing next to him, sure and steady and strong, it’s easy to fall asleep.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Easy to ignore the problems that are piling on his shoulders. Conversations he should probably have and feelings he should deal with. It’s easier to turn away and close his eyes—and for now, he can do that. With Izuna here and watching over him, it feels safe to be vulnerable and weak.)</em>
</p>
<p>And Izuna? He stays awake, watches Toru, and wonders how he let it get this bad. Wonders how he didn’t notice. Wonders and decides to do better.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The thing with Toru is that sometimes Izuna forgets that he’s really a kid, <em>(only sixteen years old), </em>Izuna’s not really a kid, not any more. Even if Toru’s been fighting for just as long, and always seems older than he really is, he’s still young.</p>
<p>More than that though, Toru frequently falls back onto the thinking that he is alone. And though he has broken down before, <em>(Izuna has been there for it, and there’s nothing he could do but hold Toru in the aftermath and vow to never let him be alone)</em>, it’s not ever been something like this.</p>
<p>Because this isn’t a fast breakdown. This has been something slow occurring over weeks and months. It doesn’t make sense because Izuna had never seen it coming. He… He doesn’t think it’s just due to Tobirama either, even before that something was wrong and Izuna had simply assumed it was because everything was new.</p>
<p>But it wasn’t. He sees that now. He sees how Toru has clung to fighting as being the only skill he had, like he’s not capable of doing anything else. And he is! He is and Izuna wants to rage because Toru doesn’t see that. How can Toru not see that? He’s kind and gentle and loves and- and Izuna <em>loves</em> him. But love isn’t enough to save someone. No matter how much of it Izuna has.</p>
<p>He can be there though. It’s the only thing he can do and it’s the only thing that will work. This isn’t a problem Izuna can fight, though it would make things so much easier.</p>
<p>When Toru wakes up, Izuna is there. Toru’s still quiet. Keeps his thoughts to himself, and Izuna wants to shield him from the world. That’s impossible though—more so than the whole idea of peace at first.</p>
<p>“You with me?” He asks, nudging Toru with his shoulder.</p>
<p>Toru stretches. “Yeah,” he says, and he still sounds so tired. What can Izuna do though to help?</p>
<p>“Let’s go for a walk,” Izuna decides, because he’s recently seen a garden that the Yamanaka Clan had created and nurtured and it’s beautiful. He doubts Toru’s seen it, and he wants to share some of that beauty, try to avoid Toru thinking about other things.</p>
<p>Toru hums but gets to his feet. “Alright,” he says. “Let’s go.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The fourth day of spending time with Toru starts fine. But by lunchtime, Toru’s on edge and keeps looking at Izuna strangely. Eventually, Izuna decides to take the kunai and ask. “What is it?” He says.</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t you be working or something? What about Tobirama-san? Don’t you normally meet with him for lunch today?” The barrage of questions isn’t strange, but it is the most energetic Toru’s been for a while. And it’s clearly something that’s been eating him.</p>
<p>“You come first,” he tells Toru evenly. He wants to hammer it into Toru’s head, but that hasn’t worked yet so he’ll settle for repeating it as many times as Toru needs. “And Tobirama understands that.”</p>
<p>“You can’t put your life on hold for me,” Toru says. “Or just give up on things to spend time with me.”</p>
<p>“And I won’t,” Izuna says, meeting and holding Toru’s gaze. “I was going to have a late lunch with Tobirama today. I have meetings tomorrow to attend to. But I want to spend time with you. I’ve missed you. If you want, though, Tobirama has asked me to extend an invitation to join us at lunch.”</p>
<p>Toru narrows his eyes at Izuna before he nods. “Sounds good,” he says, then gives Izuna a smile that seems realer than anything else he’s done in the past few weeks. “Are you going to drop your chopsticks again?”</p>
<p>“That was one time!” Izuna says, and he’s glad to see Toru laugh at his words. His eyes light up and he seems so much happier, so much younger.</p>
<p>“It was twice,” Toru says knowingly. “Now, I know you said lunch later but what are the chances Tobirama-san’s free now?”</p>
<p>Izuna glances at Toru, but he seems happier, content in his skin. Focussed. It’s good, and Izuna is thankful. “He hasn’t got any meetings now, just the paperwork leftover from this morning’s meetings,” he says.</p>
<p>“Alright,” Toru says, swinging left to cut through a side alley that Izuna hadn’t really paid any attention to. Following, Izuna watches curiously as Toru stalks through Konoha as if he knows where everything is. They end up in front of a small stall. “Do you know what Tobirama-san will want?” Toru asks, and Izuna nods.</p>
<p>They order the food, the food vendor even greeting Toru by name. It takes Izuna back because whilst Toru still holds himself so separate for Konoha and most people outside of the Uchiha Clan, they still know him. Know him enough to call him by his first name.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Toru holds people at bay, Izuna knows. He did so as a child and even now, though he’s better at getting along with people, he does the same. Izuna can only guess at the reasons, but it doesn’t matter. Toru holds people at arm’s length but cares for them, deeply, and it only hurts him to keep a distance.)</em>
</p>
<p>Rather than wandering back through the streets, largely because Izuna has a feeling he might end up getting lost, they take to the rooftops. They travel at an easy pace, talking and chattering as they do so. Toru is animate now. A good day indeed.</p>
<p>This is the Toru that Izuna loves to see, because he’s happy. Izuna loves Toru, always will, but when he’s happy, everything seems better. The world’s a brighter place.</p>
<p>Rather than entering the building properly, Izuna scales the side and slides through a window that he opens and into Tobirama’s office. Although slower and more hesitant, Toru still follows.</p>
<p>Upon seeing them, Tobirama raises an eyebrow. “You’re early,” he tells Izuna, and then to Toru says, “It’s good to see you.”</p>
<p>“You too,” Toru instantly replies, and it sounds sincere to Izuna’s ears, <em>(which he’s glad about, he wants Toru and Tobirama to get along)</em>. “We brought you lunch.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Tobirama says, as he takes the food container from Izuna. “I can clear you a space to eat, if you want?”</p>
<p>“Nah,” Izuna says, and instead he takes a seat on the ground in front of Tobirama’s desk.</p>
<p>Tobirama frowns down at him, but it’s playful more than anything else, and Izuna grins back. Patting the ground next to him, he says, “Join me!”</p>
<p>In contrast, Toru doesn’t hesitate—though he is used to Izuna’s actions, so maybe that explains his lack of hesitation. It doesn’t take long for Tobirama to join them, but he does shut the door first.</p>
<p>For the most part, Tobirama has an open door policy. He has it open so anyone can come in and ask questions, and it’s only ever closed for meetings or if he’s not in. If Tobirama is shutting the door, it’s because he cares enough to not have any business while they talk and eat lunch. If it’s important, Izuna knows Tobirama will answer, and he wouldn’t want anything else. But he’s glad that they make time for it.</p>
<p>“How has your day been?” Tobirama asks, slightly awkwardly, but asking both Toru and Izuna. Attempting to involve Toru rather than letting him fade into the background.</p>
<p>“Pretty good,” Toru agrees. “The sunshine has been beautiful as well.”</p>
<p>Between mouthfuls, Izuna voices his agreement. “Plus, we got to see you!”</p>
<p>Tobirama smiles, eyes warm and beautiful. “It is good to see you,” he agrees. “I’ve not done much. Mainly paperwork. Though there were meetings this morning.”</p>
<p>“Anything really important?” Izuna asks, and Toru looks interested, even though he doesn’t have any role in the running of the government or the village, <em>(he always seems to know what’s going in, though, but Izuna hasn’t figured out why that is yet)</em>.</p>
<p>“Everything’s important,” Tobirama points out, “but nothing overly major. We went over some of the Academy work.”</p>
<p>“When’s that going ahead?” Toru asks. “I heard that most of the clans were trying to share the bulk of the teaching around rather than separating children by clans.”</p>
<p>“The building’s complete,” Tobirama says, meeting Toru’s gaze as he answers. “There’s still a few things to smooth over and figure out teachers, but much of the coursework has been figured out.”</p>
<p>“Do you know if civilian-born children are currently involved in classes? I know there’s not many civilian families around, but some of them might want to become ninjas in the future,” Toru says.</p>
<p>Tilting his head, Tobirama considers it. “That’s a curious point. I don’t believe it’s come up. Not yet, at least. I’ll speak to the others during our next meeting though. Thank you for bringing this up, Toru-san.”</p>
<p>“Just Toru please. After all, you’re partners with Izuna and I hope we’ll be good friends in the future.”</p>
<p>“Tobirama, then.”</p>
<p>Sniffing theatrically, Izuna wipes a non-existent tear from his eye. “I’m so glad you’re getting along,” he says, and has to hide a smile when Tobirama and Toru exchange eye-rolls.</p>
<p>“Over how silly you are,” Toru replies, teasingly. “You are <em>very</em> dramatic.”</p>
<p>“Me? Dramatic? Never!”</p>
<p>“You might be a little bit dramatic,” Tobirama says. “I seem to remember you getting a papercut the other day and saying it would be the wound to kill you.”</p>
<p>“It might’ve been!” Izuna protests. “Papercuts are very painful I’ll have you know! Not all of us are healers who can rid ourselves of them in heartbeats.”</p>
<p>Both Toru and Tobirama laugh, though the latter hides it more than the former. Izuna smiles at them both, <em>(and loves them with everything he is)</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Toru is strange, but so are most ninjas so Tobirama doesn’t think it’s too unusual. His closeness with Izuna isn’t odd, nor is his softness when they’re in private spaces—Tobirama, after all, is the same.</p>
<p>What’s strange about Toru is how much he knows and yet doesn’t use. Tobirama remembers the boy who came with the Uzumaki-nins and spoke about fūinjutsu like it was an old friend, <em>(like it was something he grew up with, like it was part of his soul)</em>.</p>
<p>All too soon, Izuna isn’t the one bridging the gap between Toru and him—they’re managing it by themselves. Even when Izuna isn’t around, whether he be on a mission or doing something, Tobirama finds himself willing to spend time with Toru. Sometimes they just have silence and sometimes they talk. No matter what it is, it’s always good.</p>
<p>Occasionally, Tobirama even talks through his problems with Toru. An idea that isn’t quite working, be it a jutsu or government problem. A process that still has issues constantly arising that Tobirama just can’t get his head around. More often than not, Toru gives advice and offers solutions, but sometimes he just provides a listening ear which is all Tobirama needs.</p>
<p>It’s good. It’s not what Tobirama expected from asking Izuna to date him. He knows, abstractly, that family comes along with the person you date, but it’s different from reality, <em>(and Toru is family, that much has always been obvious)</em>.</p>
<p>Previously, Tobirama might’ve been hesitant to call Toru and him friends. They are now though, that’s for sure. And Toru is easy to be around, smart enough to follow Tobirama’s thoughts and strong enough to relax around. He’s… He gained Tobirama’s trust easily, somehow, and maybe that’s because Izuna vouched for him but Tobirama thinks it’s largely because of who Toru is.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He doesn’t know how Toru managed to become a ninja and remain a ninja. Toru is kind and gentle and loves deeply and fiercely. Tobirama understands protection, but sometimes he wonders about Toru who hesitates to deal final blows when it’s not to protect someone. At least, Tobirama wonders about this until he sees Toru come back from a hard mission that required multiple targets dead. He saw then how Toru was almost torn apart—he would never say no, but maybe he didn’t know what was a choice.)</em>
</p>
<p>However, Toru is also good for how he helps Izuna. Tobirama’s aware of who he is, how he responds to people, and he can’t always accept physical affection. The tactility that Izuna brings into the relationship, while sometimes wanted and appreciated, occasionally has Tobirama shifting away, uncomfortable. Toru, on the other hand, is open to this and easy around it. The times when Toru has been there and Tobirama uncomfortable, Izuna has stuck beside Toru—and Tobirama doesn’t mind. He doesn’t think the other two realise how it goes, doesn’t really think Izuna has picked up on it.</p>
<p>Which is why Tobirama is standing outside Izuna’s office with lunch in his hands for a change. Izuna and he need to talk. Izuna’s mentioned communication at length. It’s vital for a relationship—even Mito has said so, <em>(and Tobirama has learnt that asking Hashirama for help in this situation is not the wisest decision he’s ever made)</em>.</p>
<p>“You can come in,” Izuna says after Tobirama knocks on the door. He enters, feet padding silently on the wooden floorboards and avoiding the three that creak near the door.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Tobirama says, as he closes the door behind him, knowing that Izuna would appreciate it. “I brought lunch.”</p>
<p>“Thank you!” Izuna says, brightening at the sight of it, he makes grabby hands at Tobirama who smiles, and hands it over. “How’s your day been?”</p>
<p>“Rather unremarkable,” Tobirama says, moving a chair closer to Izuna’s desk. “I did want to talk to you about something.”</p>
<p>“Nothing bad, I hope,” Izuna says, voice almost joking but not quite.</p>
<p>Tobirama reaches out and claims Izuna’s hand, rubbing his thumb over Izuna’s knuckles. “Nothing bad,” he confirms. “Just a conversation about boundaries.”</p>
<p>The tension in Izuna’s expression relaxes somewhat. It doesn’t disappear fully, but it does ease, which is the best Tobirama could’ve hoped for. “Alright,” Izuna says, attention focussed on Tobirama rather than his food.</p>
<p>And, well, perhaps that’s what Tobirama should’ve expected. Better to talk first and eat after, <em>(even if eating after occurs alone to lick his wounds)</em>—at least he got cold food rather than hot food.</p>
<p>“You’ve probably noticed how I am not the most… tactile,” Tobirama says, the words stilted and awkward.</p>
<p>Izuna, though, just nods and seems at ease, as if he doesn’t notice the awkwardness, although Tobirama knows he definitely does.</p>
<p>Wrestling with his thoughts, Tobirama attempts to figure out his words. He came in prepared and ready with something to say, but his thoughts seem to have fled from him, escaping reaching fingers. “I don’t mind physical affection, but sometimes I don’t want it. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t mind sitting beside you or talking, but touch is beyond me. And, I think, I will want time apart in the future as well. Time where we might not see each other even though we’re both in-village.”</p>
<p>Izuna squeezes Tobirama’s hand and he feels his shoulders ease. If Izuna is still here and listening, not angry and not striking out and not resentful, maybe there is a chance that they will be alright.</p>
<p>“I have noticed that,” Izuna agrees, when it’s clear that Tobirama is no longer talking. “But I wasn’t sure whether it was me or something else. Do you-” He cuts himself off with a click of his tongue, looking irritated—not at Tobirama, but struggling to find his words. “How do you want to do this? I’m not- I don’t mind that you’re not physically affectionate or as tactile as I am. But you need to tell me when you don’t want touch. We have our warning signs; we can use these here. But… <em>I</em> need touch. Not necessarily sexual, but still something.”</p>
<p>“The warning signs will work,” Tobirama agrees. “I will try to voice these, but- You won’t mind if I stay away for a while?”</p>
<p>“You’ll need to tell me. I will want to hear about it beforehand, you can’t just disappear without warning. That’s not fair on me or our relationship. Communication is necessary.”</p>
<p>“I can do that,” Tobirama says. “I can usually tell when I need to just… disappear from people for a while. When it gets too much and being social is exhausting.” He pauses, considering, because Izuna has already picked up on many of his non-vocal cues, noticing when he doesn’t want physical contact and being there when he doesn’t mind or when he wants it. Sometimes Izuna initiates it and sometimes he does, and—more often than not—it works.</p>
<p>“What we have already, it works well and I enjoy it—enjoy being with you. But I thought it would be important to put this out now, before anything happens,” he continues. “And, on the topic of you wanting touch… I assume you seek it from your brother, but your relationship with Toru. How does that work?”</p>
<p>Frowning, Tobirama tries to pick through his words. “Toru often joins us. And you’re at ease with him. Not quite…” He bites back an irritated sigh, because he doesn’t know how to describe what he sees, just knows what he is seeing is something, <em>(Toru and Izuna are not brothers, but still family, they’re close and it’s not romantic but it doesn’t seem strictly like the friendship Tobirama has seen before—but perhaps he’s not the best person to talk about that.)</em></p>
<p>“It’s hard to describe,” Izuna says. “I told you a little bit about how we met, yeah?”</p>
<p>“On the battlefield when you were both children.”</p>
<p>“Yes. Toru… wasn’t in a great place back then. He was alone. And at first, it was because he was clan. You look after clan and care for them and make sure they’re happy and okay and living and surviving. But it’s hard to get to know Toru without becoming friends with him. And loving him. It’s not… You’re right, it’s not quite friendship. Something more, almost. A step up, perhaps? Or maybe a step to the side.” Izuna shrugs and gestures helplessly. “I don’t know how to describe it, it just <em>is</em>. We call it friendship or call each other partners. Labels aren’t necessary to us, it’s more for others than anything else.”</p>
<p>Tobirama nods, not quite understanding, but understanding the depth of emotion there, the sincerity of the words. “Toru often joins us,” he says, “whether it be for meals or for sparring or for dates. We spend time without him, but… I don’t mind him being with us. And if you needed physical contact, I wouldn’t mind you spending more time with him though he isn’t family traditionally. I imagine you could spend time with Madara-san, but…”</p>
<p>“But he’s my brother,” Izuna says, nodding. He loves Madara, would burn the world down for Madara if only his brother asked, <em>(would save the world if only Madara asked)</em>, but it’s not the same. And it’s not what he wants from his brother either—their relationship is fine how it is. “That’s a good idea though,” he continues. He does seek contact from Toru, and this would perhaps just mean more of it. And he definitely doesn’t mind that, <em>(has wondered if Tobirama resented him</em> <em>for spending time with Toru, wondered whether Tobirama expected him to put his romantic relationship first)</em>. “I’d just need to ask Toru. You can be there for that if you want—it’d probably be better if you did. I think… I think he’ll be alright with it.”</p>
<p>“Then we will organise that later,” Tobirama agrees, and points to Izuna’s lunch which has been put off to the side and ignored. “Now eat, you have a meeting to get to in forty minutes or so.”</p>
<p>Rolling his eyes, Izuna grabs his chopsticks. “You say this like you won’t be there as well. Besides, it’s just with our brothers. They certainly won’t care if we’re eating during it.”</p>
<p>“I do believe some of the other Clan Heads will be there. They might care,” Tobirama says.</p>
<p>“Stupid reputations,” Izuna mutters, “I should just be able to do whatever I want.”</p>
<p>“You do that anyway,” Tobirama answers, and there’s laughter in his eyes, love in the softness of his mouth, and Izuna grins, <em>(how can he do anything else?)</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Time passes and Toru grows with it. He grows in the sunshine, in the shade, laughs during the day and the night and every second he can. He smiles, more often than not. Figures out how to live his life without a war. It’s not perfect, isn’t always great, but he tries.</p>
<p>More important, Izuna and Tobirama are beside him. Their relationship, at first, was strange and a bit awkward, but Toru and Izuna have been living together for years and it was easy to fall into old patterns, <em>(and… it feels good, to be able to reach out to Izuna without fearing what Tobirama might think, the gaps for Toru’s teammates don’t feel so obvious anymore; he thinks that they’d be happy with how he’s living)</em>. With Tobirama, Toru has to try a bit harder, but they have fallen into something good already. It’s just obvious now, communicated. Acknowledged.</p>
<p>Life is <em>good</em> and Toru loves it for that. He loves seeing how peace has given Izuna more things to smile about, loves seeing how people are coming together. This isn’t his time, <em>(or it is now, but it wasn’t once)</em>, and it’s not his peace or his village, <em>(Uzushio lies in the distance, pulling its islands out of the sea, but Toru doesn’t feel like he should go, doesn’t feel the need to)</em>, but there are people here. People who are happy. People who know the dangers of war and are learning peace.</p>
<p>Peace is new. Toru never really understood how strange the idea of peace was until he saw how civilians were reacting to it. They feel safe. The hardness of war, the hunger that chewed at them long after their stomachs were empty, is disappearing. It’s not forgotten, but it makes everything easier to cherish.</p>
<p>That’s possibly one of the biggest differences here in comparison to Toru’s peace. These people cherish peace, rather than accepting it as a constant, <em>(he is thankful that neither Sasuke nor Naruto ever really had to live through a war, fight in it and keep fighting without ever stopping)</em>.</p>
<p>“You doing alright there?” Izuna asks, and Toru blinks himself back to alertness, drawing his mind away from his past and into the now.</p>
<p>He’s between both Tobirama and Izuna, which isn’t an unusual position though not one he often slips into. “Yeah,” he says, giving Izuna a smile. They’re all lying together in a training ground far away from people. “I’m good. Really.”</p>
<p>Izuna wraps an arm around him, “I’m glad,” he says, before messing up Toru’s hair.</p>
<p>Rolling his eyes, Toru shoves Izuna off of him. “Must you?” He asks, running a hand through his hair and pulling out grass and dirt that certainly hadn’t been there before.</p>
<p>In response, Izuna grins. “How could I not?”</p>
<p>“You’re no longer my favourite,” Toru says, teasing as he nudges Izuna with his foot, since the shinobi is now too far out of reach for anything else. “Tobirama is.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” Tobirama says, looking up from his book, and then his eyes narrow on Izuna who’s crouching with another handful of dirt. “If you go to put that in my hair, Izuna, kami help me-”</p>
<p>Izuna darts forward, dirt in his hands. Tobirama slips out of the way, book still open and held in his hands. “You know you love me,” Izuna chirps, as he charges forward at Tobirama.</p>
<p>“This is making me second-guess that,” Tobirama answers, dodging another one of Izuna’s lunges.</p>
<p>Toru watches as they dance around the training ground, remaining nearby, and grins. Tobirama’s looking comfortable, loose muscles and relaxed, in a way that he wouldn’t be if they were actually sparring. And Izuna, of course, is grinning, <em>(laughter is obvious in his eyes, and he’s so, so happy here and Toru’s grateful to see it)</em>.</p>
<p>They’re both having fun, but Izuna did shove dirt and grass into Toru’s hair—and he’s not letting that go. Just as Izuna goes to dart pass, Toru leaps up in a blur of speed, and slams into Izuna, shoving him into the ground. They wrestle, and Izuna might have more body mass and be taller, but Toru gives as good as he gets.</p>
<p>He’d have probably lost if not for Tobirama’s chakra cresting behind him. Having a good idea of what was going to happen, Toru leaps up and flips backward, landing in a crouch in front of Tobirama. A split second later, water comes crashing down onto Izuna.</p>
<p>Izuna screeches, flailing in the newly created mud, and manages to stand without slipping. He’s dripping wet, hair plastered to his scalp, and looks irritated—and considerably muddy.</p>
<p>Toru can’t help it, he laughs, laughs long and hard to the point where he’s bent over. The disgruntled expression on Izuna’s face doesn’t help either. Nor does Tobirama’s soft laughter from behind him either. Eventually, he manages to stop laughing, and straightens. Without even thinking about it, he rocks back on his heels and leans into Tobirama’s warm body.</p>
<p>“I hate you both,” Izuna says decisively, <em>(but his eyes are smiling, and he’s relaxed in a way that shows he doesn’t mind)</em>.</p>
<p>“Sure you do,” Tobirama answers, and he wraps his arms around Toru seemingly without thought, pulling Toru into a hug.</p>
<p>And Toru… Toru freezes, heart pounding, because he’s full of happiness, heart pounding and adrenaline racing. And he can feel laughter still bubbling in his throat. He’s so happy to be here with Izuna and Tobirama, glad that both are willing to show affection so easily and-</p>
<p>It’s obvious when he thinks about it. In fact, Toru probably should’ve picked up on it earlier. After all, there’s few people who’s he at ease around—Izuna, Madara, and now Tobirama, <em>(once upon a time, there would be a number of names to list, but now he’s down to three)</em>. The first two are those he loves, though Madara’s more of a friend than anything else. He loves him, but not with the all-encompassing love he has for Izuna and, now, Tobirama.</p>
<p>He loves them. Might even be in love with them, if one removes the romantic connotations. How did he not realise this before?</p>
<p>When he leans further back, Tobirama bears the shift easily, simply tightening his arms and settling his face over Toru’s shoulder so they can both watch Izuna who’s still spluttering and complaining and generally being as dramatic as possible.</p>
<p>“You alright?” Tobirama asks softly.</p>
<p>Toru swallows, thinks about love and words and feelings, <em>(of people gone and people he never told and people he wants back, but knows he’ll never have again)</em>. “Yeah,” he says, the word soft. “Just realised how much I love you.”</p>
<p>Tobirama stiffens and Toru suddenly realises that this is the first time he’s told Tobirama this. For a few heartbeats, he worries he shouldn’t have said such things, whether he should take them back. After all, this isn’t Izuna. Toru’s just friends with Tobirama—and he hadn’t said it lightly, like he might do with a friend. It’d been more serious, more meaningful, and Tobirama had picked up on that.</p>
<p>“You’re alright,” Tobirama says, and Toru forces himself to relax as Tobirama does the same behind him. Tobirama lets go and Toru spins around, forgetting about Izuna for a moment. Tobirama’s eyes are wide but they’re kind, gentle. Toru remembers the softness Tobirama shows Izuna, shows <em>him</em>. “Do you want to talk about this now?”</p>
<p>Toru shrugs, forces the motion to be smoother than he feels, <em>(all jagged edges and broken pieces, but the sea smooths over broken glass, and love has always been like a sea to Toru)</em>. “I’d prefer it,” he says, the words feeling hard and sharp in his throat. “But we can talk later, if you want. Or never. If that’s easier.”</p>
<p>“I’m willing to talk about this now,” Tobirama says, voice gentle like Toru’s someone who needs to be calmed, like he’s a kid on the edge of a tantrum, like he’s a ninja about to breakdown. Toru clamps down on his emotions, on his feelings, forces himself to think and not just feel, <em>(tries to prepare to stand up against the hurt that might come)</em>.</p>
<p>Izuna steps forward, and loops an arm around Toru’s shoulder, pulling Toru into his side. “It’s going to be okay,” he says. “We’re not going to hurt you. Breathe, Toru.”</p>
<p>The first breath Toru takes is shaky. The second less so. And he feels steadier on his feet. In front of him, Tobirama watches slightly, concerned. “I’m good,” he says and his voice is stronger now,<em> (breathe in, breathe out, and never stop breathing)</em>.</p>
<p>He meets Tobirama’s eyes, feels the fear settling sour in his stomach, the worry that chokes his throat, but meets Tobirama’s eyes regardless. “I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction,” he says, “and you’ve spoken to Izuna before so you know what my relationship’s like with him. I…” Breathe in. Breathe out. He gathers himself and continues, “I wouldn’t mind trying for a similar relationship with you. I know you’ve spoken about physical touch with Izuna before, and I understand how it works. The same would apply if we tried for a relationship. But. I’d like to try. If that’s something you want.”</p>
<p>“You’re a good friend,” Tobirama says, “and I don’t have many of those. But… our relationship does feel different, even when you consider Izuna’s impact on it. I wouldn’t mind trying something new, but what does that change compared to how our relationship is now.”</p>
<p>Toru considers it. What more does he want? “It’s not really much different to what we have now, just… more commitment really. You’re not going to leave me without warning, you’ll try to keep in contact with me when you can. What we have now but more commitment, I guess.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” Tobirama says, “we can try.” And he looks at Toru, the way he’s not quite hiding but clearly slightly uncomfortable. The conversation had been uncomfortable for Tobirama too, but he’s not feeling as bad as Toru looks, <em>(and this is Toru who struggles with being vulnerable out in the open, and someone who seeks physical affection)</em>. So he steps forward and pulls both Toru and Izuna into a hug. It’s- It’s good. Everything’s good, <em>(he loves them)</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Izuna has known Toru for years, has picked up on his patterns of grief too, <em>(sometimes he remembers drinking the night away, grieving and hurting and aching, and Toru had been there)</em>. Toru never explains it, and Izuna’s never pushed him—Tobirama doesn’t either.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Sometimes you have to let a person have their grief, because it ebbs and grows and never ever leaves, but you can be there for them. You can be there.)</em>
</p>
<p>They can’t do anything, can’t help, can’t fight it. But Izuna’s gotten the hang of being there for Toru. It’s not enough, never has been and never will be—not for any of them. But it’s all they can do, and Izuna does it without question, always and forever. Tobirama, too, does it. Walks beside Toru and doesn’t ask, but just offers quiet solace.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Toru never explains, not this time, not in this life, but he grieves and both Izuna and Tobirama offer all the comfort they can in the face of that.)</em>
</p>
<p>Times aren’t always bad though. More often than not, they’re good. Izuna watches as Toru and Tobirama learn to navigate each other, learn to come together and be soft with each other. He gets to be the same with them. It’s so easy and he doesn’t know why he didn’t talk to them to have this earlier.</p>
<p>They take time to themselves occasionally, or Tobirama might sequester himself away. Izuna doesn’t mind. All of them go on missions and come back, <em>(alive, they come back alive and Izuna is so, so thankful for that)</em>. Life goes on. Life goes on and it feels as close to perfect as life can get.</p>
<p>“You know what we should do?” Izuna asks on a random evening after a good spar that had Toru be the winner rather than Izuna or Tobirama, <em>(which hadn’t surprised Izuna though Tobirama had seemed surprised, that’s what happens when you underestimate Toru though—you lose, and both Izuna and Tobirama had been too focussed on trying to knock out the other to see all of Toru’s traps and preparations)</em>.</p>
<p>Silence stretches for a few minutes before Tobirama looks up at him, eyebrow raised, “Are you going to tell us or are we meant to guess?”</p>
<p>Izuna pouts for a few heartbeats before saying, “We should get tattoos! Toru definitely needs more and we can get some for each other.”</p>
<p>“Really, tattoos,” Tobirama says in a flat voice, before twisting to look at Toru. “How many tattoos do you have?”</p>
<p>Pausing, Toru considers it. “I’ve got one for Izuna, plus… another three, I think? I got a bunch grouped together as one, which are the masks. The sunset is another. Then I’ve got the dog and fox—they might count as two though. Could go for some more though.”</p>
<p>“Got any ideas for what you’ll get?” Izuna asks, <em>(he might not know what Toru’s other tattoos stand for, only that they stand for something—something important)</em>.</p>
<p>Toru grins, like he’d been waiting for Izuna to ask. “For you, I’m going to get a line tattoo of mountains. Maybe they’ll be on fire to remind of us of our first mission.”</p>
<p>“That was not my fault and I stand by that,” Izuna asks. The mission had been years ago, but sometimes he still feels like he’s running down the mountainside with Toru beside him, poisoned and dying and running even with the poison trailing its way through his veins. He shakes off that feeling, and instead grins—Toru seems determined to make the best of the mission, so he might as well try too. “Going to get one for Tobirama?”</p>
<p>Toru glances at Tobirama, who dips his head in a small nod. “Probably a cloud with water-based colours surrounding it? Seems like it’d work well.”</p>
<p>“Pretty obvious, isn’t it?” Izuna asks, but he’s smiling as he does so. It doesn’t matter with the tattoos are obvious or not. Toru’s not an infiltrator and doesn’t need to blend in, and not many people know about the relationship both Izuna and have with Tobirama. They assume the former are brothers and the latter are friends.</p>
<p>“Like yours won’t be,” Toru teases.</p>
<p>“They mightn’t be! For you I’ll get… A feather in fire colours, like a phoenix,” Izuna says, <em>(because Toru rises again and again from anything that tries to push him down)</em>. “That’s not obvious, is it?”</p>
<p>“I’ll give you that one,” Toru says, glancing at Tobirama. “Would you want to get any tattoos?”</p>
<p>“They’re rather permanent,” Tobirama says, “and obvious markings that you’d have to hide otherwise.”</p>
<p>Toru shrugs. “Get them somewhere it won’t be so obvious,” he says. “But don’t feel like you have to get them either. It doesn’t change anything.”</p>
<p>“And what happens if this falls through? Do you want the reminder on your body forever?”</p>
<p>“It’s not… It’s a reminder, yes, but it’s not a bad thing, I don’t think,” Izuna says slowly in response to Tobirama’s question. “Like… yeah, maybe it fell through and didn’t work. But we had this, and I don’t think I’ll regret that even if it ends. There are so many happy memories here, it’ll be a reminder of what we had and how much I loved it. Maybe it’ll end, but that’s okay, I think.”</p>
<p>“I’ll consider it,” Tobirama says. “When did you plan to get your tattoos?”</p>
<p>“Probably a few days,” Izuna says. “We’re in-village for the next three days at least, and we’ll have to check if it’s going to require one or more sessions. We’ll probably start looking into it tomorrow after my last meeting at… four, I think it was?”</p>
<p>“Sounds good,” Toru says, stretching his arms.</p>
<p>Tobirama hums and considers it. Tattoos, by themselves, are largely useless and dangerous as identifiers. But they seem to mean something to both Toru and Izuna. He doesn’t think they’d mind if he refused to get one, but… it’d be good to have an obvious tie to them, he thinks. Something that remains, no matter what, <em>(permanent doesn’t have to be bad)</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>(In three days, all of Konoha will hear Hashirama screeching when he realises his younger brother has gotten, not one, but two tattoos—a fire dragon and a small simplistic wave pattern. In contrast, Madara will be questioning his brother’s taste as he looks at the water dragon.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(And Toru? He’ll be reminding himself that he is loved and it’s permanent. He will be smiling and grinning and he’ll be laughing.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(The important thing about all of this, other than how they are willing to show their love and declare it on their skin, is how these are not tattoo-seals, but just tattoos. Because it’s about existing, without reason or purpose. Existing, and nothing else.)</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Remember how, a while back, I mentioned Toru has some issues? We're going back to that. Toru is dealing with peace and the distance between him and Izuna with all the coping skills he learnt in this life - i.e. badly. </p>
<p>The thing about life on the battlefield is that it's taught Toru that he can't break down in this world. And he locks himself into that position and has to do anything, everything, else to avoid breaking down. He's got himself into the mindset that he has to keep going until the next fight comes. Except, this time, there's no fight.</p>
<p>You know what I'm here for? Communication in relationships!! That's so important for a healthy relationship!! Talk to your people!! Mention boundaries if you feel uncomfortable!! Be like Tobirama!! <s>And hope like hell it's not out of character for him.</s></p>
<p>Anyway, this chapter made me realise that happy, playful ninjas who are soft with each other are, obviously, the best ninjas. I do not take criticism on this. </p>
<p>Okay, so. What does Toru get for Tobirama? Something like <a href="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/66/9c/3a/669c3aa8d73d04427a1d18e94b8e65d8.jpg">this</a>, but it'd be more water-based colours. Meanwhile, Toru would get something similar to <a href="https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7f/a4/9b/7fa49bcbb8d4b6c6e5b4fffc7aee284b.jpg">this</a>. And Izuna would get something like <a href="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/00/c7/bc/00c7bce0eb8f375dab31309ca3632a6d.jpg">this</a>.</p>
<p>Me, rereading this and reading Tobirama talk about tattoos being obvious: Fuck I forgot how he has lines on his face. We're now pretending that they're for a reason and important (seals or something probably). Anyway. Moving on and ignoring that minor problem because this is an <i>AU of an AU and obviously is for fun and it's fine</i>.</p>
<p>That brings us to the end of this chapter! Who's ready for the next chapter!!! It's me. I'm ready. I'm so excited.</p>
<p>Silver, I hope you're prepared.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm screaming, this is finally the last chapter for this and it's got the epilogue in it!!! I can't tell you how excited I am to finally share with you the epilogue that I was screaming about since like the beginning. This chapter contains: that bit that comes before the end and also the end. </p>
<p>OR: Missions go wrong, there is a lot of blood, but everyone comes home and there's a happy ending in sight.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Chapter warning:</b> Toru does get tortured in this and also does his own little violent thing in response. The scene beginning with "The group who captured him" contains this and you might want to skip it. And the scene beginning with "Toru no longer needs to act weak" is probably another scene you might want to skip. However, for those who know me, this is about the same level of violence you ordinarily see in other scenes involving Toru.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Toru’s given a mission that should take him a week. Two weeks maximum. Izuna sees him off at the compound before heading into the office and doesn’t think much about it. It’s a standard mission, and Toru’s taken many of them before. He’s completed worse missions too and survived, so Izuna isn’t worried.</p>
<p>After all, what are a few bandit camps to a ninja?</p>
<p>But then a week passes and Toru isn’t back. Izuna checks the registration, knows that he’s right, but Toru isn’t here.</p>
<p><em>Another week,</em> Izuna tells himself, and only then will he start to get worried. Maybe things are just trickier than normal. Toru isn’t a tracker—perhaps that’s the problem. He’s probably just getting worried over nothing, and Tobirama agrees with him. They’ve both sparred with Toru before, separately and together. Toru’s a good fighter, one of the best though he rarely goes all out and seems better suited to sparring than actual fights to the death.</p>
<p>The point of the matter is that Izuna shouldn’t be worrying. So he pushes thoughts of Toru’s mission to the back of his head and carries on with everything else.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It’s dark, where Toru is. Damp too. Even with Uchiha-sharp eyes, Toru can’t see anything. The cold metal fixed around his wrists and ankles has long-since grown warm. It rubs against his skin, sending rivulets of blood down his body. What really has Toru worried is that the cuffs are chakra-resistant and block chakra use. He hadn’t realised such things are commonly used.</p>
<p>He’s irritated at himself, more than anything else, about how bad the mission’s gone. It seemed easy and he’d gone in ready to defeat a few bandit camps and nothing more. But the camps had been a ruse for a group to capture a ninja. He doesn’t know who they are or what they want.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He hasn’t admitted it to himself, not yet. But he’s worried. These people are far too prepared. Not for Toru, but just for a ninja in general. Toru was the unlucky one to get captured. And he doesn’t know how to get out. It’s only been a day. But that doesn’t bode well.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>A week passes. Toru doesn’t enter Konoha. Doesn’t enter Tobirama’s sensing range. Izuna’s officially worried now.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The cave system is deep. And unsteady enough that Toru doesn’t want to risk using any earth ninjutsu. Not that he could. Instead, he’s stuck. Even if he could use earth ninjutsu, he’d be stuffed. The cuffs are tight enough that he can’t slip out without mutilating his hand, and that’s something he wants to avoid.</p>
<p>The cold had settled in six days ago. He can’t help but shiver. There’s no one he has to keep a façade up for, at least. He’s allowed to be weak, to be vulnerable. No one’s here—not even the people who have captured him.</p>
<p>He doesn’t think they’re waiting for him to die, just be weak enough that they can do whatever they want to him. Hopefully, they’ll misjudge him, come before he’s really weak and he can get out and attack.</p>
<p>It’s already been a few days without food and water. He’s making do, but it’s tough. He knows he’s weaker now than he was earlier.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He’s been captured before. Tortured before. But he had a team at his back then. Now he just has himself and people stuck back at home, and they won’t be able to find him either—not unless someone with a sensor range who knew him came this way. And Tobirama’s stuck in Konoha, there’s no way he could come on a mission to save Toru.) </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>A day passes. Toru doesn’t come. Tobirama still can’t sense him. Izuna’s not getting much work done.</p>
<p>He does, however, manage to talk a few Uchiha ninjas into searching for Toru. He hopes they’ll find him, or what went wrong and just give him something to go off.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He’s hopeful.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>The group who captured him come sometime when Toru’s almost asleep. He jerks his head up, snaps open his eyes, and looks around. There’s a shiver still running through his body, and he shows it, makes his eyes go wider, he’s only seventeen—maybe these people will feel sorry for him.</p>
<p>“What- What do you want for me?” He asks, teeth chattering, fully playing up everything. The group don’t answer, but three head elsewhere in the cave system, leaving Toru and two others.</p>
<p>A torch, attached to the wall, gives off enough light that Toru can see the gleam of metal on a table of some kind. He doesn’t look away, doesn’t try to hide, but he does ease up on the shivers and lounges against the cave wall. With any luck, he looks like he’s carefree.</p>
<p>The two people don’t seem to care. They look like they’re from Kaze no Kuni, but Toru’s not certain. They might be from somewhere else entirely and just wearing clothing common to the country. Why would a group from Kaze no Kuni be in a cave system anyway? It doesn’t make any sense.</p>
<p>They’re dark-skinned enough that they might’ve come from Kaminari no Kuni actually. And that would make more sense, considering that Toru had actually been around there. The light flickers, casting shadows over their faces. Toru doesn’t care, he stares at them as one stands back and the other approaches, weapon in handy.</p>
<p>His clothing was taken from him at the beginning, removing his weapons. Toru doesn’t care about nudity, he’s a ninja after all, but he hadn’t expected this level of attention to detail. They were prepared for torture and he doesn’t even know what they want. They haven’t asked any questions or done anything.</p>
<p>Breathing out slowly, Toru prepares himself for the pain and imagines steal plating going down his spine. Strength. Commitment. Loyalty.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Izuna. Tobirama. Madara. Konoha.)</em>
</p>
<p>A single cut on his shoulder. Light enough to be a scratch, really. Toru doesn’t react, just trains his eyes on the flickering torch, <em>(he misses the Uchiha Clan Compound, the friendly fire ninjutsus, the way he could relax by fire and not care; he misses light and sunshine and warmth)</em>.</p>
<p>The next cut is deeper. On the opposite side of his body and on his arm. Not really traditional torture spots. Toru would’ve assumed they’d go for his hands, as that’d be most painful, or burn the soles of his feet to keep him from running. Instead, they seem to be testing his tolerance for pain, <em>(and he’s a ninja, so it won’t be that low)</em>.</p>
<p>A few minutes pass. And then a cut slashes itself across Toru’s arm that hurts. He hisses, but refuses to do anything else. Instead, gritting his teeth.</p>
<p>“Move onto the next,” the person says from the back, and Toru can’t help but glance at them. They’re staring at the cut on his arm, which is sending bright red blood down his skin, dripping to the floor. It’s not a deep cut. Not enough to require stitches or anything, but it hurts still.</p>
<p>The other person doesn’t respond. Just moves over to the torch and shoves the knife in it. The metal begins to glow, then turns white. Toru grits his teeth. This, he knows, will hurt.</p>
<p>They’ve learnt. They press it against the sole of his foot. Toru screams.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“No sign of him, Izuna-sama,” the Uchiha reports in. Izuna swallows his scream, <em>(keeps the fire in his throat contained)</em>.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he says routinely, and the Uchiha leading the team doesn’t seem to mind, just nods, and heads back to the compound.</p>
<p>Toru’s the first ninja marked MIA and Izuna really wished that Toru hadn’t accomplished this. He’s not the only one worried either, Tobirama is, and so is Madara. They haven’t had an Uchiha go missing like this in sometime. It’s even stranger because Toru doesn’t have the Sharingan—there’s no reason for him to have been captured. No reason for him to not be coming back.</p>
<p>At least no one dares suggest that Toru doesn’t plan on coming back. The people who don’t know Toru don’t speak about him, but those who know Toru <em>know</em> him. They know he’d come back, <em>(he’s the one who knows their names, asks after their families, cares for them when he can)</em>.</p>
<p>Toru is known and doesn’t hold an important position. It says a lot about him, Izuna thinks, <em>(it says a lot about the world they live in)</em>.</p>
<p>“Do you reckon I can wrangle a mission to go looking for him?” Izuna asks Tobirama, and it’s only slightly in humour. He’s already told Madara if Toru doesn’t come back in three days, Izuna’s going to go find him with or without permission. Madara had given permission, had promised to cover for Izuna if it was needed.</p>
<p>
  <em>(The Uchiha Clan know something about caring for people. Know about looking after someone, looking out for someone. More than that, the Uchiha Clan knows love and how it clings to you, how you cling to it. The Uchiha Clan would never try to keep someone from the person they love and who loves them back.) </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Toru no longer needs to act weak. He is weak. He allows the manacles to hold him up rather than the other way around. He has wounds that require stitches and blisters on his hands and feet. The only way he’s getting out of here is in pain and blood—preferably not his blood, but that seems unlikely in his current state.</p>
<p>He can’t use chakra to escape, and he tried to wriggle out of his cuffs earlier but unless he tears his thumb off, he’s stuck. The chains themselves are bolted to the rock, and only with chakra would he be able to pull it out—and he can’t use his chakra.</p>
<p>
  <em>(A small voice in the back of his head says that no one’s coming. But that’s not true. Izuna’s just waiting, waiting for Toru to get home, because Toru has managed worse and he has to hold onto that. And Tobirama would be the same, he’s sure.) </em>
</p>
<p>They don’t give him food or water, but they are beginning to let down their guards. He doesn’t know what they want, they’ve yet to ask him questions. But he thinks they will soon.</p>
<p>Once again, two people enter his cell—though they’re different from the last ones. It seems to be a revolving pair of people constantly coming and going. This time, before they bring out the torture devices, one asks, “What are the defences surrounding your village?”</p>
<p>And Toru laughs, long and hard. It kills his throat, sore as it is from screaming. But of course they ask that question. As if Toru would ever give up village defences, <em>(in theory, he wouldn’t even know them as one of Konoha’s many ninjas in the Jōnin Corps who don’t really matter)</em>. “What makes you think I know?” He spits at them. “Why does it matter? It’s not like you’d get close without someone noticing.” He’s bitter and angry enough to add, tauntingly, “You don’t think you’d get past the Uchiha and Senju Clans, do you?”</p>
<p>Neither one answers, but he does earn a slap across the face. His split lip starts bleeding again and his swollen, black eye begins to pound again. “What are the defences surrounding your village?”</p>
<p>Toru can’t even shrug so he just grins at them, blood staining his teeth. “Fuck if I know.”</p>
<p>“Get him down. We’ve got the next room organised.”</p>
<p><em>That doesn’t sound good,</em> Toru thinks to himself just before the bolt is pulled out and he collapses against the floor. The cuffs are still on him and he can’t use his chakra—but he’s no longer held down.</p>
<p>He moves.</p>
<p>It kills. Adrenaline surges but even it can’t outweigh the pain. He bites his tongue instead of screaming, and forces his tired, exhausted body to move. With one leg, he sends one person to the ground, not quite strong enough to break a kneecap but definitely causing quite a bit of pain.</p>
<p>By the time that happens, the other person has already moved and is speeding towards him. They’re ninjas, Toru can tell, though he’d already figured that out. And Toru might be dead tired and exhausted and in so much pain he doesn’t know his left from his right, but he’s a ninja and he’s built his life on speed.</p>
<p>He loops the chain holding the cuffs together around the person’s neck and pulls. They choke, struggling against the metal, but Toru doesn’t let up. Finally, they go silent, just as the person throws three kunai at Toru. He uses the corpse as a body shield and then twirls, dropping the corpse and slamming into the other person.</p>
<p>They fight. It’s bloody and chaotic and fit for civilians more than ninjas, but Toru is desperate and fights with everything he has left. He jabs at eyes, and bites when fingers near him. The only reason he wins is because he manages to get his fingers into the other ninja’s eyes and burst them. It’s awful and disgusting and beneath him, the person screams, before he slams an arm against their throat. They choke, winded, and Toru manages to steal a kunai and slice it across their throat.</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>Toru breathes out, heart racing, and body trembling. He’s bleeding from almost every open wound, but pushes himself to his feet anyway. He checks over the cuffs, but they don’t seem to have any obvious key-hole or locking mechanism. A seal on them looks similar enough to an Uzushio one that he figures the cuffs are probably locked to a chakra signature. With chakra or with the right supplies, Toru could probably break them. But not here. Not now.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know where he’s going, can’t use chakra, but that doesn’t make him less capable. The injuries are a problem, but he doesn’t care, <em>(he’s going home; he’s going home; he’s going home and nothing can stop him)</em>.</p>
<p>The cell opens into a hallway. It’s badly lit, a few torches flickering down to nothing. There’s no marker for which way to go, so Toru takes a guess and heads left.</p>
<p>He walks slowly, carefully holding the chains so they don’t make too much sound. For a few minutes, he passes nothing but more rock, before he comes across a room. There’s no one in it, thankfully, but there are some clothes and a cupboard.</p>
<p>Grabbing the clothes, Toru tears a few into pieces and wraps it around the chains. It won’t do much, but it’ll hopefully stop the worst of the noise. Then he puts on some of the clothing, tearing bits when the chain connecting the handcuffs get in the way.</p>
<p>The cupboard doesn’t hold anything useful, though he does steal the metal coat-hanger and bend it into something that might be useful as a weapon. He still has the weapons he’d grabbed from the two ninjas he killed earlier, but without a weapons pouch, he’s limited.</p>
<p>When he leaves the room, the hallway is empty but there’s a trail of blood from where Toru’s been. He moves faster now, gritting his teeth through the pain and trying to avoid biting his tongue because the last thing he needs is a mouthful of blood.</p>
<p>He’s not as lucky this time, he comes across someone. At the very least, he has the advantage of surprise and lurches forward, kunai in one hand and wielding the chain in the other as a blunt-force weapon. They go down quickly, not quite silently, but better than Toru had been expecting considering his recent luck.</p>
<p>They die with a stab to the heart, which Toru knows is more mercifully than Izuna would be in his position, <em>(he wants Izuna, wants Tobirama, even wants Madara, he just wants someone who knows him and loves him to be here)</em>.</p>
<p>Toru runs now, speeding through the hallways. It all looks the same and he takes turns at random. He doesn’t know how to get out, <em>(feels like he’s trapped in a maze and there is no escape)</em>. He comes across more ninjas, and slaughters them, painting his stolen clothes red. He can’t bring himself to care. He’s hurting and in pain and—these people never cared, <em>(he’s fucking seventeen, would they have cared if he was younger? Have they done this before?)</em>.</p>
<p>Swinging right, Toru finds himself in a dead-end room. Rather than leaving immediately though, he pauses. There are more chains and cuffs here—skeletons too. He hadn’t been the first one. These people had died here, and been left to die. He wonders whether they gave in and told their secrets, or if they gave up and died. He doesn’t think any of them escaped.</p>
<p>For a heartbeat, he feels himself falters. Actually considers giving up. He’s gotten so far and he’s gotten nowhere. But-</p>
<p>But Izuna and Tobirama and Madara and Konoha are waiting for him. And Toru won’t let these people hurt anyone else. He gathers the chains and cuffs, even though he knows he doesn’t have much time. All the metal is heavy and he’s weak.</p>
<p>Breathe in. Breathe out. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. <em>Run</em>.</p>
<p>There’s no time for second-guessing, Toru speeds through the corridors. Anyone he comes across gets to be the lucky winner of a chakra-inhibiting cuff. Toru doesn’t think they enjoy it, but he kills them quickly enough they don’t get to voice their anger for too long.</p>
<p>He’s starting to work his way up. There are steps he climbs up and many of the hallways are inclines. There are more people now, and he’s taking on two people more often than he takes on one person. It’s starting to become a problem. He can’t do this forever, can’t fight forever, <em>(and this reminds him of being on the frontline, of fighting and not knowing anything else, and Toru hadn’t realised how much he hated to be back here)</em>.</p>
<p>Eventually, he’s forced to a stop by four people ahead of him. He bares his teeth at them and snarls, but says nothing. One of them looks more put together than the rest. “No one’s ever made it this far before,” they say. “I’ll have to punish those who let you get this far, but it looks like you took care of that problem for me.”</p>
<p>Without a doubt, this is the person whose chakra is linked to his cuffs. If he wants out, he’s going to need his chakra. He needs to get close to them when they use his chakra. It won’t unlock the cuffs, not as they are but…</p>
<p>“Where even is here?” Toru asks, wanting to keep this person talking so he can figure out a plan. “Why did you take me? Or all those other people? How many people have you killed?”</p>
<p>“How many people have <em>I</em> killed? How many have you? Both fighting for whatever clan you come from and that village you call yours. How many people have you killed today? Why are my actions in question when you’ve done the exact same thing?”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t the one torturing people,” Toru says, wrapping one hand around the other’s cuff to hide the seal he paints on the cuff. It’s not very good, and using blood is the worst decision he’s made recently, but it might be enough to have the cuff get unlocked if he gets close to the person and they use their chakra.</p>
<p>The person doesn’t respond to his comment this time, and the fight begins. Toru throws himself forward, reckless and angry and fuelled by desperation. He manages to kill at least one, though it loses him a kunai. Another tries for a wind ninjutsu that Toru ducks, rolls forward, and slams into them, sending them to the ground.</p>
<p>He scrambles to his feet and lunges, with all the speed he still has and all the energy left in him, to get close to the leader. He’s a metre away when they send a ninjutsu towards him, a thing of lighting.</p>
<p><em>Fuck</em>, he thinks to himself just before it hits. He can’t help but scream, muscles spasming. He falls to the floor and then-</p>
<p>Click.</p>
<p>The cuffs around his wrists come off and though he’s not recovered from the lightning, Toru stumbles to his feet and darts forward. Chakra surges through his body, raging and hot and it makes him want to cry, <em>(it hUrTS)</em>. His control is pretty much ruined, but he manages to get it surging through his muscles and giving him a much-needed boost.</p>
<p>There are two ninjas left plus the leader. The one to the left of him goes first, Toru slamming into them and snapping a cuff around their wrist, and then choking them with the chain.</p>
<p>Then, he’s forced to dive backwards to avoid a ninjutsu. Not trusting himself enough to use ninjutsu, he shoves his hand out and surges his chakra, and places a seal on the ninja charging at him. They go down, screaming, and he leaps forward, rolling, and passes by them leaving a kunai behind in their gut. It’s a serious enough injury that they’ll die soon and probably won’t pull it out—if they can even think past the pain.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Everything is pain. He knows nothing but pain. It’s all he can feel but he has to keep moving.)</em>
</p>
<p>“Full of surprises, aren’t you?” The leader says, but Toru just lunges forward, low and sloppy. He misses, spins on blistered, burnt feet, away from a lightning ninjutsu. He closes on them, tries to stick nearby so they can’t send another lightning jutsu without getting themself in the process.</p>
<p>His leg spasms and he falls, twisting as he does so to avoid a kunai in the throat. He kicks out, sweeping at their feet, but they gracefully jump over him. There’s only one thing Toru feels he can do, and pulls chakra into his muscles, and forces himself upward again. Rather than standing, he goes for a jump, and—in the air—redirects himself to land above them. They try to shift, just as his feet are about to reach their shoulders, but he twists and slips, looping legs around neck. Grabbing their head, he twists, chakra roaring, and-</p>
<p><em>SNAP</em>.</p>
<p>They both fall to the ground, uncontrolled. He pants, shaking, and so, so sore. He’s alive. He can’t believe it.</p>
<p>Staggering, hurting, Toru drags himself to his feet. It’s almost enough to send him to the ground again. But he has to get home. Has to get to Konoha. Has to get to Izuna and Tobirama. He starts walking, <em>(and he doesn’t stop)</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Tobirama enters Izuna’s office without knocking. “I can sense Toru,” he says, eyes wide.</p>
<p>“Where?” Izuna asks, surging to his feet. Within seconds, they’re both racing across the rooftops and past Konoha’s wall with barely a word to the guard there.</p>
<p>A patrol led by an Uchiha drops past them, barely managing to keep pace. “Toru,” Izuna bites out at them, and then they’re gone and leaping through the trees. “Status?” Izuna asks, keeping pace with Tobirama. Everything’s taken on a red tinge and Izuna realises that his Sharingan must be spinning.</p>
<p>“Not good,” Tobirama answers. “He’s- hurting. A lot. His chakra’s not very low though. I don’t know what his condition will be like. But he’s moving quickly.”</p>
<p>“Always been fast,” Izuna says, even as he pours on more speed. Tobirama matches him, step for step, leading the way.</p>
<p>They run in silence for a few minutes, their surroundings a blur, and then Tobirama drops to the ground. And Izuna sees him—Toru.</p>
<p>Izuna’s never seen him look this bad. He’s clearly not wearing his clothes and the clothes that he’s wearing are covered in blood, <em>(soaked in blood; it’s like he waded through a river of red to get to them)</em>. He has no shoes and one eye is swollen shut, and the other is black. His face is a mess of bruises and cuts. Izuna shudders to think what the rest of him is like.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He doesn’t even know how Toru’s still walking. He looks like the walking dead—those who return home from the battlefield and then die.) </em>
</p>
<p>For a moment, it seems like Toru doesn’t see them—and then he does. “Izuna? Tobirama?” He asks, and his voice is hoarse and raspy and there’s clearly damage to his throat as well.</p>
<p>Izuna steps forward, and hands hovering over Toru, not sure where’s safe to touch. Toru takes the decision from him, slumping forward so that Izuna’s holding him up. Toru winces, but still relaxes into Izuna’s arms. But there’s a steadiness to his breathing that speaks of pain.</p>
<p>“Where are you hurt?” Izuna asks.</p>
<p>Toru barks a harsh laugh. “Where doesn’t it?” He asks. He bows his head over and- and Izuna would think him crying, if not for the way his breathing didn’t change. He doesn’t know what he can do, doesn’t know what there is to say.</p>
<p>Tobirama’s hands bleed green. “I can heal some of these injuries,” he says, brows furrowed. “But you will need to rest and see an actual medic-nin.”</p>
<p>“I made it home,” Toru says with a sigh, eyelids fluttering, and fear grips Izuna’s head.</p>
<p>“You’re not home yet,” he says. “You have to make it home.”</p>
<p>
  <em>(You have to live, he says silently. Begs silently.)</em>
</p>
<p>“He will,” Tobirama says. “I can’t heal everything, but we can make it back and he can get proper healing then. I don’t want to do too much—I don’t know how much his body can handle or if there’s internal injuries.”</p>
<p>Izuna bites back the sharp words that spring to his mouth. “Let’s go,” he says instead. He shifts his arms so that he’s holding Toru, whose eyes open as his expression twists into a grimace. Izuna knows that Toru’s likely to fall unconscious now, now that he’s made it to safety and home, “Stay with me,” he says. “Until we get home. You hear me?”</p>
<p>“Gotta get home,” Toru slurs back, eyes seeming to slip over Izuna’s face without really catching on anything. “You an’ Tobira came?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Izuna says, swallowing as he races through the forest, Tobirama on his heels. “We got you. We came. We wanted to come Toru. We would’ve come, I swear. We always will.”</p>
<p>Toru smiles. Somehow. Izuna doesn’t know how he manages it, with black eyes and split lips and bruises and cuts, <em>(doesn’t know how he’s survived)</em>.</p>
<p>They make it to Konoha, chakra flaring. A medic-nin meets them at the gates, and his eyes widen at the sight of Toru. “Do you know what happened to him?” He asks, as they head towards the hospital that’s not as much a hospital as it is a small clinic.</p>
<p>“No,” Tobirama says. “But he’s only holding onto consciousness through sheer willpower. He didn’t notice us when we found him.”</p>
<p>
  <em>(I don’t know how he’s alive, Tobirama says without speaking the words.)</em>
</p>
<p>“Put him on the gurney,” the medic-nin says, hands glowing green. He frowns. “No internal injuries,” he says, after a full body scan. “There doesn’t appear to be a concussion either, but it’s hard to tell at the moment. He’s still responding to whatever he went through. I’m going to take off his clothes.”</p>
<p>Izuna shares a glance at Tobirama who nods back. They’re staying. They’re ninjas, they’ve seen worse, <em>(at least Toru won’t die, at least he’s alive, it could be so much worse)</em>.</p>
<p>Upon seeing the mess of injuries that Toru’s body is, Izuna inhales sharply. The medic-nin shoots a look at them, before returning to his patient. “He’ll live,” he says. “He’ll need bed rest and to take quite a bit of time off to recuperate, but he’ll recover and I think he’ll still have full control over his body. There’ll be scarring. But he got to us in time and there’s no sign of infection, even though some of these injuries were created some time ago. I’ll give him some antibiotics and I want him on watch for a few days. Does he live with one of you?”</p>
<p>“He does,” Izuna says. And it’s almost funny, how this medic-nin doesn’t know who Toru is, who he lives with. “I can keep a close eye on him.”</p>
<p>“If infection develops, it’ll be soon from the looks of some of these,” the medic-nin says, healing some of the worst cuts. “The main thing I’m worried about is his feet. He’s been burnt and been running on bare feet from the look of it. Try to keep him off his feet until it’s healed. I’ve done the best I can, but I don’t want to overdo it. I say… a week, and then he can come back in for another healing session. We can do earlier, if needed, but I don’t want to risk it. He’s showing signs of chakra inhibition for a long time period, and I would like to avoid him going into chakra shock.”</p>
<p>“Is there anything we can do to help?” Tobirama asks.</p>
<p>“Do what you’d do for anyone,” the medic-nin says, the chakra finally fading from his hands. “He looks like he’s been tortured, so be there for him. Try to keep him off his feet. Make sure he eats and stays hydrated. I’m going to put him on an IV to replace the lost fluids and get him some nutrients. Soft foods for now, bland. Standard for dehydration and malnutrition. I’m sure you know how it goes.”</p>
<p>Prisoners of war aren’t exactly common—they die, more often than they live. But Toru is here, Izuna reminds himself, and Toru will stay here.</p>
<p>“Understood,” Izuna says. There are a few seats nearby but- but he doesn’t want to sit down, wants to be doing something, <em>(he wants to fight those who took Toru and destroy them, make them suffer and bleed like they have done, but he can’t do that—doesn’t even know who they are or where they are)</em>. “Can he wear his own clothes?”</p>
<p>The medic-nin smiles at him. “I think he’d prefer it. But it might help if one of you stays here as well. A familiar face when he wakes up will be good.”</p>
<p>“Is he going to wake up soon?” Izuna asks, rocking on his feet. Toru had only lost consciousness when they’d entered Konoha. He’s not sure how the other Uchiha knew that they’d gotten to Konoha, or if his willpower had finally given up. But they made it to Konoha. Made it alive.</p>
<p>“It’s hard to tell,” the medic-nin says. “He’s probably been conscious and on edge for a while. Now that he knows he’s safe, he’s finally crashed. But if he’s used to constantly waking up to keep himself safe, then he’ll likely wake up shortly. It differs for everyone.”</p>
<p>“I’ll wait,” Tobirama says, “You go. Tell one of our brothers where we are and what’s happened.”</p>
<p>Izuna nods, gives Toru one last glance, <em>(he looks so small and pale against the sheets, injured, but he’s safe now—physically at least)</em>, and then he’s out into Konoha and running across the rooftops.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Toru wakes up slowly, struggling to alertness. His mind feels sluggish and his body feels slow. His body is also screaming with every breath he takes. The last few weeks flash through his mind—the darkness of the caves, the pain, the flickering torches, <em>(the remains of those he couldn’t save, the people he slaughtered on his way out)</em>.</p>
<p>“Easy,” someone says, and then there’s a hand on his arm tapping a message to him. It hurts. Everything hurts, but this is somehow better. This is a language known to very few, and Toru feels himself relax. Still, though, he wants to open his eyes, wants to make sure he is safe.</p>
<p>Slowly, fighting what feels like a losing battle, Toru opens his eyes. The first thing he sees is Tobirama, red eyes soft and worried. Toru’s heart stutters, and he feels warm, <em>(feels loved)</em>. “We’ve got you,” Tobirama says, voice soft. “Izuna’s just gone to grab food. It’s been six hours since we found you. You know where we are?”</p>
<p>Talking feels like a lot of effort, and Toru remembers how much it hurt when he’d last spoken. So he taps his answer against Tobirama’s hand, and squeezes it gently when he’s done.</p>
<p>“I’m glad,” Tobirama answers. “Do you want to know about your injuries?”</p>
<p>Y-E-S Toru taps out.</p>
<p>“No internal or head injuries,” Tobirama reports, voice falling into an easy rhythm. “You’re on an IV for fluids and nutrients. A medic-nin has healed the worst of your injuries, scarring is expected, you can come in for another healing session in a week. The worst injuries are those on your feet, and you should try to avoid walking on them for a while.”</p>
<p>“Toru!” Izuna says, entering the room. “You’re awake.”</p>
<p>“He is,” Tobirama confirms. “But not speaking. Damaged throat I’m assuming—the medic-nin did mention that.”</p>
<p>Y-E-S Toru taps again, and manages to smile when Tobirama looks at him, despite the pain.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Pain reminds you that you’re alive, someone told him once. Someone also told him that to be in pain is to be human, and he’d hated that with all the anger he was capable of having. How could being in pain make you human? You were human regardless.)</em>
</p>
<p>“I’m glad,” Izuna says, and Toru can hear the sincerity. It’s obvious. It oozes from Izuna’s words and wraps around Toru like a comforting blanket.</p>
<p>A hand picks up his hand, the one Tobirama isn’t holding. Familiar. Toru’s not ambidextrous but he is a ninja, and it takes a moment of thinking and brainpower to get what he wants, but then he manages to tap out L-O-V-E Y-O-U on both Izuna and Tobirama’s hands.</p>
<p>“You too,” Izuna says, voice a low whisper, and the future waits for them. There are things to deal with, a mission to report, but sleep is tugging at Toru once again. And he lets it pull him back, lets himself relax. He’s safe here. Safe and watched over and with people who love him.</p>
<p>
  <em>(He came back from the mission. He made it home. He’s damaged and his throat bleeds from all the screaming, but he got himself out. He fucking got himself out.) </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(This, some </em>
  <em>might say, is the beginning of the end.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Bedrest, it turns out, does not suit Toru well. It suits no ninja well, but Tobirama isn’t used to trying to keep anyone resting. Hashirama often enjoyed fiddling with the Mokuton and Tobirama never had to do anything but make sure he ate and took any medication.</p>
<p>Toru, on the other hand, wants to be up. Seems restless. It’s… not surprising, but watching him makes Tobirama wonder.</p>
<p>What does Toru do other than train? The answer, it turns out, is very little.</p>
<p>Toru manages to keep himself relatively contained for five days, before he’s starting to get to his feet and walk around. Either Tobirama or Izuna or—far too often—both of them follow him, walking beside him.</p>
<p>In this way, they see Konoha as they never had before, working in their offices and travelling on the rooftops as they had. Toru takes his time, slips through street alleys like he was used to walking them, <em>(he’s not, they both know this, but he’s so at ease it’s strange)</em>. He makes friends with the kids on the streets, smiles at grubby faces and gives—gives time, gives care, gives himself, <em>(gives kindness)</em>.</p>
<p>Tobirama doesn’t mind kids, enjoys teaching them, but Toru isn’t teaching them. He’s just spending time with them and caring.</p>
<p>
  <em>(It does raise the question of how Toru is a ninja; why he’s a ninja. Their work is bloody and deals with death more often than not. Tobirama understands how you can get forced into the job of a ninja, but Toru… Toru hadn’t been in a family that forced him to be a ninja. He could have been a civilian. Could have been anything else.)</em>
</p>
<p>The days pass, stretching out and yet somehow blurring together at the same time. And, Tobirama begins to wonder whether Toru wants to be a ninja, <em>(does he know anything else?)</em>, because he doesn’t have to be.</p>
<p>He mentions to Izuna, in passing, and then they discuss it at length. Because this is Toru, and they care for him, love him. It’s not their decision, never would be, but maybe Toru needs to hear their thoughts, needs to hear that there is a choice for him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“What makes you happy?”</p>
<p>The question is posed gently. It’s meant to be kind, but it hits Toru hard. Hits him like he took a kunai to the shoulder and goes down, <em>(and Toru knows what it feels like to go down)</em>.</p>
<p>He doesn’t answer straight away, and his partners don’t seem to expect an answer straight away. “Take your time,” Izuna says, running a soft hand through his hair, <em>(and they are so, so kind that sometimes Toru wonders if he deserves it—but it’s never been about what he deserves, not really)</em>. “We’ll be here.”</p>
<p>Toru takes his time. He sits in the sunshine and thinks. He sits on the cliff and stares out at the world and wonders. What does make him happy?</p>
<p>A day passes and then another and still, <em>still</em>, Toru has no answer. Nothing to share with his partners. Just his mind ticking over the question, as if trying to pry weaknesses from the words.</p>
<p>
  <em>What makes you happy?</em>
</p>
<p>Toru doesn’t know. He doesn’t know and it makes him feel helpless. The world is so big and he’s so small, and how can he not know what makes him happy? He stumbles upon his answer and it had been obvious, so obvious he hadn’t even thought about it.</p>
<p>“You do,” he says, to Izuna, to Tobirama. “You both make me happy.”</p>
<p>“What makes you happy aside from us?” Tobirama asks, words gentle and damning all the same.</p>
<p>“Madara,” Toru says, throwing the words out there like the lifelines they are. “Konoha. The people here.”</p>
<p>The other two wait, like there’s more he should say, more he should know. But there are no more answers Toru can offer them. What else does he have?</p>
<p>A day passes, then another one, because time always passes. And Toru finds himself with his partners, and just-</p>
<p>What makes him happy?</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” he says helplessly, and he wants to cry from frustration. It’s such an easy question, why can’t he answer? Why doesn’t he know?</p>
<p>“Hey,” Izuna says, quickly coming to his side. “It’s alright to not know. You don’t have to have an answer.”</p>
<p>
  <em>(Once upon a time, many things had made Toru happy. He’d been happy just living. What had changed?)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(He had been born again to live another life. That had been the change.)</em>
</p>
<p>“Toru,” Tobirama says, slipping down to sit beside him, “you don’t have to answer this, but we do want you to think about this. Do you want to be a ninja? Not- Not do you have to be. Or that you need to be. But do you <em>want</em> to be one?”</p>
<p>Toru’s breathing stutters. It’s not something he’s ever thought. What is he, if not a ninja?</p>
<p>He’s bathed in blood, brought down armies, has suffered and has lived. He’s struggled and fought and he will continue to do so, of course he will, if he needs to and if his people ever ask him to. This is how he’s always been. This is <em>him</em>.</p>
<p>But… But Izuna and Tobirama are asking him what he wants to do. They’re telling him he doesn’t need to be a ninja. It’s insane. It’s impossible. It’s peace in a war-torn era, <em>(it’s a village with her Kage reborn)</em>.</p>
<p>There is so, so much blood on his hands. He has pressed it into his skin until it’s become part of his fingerprints, part of his identity. Toru’s made his peace with that. The blood on his hands are from actions he made a choice to do—he decided to take the mission, join a war, fight an invasion, and always, <em>always</em>, keep fighting. He will kill in the name of peace, for his family, to protect, to do what he thinks must be done.</p>
<p>Izuna and Tobirama bracket him, offers quiet comfort, and let him think, try to keep him from being pulled to pieces by the tornado of his mind. He leans on them, can’t help to do anything else.</p>
<p>He’s lived. Twice over. And the grief of leaving behind family after family has never really left him, <em>(how could it?)</em>. He is an aching, grieving person, and maybe he always will be. But… what if he can be happy? What if he can find happiness? What if he doesn’t have to pick up a weapon again? Doesn’t have to fight in the name of a mission? Doesn’t need to be on the frontlines?</p>
<p>The words are choking on his tongue and he feels so, so incredibly guilty to be thinking of them, to be choosing them, <em>(what makes you happy?)</em>. “I- I-” The words die on his tongue, and he wants to hide away from the world, bury his head in the sand, shy away from the choice.</p>
<p>
  <em>(We love you. We love you. We love you. That will never change, no matter what.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>(The people he loves, who have loved him and love him in turn, they would want him to be happy.)</em>
</p>
<p>“I… I don’t think I want to be a ninja,” he says softly. “I can…” He doesn’t know. There are so many choices and so many things he doesn’t know how to be.</p>
<p>Izuna kisses his forehead and Tobirama squeezes his hand. “You can be anything you want to be,” Izuna says.</p>
<p>“And we’ll support you no matter what,” Tobirama adds.</p>
<p>They love him and he loves them and… and maybe he can choose his happiness. Maybe, this time, he doesn’t need to fight anymore.</p>
<p>
  <em>(So much of his life has been fighting. This will be the thing that makes a difference form his past life.)</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Izuna remembers the boy he saw on the battlefield. A scrap of a shinobi with no one to watch his back. And how different that boy is now. Seventeen and no longer a shinobi but with a career that puts many others to shame. He has people to watch his back—has Izuna, has Tobirama, has Madara, probably has most of Konoha, <em>(it turns out, caring gets you allies, maybe not in times of war when people put themselves first, but in times of peace Toru has an army of people who care for him in return)</em>.</p>
<p>Toru who fought by pressing forward and forward and forward and never giving in, never giving up, never backing down. Toru who loved and loved and loved even when it threatened to kill him. Toru who learnt to be vulnerable and to be weak and to live.</p>
<p>Toru Uchiha who Izuna loves with everything he is and everything he has.</p>
<p>He’s not a shinobi anymore, though he keeps up his training. Sparring matches are now games, more than anything else, and it reminds Izuna of their childhood and what happy moments it contained. He might not be a ninja, but he keeps up with them, easier than everyone expected in fact.</p>
<p>The best change, the most important change, is how often he smiles. Toru is happy almost all the time now. He laughs and smiles and grins. In the future, he will have laugh lines and crinkles at his eyes, and he will be alive, <em>(sometimes Izuna didn’t think they’d make it through)</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>(If you asked Toru what made him happy, he could answer you now.)</em>
</p>
<p>If they call him, Izuna knows, Toru will come. But this is Izuna and Tobirama’s selfish desire—they do not want him there. They want him happy and peaceful, sleepy and relaxed, at home rather than on the field. They want to watch him recover from nightmares by their sides, and return from his flashbacks with someone he knows and trusts by his side.</p>
<p>Toru Uchiha is loved and happy and loves in turn. And you know what? Izuna is too. So is Tobirama. Because sometimes there really is a happy ending.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm screaming. This epilogue is what I've been really excited about!!! It's also the reason why I wrote 11k of this fic in one day on like... the first day of NaNo, maybe? Silver knows. It was Massive. It was all of this chapter and like a little under half of the last one. But anyway, this was also on top of writing for my NaNo project which, I am pleased to announce, is officially written! Like. Actually complete. I'm very happy with it but it does mean I have to turn to another original project which I've been delaying lol.</p>
<p>Anyway, I got very sidetracked. None of that was the point. The epilogue!! Yes, I always planned (once I figured out the plot) that Toru would never be a ninja in this life. And that is so, so important. I hope you'll realise why it worked out like this. If not, feel free to ask! I'm going to try and get through a few comments today and might do another bunch later. </p>
<p>I don't even have any words? I just. Am sad this is over but I really, really hope everyone enjoyed it. Most of all, <i>Silver</i> I hope you enjoyed it! I had so much fun writing it even though it grew to astonishing lengths and I had heaps of fun discovering the ending (and did a lot of screaming at Pearl, as a result). </p>
<p>In the end, this did have a fair bit of angst, which I'm somewhat sorry for. But it all worked out and I got to explore some new characters - this was my first time writing any of the Founders characters. </p>
<p>I'm still not over the ending of this. I'm so happy with it. There's so much meaning and I just- So good!! The last POV for Izuna? Works so well and that echo from the beginning? And like, the last paragraph? Happy endings? Man, I want some of those.</p>
<p>I am, however, sorry to say that this is the end. I hope you've enjoyed, even if you didn't know Toru before this - especially then, perhaps. I had so much fun watching your comments and just writing this and. Well, it's always sad when something ends even if the something in question is meant to be a small AU of an AU.</p>
<p>Feel free to catch me on <a href="https://silent-silver-slip.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> or if you want to find me on Discord, drop a message. Or, if you really want, you can come and join the Discord server which isn't really about this series, not really. It's more about writing and-or reading, I guess. Though I do mention any updates for this series or writing I do. The invite is this link <a href="https://discord.gg/DTbGtSc">here</a>. If it makes you feel better, we're a pretty small group and you don't have to interact if you don't wish to. </p>
<p>Well, that's all. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and fic as a whole, and I wish all of you the very best!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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